Need some input in regards to...

Makeuptalk.com - Makeup forums and reviews

Help Support Makeuptalk.com - Makeup forums and reviews:

Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
Remember the the thread I posted about my former doctor? This one..https://forum.makeuptalk.com/f96...ion-64160.html

I received a letter from him around September 4th. I haven't wrote back to him because of my surgery etc plus I didn't want to write too soon.

I'm in the process of writing him a letter. I plan on telling him about my surgery, not the details, since I figure he did similar operations on me maybe he would be interested in medical stuff.

But besides that I have no idea what else to write. My last letter to him ,which he replied to not long ago, I thanked him for helping me in the past. The letter was in more detail explaining that with his support he helped me to where I am today etc etc.

This is what I sensed about him while I was his patient. Although he was nice, sometimes moody, I could also sense he is shy, cautious, and reserved.

There were a few of my letters in the past he never responded to. In one letter I mentioned I had just come back from vacation, explained where I visited. It was short letter, but no details. I also asked him How are you? in that letter. No response. I thought with writing about my vacation, een though it was not in detail, maybe it was too personal?

I feel as though I do have to be careful what I say for fear of maybe scaring him off. I never ask him questions because I don't want him to get the wrong intentions plus I don't want to seem like I am being snoopy.

Of course I would like to know how he is but at the same time I know it is within his right if he chooses not to tell me and I would never pressure him.

The very first letter he wrote me he did mention a few things that I guess you could call somewhat personal. He had fractured a bone and was away visiting relatives. The rest of the letter he mentioned he was pleased to see that I am improving etc.

At the beginning of my letters I always thank him for replying , I hope he is okay and enjoying retirement.

I guess you could say my letters are formal.

In his most recent reply he did add his home address in the letter.

Any thoughts?

 
Joined
Mar 2, 2006
Messages
10,057
Reaction score
2
Hhhmmmm...interesting. How old of a guy is he if he's retired? Just curious... But, I'd say just casually talk about what you're doing. How, exactly, you're improving, etc. Know what I mean? If he knew of your past and you talked about that, there must be some level of intimacy. Not necessarily in a romantic way. I feel like I'm not much help here. lol... but I tried.

 
Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
Originally Posted by kaville /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hhhmmmm...interesting. How old of a guy is he if he's retired? Just curious... But, I'd say just casually talk about what you're doing. How, exactly, you're improving, etc. Know what I mean? If he knew of your past and you talked about that, there must be some level of intimacy. Not necessarily in a romantic way. I feel like I'm not much help here. lol... but I tried. Kaville,
You did help me, thanks! I would say my former, now retired doctor would be in his mid to late 60's. I guess you could say there was a level of intimacy but definitely not romantic lol. He helped me with my former situation, the abuse etc. At the time I was quite traumatized, hardly spoke. Over time I opened up but in a gradual way.

 
Joined
Mar 2, 2006
Messages
10,057
Reaction score
2
So...think of him like you would a beloved father or grandfather and write to him that way. Does he know of your love for animals? He's probably wondering how you're doing romantically or how you're feeling about that type of thing. At least I probably would be.

 
Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
Originally Posted by kaville /img/forum/go_quote.gif So...think of him like you would a beloved father or grandfather and write to him that way. Does he know of your love for animals? He's probably wondering how you're doing romantically or how you're feeling about that type of thing. At least I probably would be. True I could think of him as a father/grandfather. He doesn't know about my love for animals or how I am feeling in regards to relationships or romance.
As for intimacy he doesn't know much about my personal life. He knows what happened to me in the past and maybe a little bit about the lack of support. I was quite guarded with him while I was his patient, only let him know certain things. I think part of it was because of what I went through plus maybe because he was my doctor, ethic, boundaries etc. I was never really sure what I should and should not discuss.

I think there is a part of me that worries about writing the wrong things and possibly scaring him off. I sensed while I was his patient although he is compassionate he does seem to be shy, reserved, cautious. I know some people complained about his lack of bedside manners. He seemed fine with me.

I guess I could start off small and not write too much at once?

 
Joined
Mar 2, 2006
Messages
10,057
Reaction score
2
That sounds like a good idea. I'm no expert on the ethical guidelines Docs are supposed to follow (Thais or Lia would know that better than I would) but, I would THINK anyway that as long as the relationship does not become verbally or physically sexual that the boundary is pretty broad. After all, this person, in many cases, is helping you go through the worst experiences of your life. I don't mean you particularly, I mean generally. Our health and well being is in the hands of this person, so some level of intimacy is unavoidable.

 
Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
Originally Posted by kaville /img/forum/go_quote.gif That sounds like a good idea. I'm no expert on the ethical guidelines Docs are supposed to follow (Thais or Lia would know that better than I would) but, I would THINK anyway that as long as the relationship does not become verbally or physically sexual that the boundary is pretty broad. After all, this person, in many cases, is helping you go through the worst experiences of your life. I don't mean you particularly, I mean generally. Our health and well being is in the hands of this person, so some level of intimacy is unavoidable. That's true, makes sense. I definitely do know that I have no romantic/sexual feelings for him. More of an aquaintance/friend level.
 
Joined
Mar 2, 2006
Messages
10,057
Reaction score
2
You already said you were grateful to him, right? So..he knows this and telling him how you're doing, what you're doing, how life has changed, might be things he would be glad to hear about you. Especially if you were barely speaking at the time he first met you. Know what I mean?

 
Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
Originally Posted by kaville /img/forum/go_quote.gif You already said you were grateful to him, right? So..he knows this and telling him how you're doing, what you're doing, how life has changed, might be things he would be glad to hear about you. Especially if you were barely speaking at the time he first met you. Know what I mean? I thanked him while I was his patient but my last letter I wrote how grateful I was for his support, how much it meant to me etc.
True I could write how I am feeling now, what I am doing etc. I was barely speaking to him at the time when I was his patient.

 

Latest posts

Top