- Joined
- Nov 28, 2008
- Messages
- 163
- Reaction score
- 0
I have a similar dilemma and you don't need to justify yourself to me or explain things at all. I totally understand. I haven't had an actual relationship since I was a junior in high school. As a kid and a teen, my parents never put any emphasis in my romantic or future life with spouses. They just never talked about it, hoping it will just appear naturally out of thin air and everything will be proper, traditional and good.
For some girls, interest from guys comes naturally because they know how to FLIRT and they seldom realize it. For the rest of us, we have to work a little bit, although not in the romantic comedy sense. It involves observation, thought and balance of the relationship. It's really not that much different from nurturing a long-lasting friendship with your bff. Significant others also are NOT one-size-fit-all. I agree with the advice to find someone that at least has a few fundamental similarities to you.
For the longest time, I often seemed to eye guys that flirted with me, then ended up in a long term relationship with one of the more outgoing and less eccentric friends I have. I guess they weren't really right for me, anyway. Guys also often like to date the same girls. If you have a lot of boyfriends, chances are, you won't have too hard of a time finding another. Men aren't as brave as they try to sound.
I also happen to be very picky. Looks, intellect and temprament matter. I wouldn't say I have bad luck with guys. I just sometimes shun them off unknowingly. I'm certain for you, it's not that you're unattractive. You're cute (I'm not trying to hit on you) and you sound like a normal, articulate individual that is safe and fun to be around. Just don't take it too seriously. Show a little interest and flirt a little. When the time is right, talk about boundaries and expectations (like sex). If he's a mature individual, he'll understand.
May I recommend dating slightly outside of your age group? Maybe including older or slightly younger men can broaden the choices. I personally have bad experience with internet dating. I got way too many emails every day from guys that I (and maybe of you) would probably never want to go near, but then again, it was a free site. One decent guy did message me, but he lived in another state.
Anyways, I hope you got anything at all from all my blabber. You're welcome to disagree. And good luck!
For some girls, interest from guys comes naturally because they know how to FLIRT and they seldom realize it. For the rest of us, we have to work a little bit, although not in the romantic comedy sense. It involves observation, thought and balance of the relationship. It's really not that much different from nurturing a long-lasting friendship with your bff. Significant others also are NOT one-size-fit-all. I agree with the advice to find someone that at least has a few fundamental similarities to you.
For the longest time, I often seemed to eye guys that flirted with me, then ended up in a long term relationship with one of the more outgoing and less eccentric friends I have. I guess they weren't really right for me, anyway. Guys also often like to date the same girls. If you have a lot of boyfriends, chances are, you won't have too hard of a time finding another. Men aren't as brave as they try to sound.
I also happen to be very picky. Looks, intellect and temprament matter. I wouldn't say I have bad luck with guys. I just sometimes shun them off unknowingly. I'm certain for you, it's not that you're unattractive. You're cute (I'm not trying to hit on you) and you sound like a normal, articulate individual that is safe and fun to be around. Just don't take it too seriously. Show a little interest and flirt a little. When the time is right, talk about boundaries and expectations (like sex). If he's a mature individual, he'll understand.
May I recommend dating slightly outside of your age group? Maybe including older or slightly younger men can broaden the choices. I personally have bad experience with internet dating. I got way too many emails every day from guys that I (and maybe of you) would probably never want to go near, but then again, it was a free site. One decent guy did message me, but he lived in another state.
Anyways, I hope you got anything at all from all my blabber. You're welcome to disagree. And good luck!
