Monday is my night to do the dishes. Is this "fair"?

[MindySue]

Okay so my roomates, and im leaving myself out of this, have a habit of piling up the dishes. Im barely ever here, and when I am I usually eat frozen dinners out of their containers and throw it away. I always immediately clean my dishes afterwards, like drinking glasses and silverware, and leave them to dry. They just pile them in the sink. One of them put a sign up asking to wash their dishes after they dirty them but that didn't work out. Now one of my roomates, Robyn, has assigned everyone a day to do dishes. I didn't complain at first and took monday. I went out last night and wasnt home. Not to mention I didn't even dirty ANY dishes at all since sunday when it was assigned to me for monday. Now im looking at a sink FULL of dishes, to the top, completely a mess, and not ONE of them is mine..yet it's my job to clean them. Is this fair? Im honestly asking, I barely ever dirty the dishes and always clean them after, and they leave them there. Okay, whatever, but to make me do it when I don't even dirty them that way? I don't think it's fair..and I don't want to spend like a half hour cleaning dishes when none of them are mine.

I thought the idea was good at the time but now I realize I never really contribute to the dirty dishes and now i'll have to clean a sink FULL of them every monday?

It keeps getting bigger and bigger, I know theyre waiting for me to clean them since I didn't yesterday.

One last thing, the only dishes that are mine are the clean ones in the drying thing, waiting to be put away. How nice.

 

[michal_cohen]

i think that becuse you are room mates you should honer the ruels even if they not fair

i really understend you but its not like you need to do them everyday

 

[MindySue]

Okay. I guess so. I kind of see it that way but at the same time I feel like theyre using me. Like, theyre letting them pile up right now more than they ever have, because they know they don't have to wash them. I bet when it comes their days they will make a minimal mess.

 

[Bexy]

That would make me mad too. I would go with it if everyone else is and start using as much stuff as you can to put in the sink on the day that they have to do them so they see what it is like.

Then when everyone starts to complain then you all can discuss it and go back to each cleaning your own.

 

[MindySue]

Okay. That is a possibility.

(Im waiting to hear from a few more people on if I should clean them before I do. Then if I do clean them you bet ill be dirtying a ton the next few days)

 

[Bexy]

I know what you mean, Mindy. I would not want to do it either. But the way I see it, you have to live with these people and you all just dedided that you all wanted to change it to have one person do them each day, so why rock the boat. I know it sucks that you have a huge pile, but hopefully the next person has a huge pile as well.

What I want to know is how is this really going to work? I mean you were supposed to do them yesterday, now it is Tuesday and someone else has to do them today, but once you do them there will not be any to do, kwim.

 

[MindySue]

Originally Posted by Bexy /img/forum/go_quote.gif I know what you mean, Mindy. I would not want to do it either. But the way I see it, you have to live with these people and you all just dedided that you all wanted to change it to have one person do them each day, so why rock the boat. I know it sucks that you have a huge pile, but hopefully the next person has a huge pile as well.
What I want to know is how is this really going to work? I mean you were supposed to do them yesterday, now it is Tuesday and someone else has to do them today, but once you do them there will not be any to do, kwim.

I didn't even decide. she came up to me and said we decided we are gonna have a day we all do the dishes. what day do you want, monday or friday. so I said monday. But oh well.
They are assigned every two days. I have Monday, another wed, fri, sunday. so the next one isnt gonna be done till tomarrow.

 

[jessiej78]

I personally would tell them how you feel. If they can't handle that, then that is their problem. I think they are taking advantage of you, if you really want my opinion.

 

[MindySue]

I might do that too. If they ask why I havent done them yet, explain.

Not sure yet.

 

[xEdenx]

I wouldn't do them. If i didn't dirty any then they aren't my responsibility... also it's not fair that you have to clean dishes that the people before you didnt wash.

 

[CellyCell]

You know what, buy your own separate plates and cups (cheap ones, of course. haha). So you know what's yours. Or assign plates/cups so you all know what belongs to who (I'm going assume the plates are different colors or designs?)

Tell them, that this whole "pick a day to clean" isn't working out because you rarely eat there anyways. And that they should learn to clean up after themselves.

 

[MindySue]

We all have a ton of stuff that nothing else will fit, and we all use eachothers stuff..I like your idea that we should clean after ourselves. Theres just too much stuff to add more to it.

(I was waiting for you to answer celly, I value your opinion, you're always honest and blunt..love that. I was actually expecting more of a 'screw that!' type of answer haha)

 

[CellyCell]

Haha. Thanks. I'm in a rush to head to work that's why but if you asked for my honest opinion...

...in my mind I was like, "f*ck that. who the hell wants to touch other people's dirty dishes?"

Then I had an image of you standing over a sink, gagging at left over food. Argh. No kidding, I was really thinking that because that's what I do when I have to wash dishes.

OH. You know what I do? To get out of doing lots of dishes - I don't wash them fully. Like, I'll leave suds or some crumbs left on the plate. I'll get yelled at for not cleaning the plates properly, but it gets me off from not having to wash them for the moment. Maybe you can do that - just be like, "it's not my forte'" haha.

Anyways, who the f*ck wants to touch random people's plate with left over food?

Ew.

But yeah - assigning plates/cups would be best. Or like, buy yourself a 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 cup and utensils. Hello Kitty brand if you like. Haha. They have them!

 

[puncturedskirt]

Originally Posted by CellyCell /img/forum/go_quote.gif You know what, buy your own separate plates and cups (cheap ones, of course. haha). So you know what's yours. Or assign plates/cups so you all know what belongs to who (I'm going assume the plates are different colors or designs?)
Tell them, that this whole "pick a day to clean" isn't working out because you rarely eat there anyways. And that they should learn to clean up after themselves.

I'd say do what she says. I wouldn't clean someone elses dishes because they can't take 10 minutes out of their time.

 

[MindySue]

Thanks. I'll do that.

I hate the idea of them making me clean their shit, none of it is mine.

 

[Sreyomac]

Quote:
You know what, buy your own separate plates and cups (cheap ones, of course. haha). So you know what's yours. Or assign plates/cups so you all know what belongs to who (I'm going assume the plates are different colors or designs?)
Tell them, that this whole "pick a day to clean" isn't working out because you rarely eat there anyways. And that they should learn to clean up after themselves

Thats what i would do too. another thing i would do is clean out what you dont use and need, like you dont need 20 plates etc... Whats not there cant get dirty... if ya know what i mean. Hope it all works out

 

[Aquilah]

Honestly, for me, I wouldn't do them. I'd tell them exactly what you said. "Look, I'm not home very often at all. When I use dishes, I clean them. So, if there's 10 plates, 5 cups, and goodness knows how many utensils, why should I have to clean them if not a single one of them are mine? My suggestion, is that we all do our own dishes."

Now, I'm pretty sure they won't go with this. In which case, then you're pitting yourself against them, and you might even be with what I previously suggested.

Another option, buy your own dishes, let them SEE your new dishes, and let them know those are the ONLY dishes you're washing from here on out. Even better, as much as it would suck, use paper plates and plastic utensils. If you have to use the cooking utensils, then wash them as soon as you're done, dry them, and put them away.

Friday after work I came home to at least 75% of my dishes dirty all over my kitchen, thanks to my MIL. Since we don't have a dishwasher, it took me 3 "loads" to wash it all. I made sure there wasn't a single dirty dish before I left for work yesterday, and I came home to a mess. I didn't touch a damned thing! My MIL comes in this AM, and wants to complain about it?! HA! I immediately put her in her place, and informed her those were all the dishes from the day before plus maybe 2 plates (since I didn't cook last night), and given I washed her mess from Friday! Not a peep came out of her, and she proceeded to wash the dishes.

Now, yes, she's my MIL and an idiot. So, I could get away with it and my husband would've backed me on it. But, at least she knows not to try to pawn off her dishes on me. If it happens again, yes, I'll go so far as to allot her a specified amount of dishes per day, and hide the rest! Extreme, but she'll start to think twice about it!

 

[Manda]

I think everyone should clean their own to avoid feelings like the ones you're having. I tell the same thing to my boyfriend- if he doesn't want to get *****ed at or be forced to do dishes when most aren't his- do his own, leave the rest and always pick up after yourself.

I would just tell the girls that yes, you did agree to this arrangement, but you find it's not working for you because you don't even leave dirty things around and you clean up after yourself and you don't feel that you should have to do other's dishes. Offer to do another job, like bathroom cleanup, take out trash, etc. so you don't seem like you're trying to get out of every cleanup job.

 

[emily_3383]

Well Mindy I would say yes but im the type that cleans my stuff as soon as im finished. I think it has to do with how people are used to doing things. I really hate when the sink piles up in my house so i try to clean all my stuff. I would have a talk with them. In a way it is ok since everyone will have a day to do the dishes but on the other hand it would just be easier if people just clean their own stuff!

Yeah i agree with CellyCell get your own plate, cups and untensils and thats it. lol

 

[MindySue]

Great advice Aquilah. Everyone has been really thankful. Theyre still there and I think im gonna go to my bfs so theyll be there by tomarrow in which wed is robyns day to do them

we will see what happens.