My boyfriend "loves" me but feels like being single? forums

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Dec 21, 2012
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while. But we had dated a previous time where he broke up with me because he sometimes felt like beimg single, and he felt put relationship wasnt going anywhere. Today i found out sometimes he still felt that way. He said he is sorry, but that doesnt fix anything. If he felt like that the first time we dated, he can do it agian. He said that out first relationship isnt like how it is now. He says that he "loves" me. But i dont think you could love someone and feel like that. Im hurt, i feel like im not good enough. Im just scared he is goimg to dump me agian, when he feels like that. I love him so much, but i dont want to be in a relationship where he "loves" me one day, and doesnt feel anything for me the next.

Originally Posted by Kaelyn /img/forum/go_quote.gif
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while. But we had dated a previous time where he broke up with me for that reason. But now he said he "loves" me, and doesnt want to end it. But he feels like being single, i have never felt that way. Like im scared he is going to break up with me. I love him, but i dont want to be in a relationship like that. We are fighting right now. I dont know if im making a big deal, but he broke up with me before that reason, how do i know he isnt going to do it agian.
You need to communicate with him.

Talk with him and tell him how you feel.. don't be scared to talk!

You need to trust him.

If he says that he wants to be single then let him be single.. but if he "loves" you then let him show you how much.

You guys don't need to argue about situations like this. Life is too short to argue about a relationship. If things aren't meant to be then you both will find someone else. It is a hard situation to deal with but I truly wish you the best... oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS<3

P.S. don't stress or worry about it too much.

In the end, everything will fall into place and you will realize it.


Think hard about what you want from him: friends? friends w/benefits? is he the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Or do you just enjoy spending time with him? You don't sound like you're quite "spend the rest of your life with him" stage of your life, in which case, ask yourself if all this angst is worth your time. If he says he wants to be single, then that means he wants to still be with other people - either as friends or more than friends. If you're okay with that, then that's let him live the 'single life' with you by his side.

If you're not okay with that, and you still see him as the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you have a problem, because he's not ready to commit to you. And you can't change that - he has to decide for himself. If you force it, he will resent you for 'taming' him. If you smother him to try to make him want you more, he will feel stifled and miserable. In this case, I would recommend letting him go to be his single-self. If he comes back to you on his own, then he really does love you, and has decided that he wants to spend the rest of his life with wouldn't have forced him to make that decision, so he won't resent you. If he doesn't come back, then it was never meant to be in the first place. 

If you're just friends, or friends with benefits, then get that clear in your head. If you don't see this person as the person you want to have a long-term commitment to, then he's just a friend...let him be single, and you can be as well. But you really have to make sure you are okay with him being with someone else if you take this route. Also, if you do this, be open with him and say that from a safety perspective, you need to know if he's sleeping with anyone don't care if he does, you just need to know to protect yourself. 

Good luck with the situation, it's tough. But from personal experience (very similar circumstance), let him go. Live your life, enjoy the happy memories, and move on. If he comes back to you, he's yours forever. If he doesn't, then it was good you let him go. It's cliche, but true. 

PS - when I let my 'him' go, I found out that he had already lived the 'single' life for about 3 months. And I promptly punctured two of his car's tires before letting him go. 

If he loves you some days and doesn't some other, then he doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone that loves you everyday! You are good enough, we all are good enough! But maybe you two are just not right for each other. I say, don't give him the power of breaking up with you and just dump him, this guy is not good for you if he doesn't love you daily! You deserve much better!! 


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