Question for married people

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Originally Posted by Karren /img/forum/go_quote.gif What a jerk!! And I look at women too but not like that!! And I'm more looking at what they are wearing or their makeup! Lol. My wife would kick my ass if I did what he did!! Yep. Not normal, not at all....
 
Originally Posted by Joan_CD /img/forum/go_quote.gif I agree with all the ladies. But, there is something deeper here. As a married person that also happens to be male (sigh), I will glance at an attractive woman. It's just human nature. But, only a glance. It sounds to me like your stepdad may have a psychological problem. What he is doing is not normal to me. He would be better off talking to a psychiatrist and seeking help before someone files a police complaint, he gets beat up by an angry SO... or worse. I agree with you, my dude, looks too, he always has, i just gave up on stopping him. But yeah, it's just glancing not flat out staring to where others notice and he doesn't make anyone feel uncomfortable.
I'm from Texas and we have a lot of illegals from Mexico or people who move from there and they have very bad staring problems. Almost like they are undressing you, it's an awful feeling.

 
Originally Posted by MissMaryMac /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm from Texas and we have a lot of illegals from Mexico or people who move from there and they have very bad staring problems. Almost like they are undressing you, it's an awful feeling. I've gone to mexico several times and there it's not rude or even impolite to do so. Every country has different definitions of proper public etiquette. I've heard of cultures that find it rude to make eye contact and in our society it is considered okay and even expected to do so. They're the ones who find Americans creepy lol but hey that's culture.
 
Originally Posted by Joan_CD /img/forum/go_quote.gif I agree with all the ladies. But, there is something deeper here. As a married person that also happens to be male (sigh), I will glance at an attractive woman. It's just human nature. But, only a glance. It sounds to me like your stepdad may have a psychological problem. What he is doing is not normal to me. He would be better off talking to a psychiatrist and seeking help before someone files a police complaint, he gets beat up by an angry SO... or worse. I agree 100%. If it's gotten so bad that he's staring down the pastor's daughter in church, it sounds like he's got a problem.
Glancing/noticing is human nature. But having a history of staring people down like that is not normal/acceptable.

 
oh geesh i think it's ok to look at other women but if it's so obvious other people call your attention for it, it has got to be really bad. i wouldn't know what to say coz it's not my marriage but if my bf does that to me, i'd tell him if you'd rather be with other women while you're with me, then you're free to go.

 
i agree. nothing wrong with looking (as long as they don't do something about it). but staring is a completely different story.

 
Hell, I'm the one that will point out hot chicks for hubby to look at. Or nice big boobies, lol. Doesn't bother me.

Now...if he were to make catcalls, or whistle, or whatever...then I'd have to bust him upside his head.

 
We (Men) always look at other women. It's in our genes. We cannot help it. Whether indifferent, wrong or disrespectful, we can't help it. We have to try to tame it down, but sometimes it doesn't work.

 
If you have wandering eyes, the mind wanders and then next the body. It is completely disrespectful to your partner to wander in any way or form. If you want to lust after other people, then do your partner a favor and leave. In my book, looking at other women, men (whatever the case may be) is the same as cheating (wandering eyes, wandering mind). If your partner isn't enough, then leave and go play the field. Not all men are like that though. Some men are completely devoted to their partners and are completely satisfied in their relationships thus having no need, lust or want to stray in any way or form.

I'm sorry....it just really bothers me that this is considered normal. However, your stepfather's bahviour is very far from normal.

It sounds like your stepfather needs some serious help...professional help. There are docs who specialize in this sort of thing. It's a sort of sex addiction. You and your mother need to do an intervention. Maybe family/group therapy as well, as his behaviour is now effecting you and embarassingly, the community. Give him that chance to do something about it, and then if it continues....your mother needs to seriously rethink her marriage to him.

I'm sure your mother deserves to be treated like the tolerant and loving wife she is.

Good luck to you all.

 
OMG. He has serious issues. They say mean are visual creatures....but he's taking it to a whole new level by being flat disrespectful. That is such a tough situation. Easy to break up with him if he's a boyfriend but when he's your husband.....its now quite that easy. I pray that it works out for your mother. My heart goes out to her.

 
Originally Posted by Tony-admin /img/forum/go_quote.gif We (Men) always look at other women. It's in our genes. We cannot help it. Whether indifferent, wrong or disrespectful, we can't help it. We have to try to tame it down, but sometimes it doesn't work. Not all men are like that
 
That's good news Twink! let us know how things go! I've got my fingers and toes crossed
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Hey guys update ...they are much better the fighting has FINALLY stopped.She does bring up the woman every once in a while but other than that they are getting better.

 
Originally Posted by TwinkletOes26 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ok my mother and stepfather have been fighting off and on about him checking out other women when we are in the grocery store,lowes,resturants,and the mall. The last time she caught him looking was in the grocery store. We were walking past a woman going to get ingredients for soupn and my stepdad stops turns all the way around and just stared at the woman.Im talking good five minute stare.
Well my mother of course is LIVID. She asked him why was he staring at that woman. He told her he wasnt he was staring at the candy next to her. Now this was a lit bc ALL the candy was set up next to where me and my mother were standing as we watched my stepdad stare at the woman.

The woman was so uncomfortable she left the area. Well we ran into her again in another part of the grocery store. She saw my stepdad and rushed out of the aisle. My mother yelled at him all the way home. They have been fighting ever since this incident happened thursday.

So i know they say a man will stop looking when he is dead but to just flat out stare while your wife is there next to you? Isnt that just RUDE? Is my mother overreacting? Is my stepdad wrong? I dont know cos im not married and if i saw my bf staring a woman down i wouldnt be to happy either. What do yall think?

I think it is shameful and degrading. Not surprising that she is depressed.
 
My hub and I have discussed this on occasion. We both agree that it is normal for men to look, not gawk. He never stares while he is out with me and I like that. It is respectful and considerate, which are so important. I actually tend to look at people more than he does. Not stare but I do look and it certainly is not because I am being flirtatious. I like looking at their makeup and clothes and stuff like that.

I'm really glad they are going to counseling. My best to your family.

 
to look is one thing but to stop and stare all googly-eyed?? Total disrespect

 
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