Let's be honest

[krazykid90]

When I was really young, I used to go to my mom and tell her that I would never get married. Even when I was in high school I used to laugh when my parents ever mentioned me settling down with kids. Even at a young age the whole concept of finding 'the one' was a laughable concept.

Now I'm engaged to a man who I was best friends with for 6 years before he proposed. I do love him, but I'm only 22 so I guess I'm too young to say he's 'the love of my life'. Maybe if I waited I'd find some one I'm more compatable with? Who knows. I don't really believe that people are made for each other. I think that you just have to find some one who you love, and who you could put up with for the rest of your life lol. I know that marriage will take lots of work, there will be fights but I know that with Nick the good will outweigh the bad.

 

[PaperFlowers]

Definitely.

I thought I was in love before, and I wasn't. And it hurt. But in hindsight, it wasn't love, it was an infatuation. And if it was, it was dang unhealthy. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Which makes me think that I did love them, but it definitely wasn't reciprocated. So I can't decide if it is love or not, because there is such a vast difference between my relationships then, and my relationship now.

Steve not only makes my heart jump, but I've been through some horrible stuff lately, things no one should have to deal with, and he has stuck beside me through it all. And he has suffered as well. We've had our ups and downs and we just had this discussion, because we made a decision about something that was affecting us a few days ago. We cut that out of our lives, and it's like rediscovering each other all over again.

It's not that we fell out of love or anything like that at all. We were still very, very much in love, but we have such a deeper appreciation for one another now. Which makes it better and I'm all warm and fuzzy all over again and out of the black pit I sunk into that he pulled me out of. And now I have to deal with my problems, and he's still here with me. (Kicking my butt, too, but I need it! LOL) I trust him now. It took a very long time, and for that matter it will probably still take time. But I trust him completely and totally when he says he's not going anywhere. I still have to beat down my demons, but that's my fight, not his-- what makes it love is that even though they're not his demons, he's kicking butt right beside me and showing me how to.

So, yes. Not only do I get the warm fuzzies, but he's my best friend and it's a two way street. We're deeply attracted to each other and we have a wonderful romance-y type relationship and sweet moments and all. And now, I know that he's sticking by my side, and I by his. (And dang if he didn't prove he was in it with me for the long run, because I put him through some crap, albeit unintentionally, thanks to an abandonment complex due to my father and craptastic exes). ANYWAY, so we're in it together. And I know that now. (I know a lot of things now, so I'm rambling.)

Neither one of us are perfect, but we're perfect for each other

We have our flaws and we've had our spats, but we love each other acknowledging the flaws and enough to work out the spats.

ARGH! Again, I didn't mean to ramble. In summary:

1) Yes he is.

2) He gives me butterflies.

3) We're in it through good times and bad.

4) We trust each other completely.

5) We're best friends.

6) We're deeply attracted to each other.

7) We have the sappy romance moments too. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

8) I love him completely and wholly, and he loves me just as much

 

[sweetnsexy6953]

For me it's a yes. I think for him it's also a yes. We've "broken up" once or twice and everytime he came back so I know he didn't want it to end cuz if he did then he wouldn't have came and got me. Does he get on my nerves, yes. Do I get on his nerves, yes. It's just the way of life and that's how it goes. He's the one that I look forward coming home to after being at work. I didn't feel complete in that time that we weren't together which wasnt long but I still didnt feel complete. I feel complete now and I'm so thankful to have him in my life. He's what I want in a man. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be in school in right and I'm glad that he pushed me to do it. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't think that we would grow old together.

 

[makeupfreak72]

Originally Posted by Nick007 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ugh, I'm right there with you. I've been married for a couple of years now. I so believe in true love and romance and all that stuff. It's more like comfortable, convenience now. It's easier to be together for both of us then to be apart. I remember the beginning and the chasing and I can still think of those times and it gives my butterflies. I'm always looking for the answer if he is the "one" for me. I'm torn. Like the saying goes the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I don't want to find out later in life, if we ever split that he was the one great love of my life. I don't want to take the chance of ruining our marriage now, just to find out the answer to that question and be regretting it for the rest of my life. For now I'll treasure all the good times we have have, and hope we get out of the slump that we're in. Some men really need to get a clue, that once they got us they still need to do things to keep us.

yes, you feel EXACTLY how i do!!! everything you said is like your describing how i feel!!

 

[mahreez]

actually i go thru phases also. there are times i whine and complain about my bf. then there are times i thought i was lucky to have him. lol.

but i never thought that he's not the prince i've dreamt of...coz i actually don't have a prince in mind when i was younger, i thought i'd just be so in love then we'll get married.

but now that reality hits me, i guess not everything that we imagined really happens...but it's really nothing to be sad about coz i'm happy with him and what we have right now.

 

[Nick007]

Originally Posted by makeupfreak72 /img/forum/go_quote.gif yes, you feel EXACTLY how i do!!! everything you said is like your describing how i feel!! That's good to know, cause I feel like such a horrible person sometimes for thinking these thoughts! I have friends with cheater husbands and going through divorces and here I am with no problems like that, and I feel the way that I do. I'm not alone, and that is very good to know.

 

[beaglette]

There are days that I get butterflies in my stomach when I think of Allen (my husband) and I just can't wait to lie next to him in bed or just see him. Then there are days I want to slap the dog mess out of him. We have been married 3 years this November.

I was married to a man for 15 years who I thought was the love of my life. At first, he gave me butterflies (in retrospect, I have no idea why . . .). Later, it just became comfortable. We always had a lot of fun-- not that we ever really did anything special but, we played off of one another's sense of humor and intellect very, very well. He was highly intelligent but not pretentious (although he could get annoying because there truly wasn't a mechanical thing/problem he couldn't figure out). But that died and so did the truly *good* memories thanks to his actions against my daughters. I initially divorced him because our marriage was getting in the way of his dating. I later found out about my girls.

Allen and I have a good time together. We love our kids more than life itself. But, it's certainly not perfect or ideal or what I even pictured my life being. BUT, that doesn't mean it's bad-- it means it's real.

Even though he and I have been married only a short time (relatively speaking), we have weathered *many* storms. My daughter found me dead during my first pregnancy due to liver failure and told my son who then ran to get Allen. Allen breathed for me until the paramedics arrived at our home (about 10 minutes). If that would have been my first husband, I'm nearly certain he would have let me lay there and die.

I say all of that to say this: we ebb and flow in our relationships. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's really bad.

Think about the things that made you fall in love or just love him to begin with. Also, is he a great dad? That can cover a multitude of sins, in and of itself!

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that things improve for you.

Hugs,

Brandi

aka beaglette

 

[brewgrl]

Quote:
Love is an action, and its a commitment. Soooo true. I actually think of love as a job.Except without the paid holidays, sick leave, and 8 hour work days... hahaha

I am a daughter of a single lesbian household, so I wasn't actually raised in a household that believed a prince would come and sweep me off my feet. I was sort of raised on the notion that I have to get things done on my own (sort of gave me this major ego / micro manage complex, but whatever, hehehe) and if a mate slips in, so be it.

Blaze is as close to the "perfect" match with all the "perfect" mismatches in a man. But he fulfills the single most important requirement that I need in a life long mate, and if that ever changes, then it's time to re-evaluate:

If I ever felt that my family was in any type of danger that I was not able to get out of, do I fell that Blaze would be the man to save us? If we got lost in the woods in bad weather, would I be able to rely on him to keep us alive? If I got severely sick and couldn't work anymore, could he provide for us? If there were an intruder in our house, would he keep us safe? When I am truly losing it and panicking because I have no more answers, can I count on Blaze to help me out of a bad mental state?

Oh, actually, I have two requirements: Do we get along with each other's friends? You mentioned you don't have any outside companionship other than your husband... S.O.'s are so much more tolerable in the world when you have close friends. My husband and i have a very strong understanding that our outside friendships are just as important as our relationship. My friends, more than my husband, always know the right thing to say, and always know how to pick out better gifts.

 

[_withoutYou]

One thing that I never understood was that how can anyone be in a relationship or commit to somebody if you are aren't fully in love with them. It should be either all, or nothing at all... why settle.

 

[Layde3Piink]

Well I think that Love Movie's/Storie's are all fairytales, nothing ever turns out the way you want them too, because no one is perfect. I dont think any one can be as perfect as the people in Movies and Stories. Because everyones life is totally different from the movies and stories. The Romance Movies and stories are just something to give you entertainment and have hope that theres a Perfect Person out there for you, and show the respect you all should recieve and that you dont deserve to deal with the ones who hurt and disrespect you and dont treat you right.

Life is what you make of it, live it to the fullest. You Are What You Eat..