i have never lost a parent or loved one besides my gramma when I was 13 and i didn't grow up around her a whole lot. I fell ill equipped on advising you due to my own circumstances but I can't read something like that and not say ANYTHING.
I don't know what to say but I can pass along advice that was given from one Widow raisng a child...from another widow. It sounds rather harsh but it is probably true.
"It really doesn't ever get better, it just gets easier."
You have my Blessings and Prayers...take care of yourself and try to stay busy. try to balance things...I don't think it is healthy to repress things from within us OR to dwell on things within us non-stop.
I won't close this by saying "hope you feel better" 'cuase nothing can replace your loved one. That would be an empty and shallow statement.
All I can say is I hope you feel...well, bearable and happier afer a while.
(((hugs)))
mela
Originally Posted by
Tpsyduck /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm so sorry, it's a very hard loss to take, the loss of a parent. I lost my mother suddenly when I was 15. I was in shock for about 3 years, I just thought she was on vacation or a trip to another hospital and she'd be back soon, that's how I immediately dealt with it. Then 1 day when I was 18, I was cleaning out my wallet and started looking at my pics of her and it was like someone just slapped me really hard! I started crying and kept crying for about an hour, I finally realized she wasn't ever coming back. Well, I'm 33 now, and it still hurts and I still cry. It may sound strange, but I still talk to her daily, and feel that she's my gaurdian angel, since I've had several close calls since her death. IMO you never get over it, you just learn how to deal with it. It can 'Feel' easier after awhile, but it never hurts any less.
I do still have my dad, thank god! I'm a total daddy's girl and worship him, I pray for his health alot, I won't imagine what it'll be like to deal with that loss.
Be strong, don't be afraid to go to a quiet place and talk to them, and remember they're always with you in spirit and your heart. Remember the smiles and laughter. Time will get you through this.
I have to say, every so often, I smell Opium perfume, or just feel a brief touch or chill, that's when I know she's close, and it's nice. Treasure those moments when they happen for you, and they will, trust me
i belive in this statement wholeheartedly. i run the risk of sounding like a mystical falke but I also tell people to pay close attention to dreams about loved ones who are gone, instead of letting it disturb you just kind of relax and think of it as a departed loved one's way of trying to communicate with you. Even if we cannot remember what was said, it is important to remember the feeling associated with the dream. The night my grandmother died I had a dream she kept talking to me and singing me songs and we were laughing together, I was a tiny little kid again in the dream. She died when I was 13.I had another dream about my great-gran whom I felt closer to after she passed as well. I had cried bitterly because I was too sick to attend her funeral on short notice. Within a week I dreamt I saw her and she hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks as well as the mouth- something I had almost always responded awkwardly to. (she was 100 percent Italian, literally emigrated here off-a-boat, I hear that families from there are more free to be effusively affectionate with kids and grandkids than they are around "here." she sat me down and had cooked a hug feast complete with homemmade bread, tossed salads, meat lasagna and neopolitan ice cream.
the signifigance of that is that by the time I was old enough to visit her and stuff she had bad arthritis and no longer could cook much..i never got to taste 1 meal cooked by her and her meals were legendary and pretty much like the one above I described.
i considered it like a special goodbye from her and I really should stop writing now...she lived to be ninety-three... I was nineteen or twnety when she finally passed...but I am tearing up again ,even now. I felt this special connection to my great gran and I still miss her a lot.
