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- Feb 5, 2008
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For background, I live with my boyfriend and a roommate, a friend who I have known since 4th grade. She has always been the type to get what she wants - youngest girl in a family and her parents to this day pay for many things for her, including her phone bills, even though she is approaching her mid-twenties, and she tends to get very defensive if you get even mildly confrontational with her. Or even if you say something she doesn't like but you are trying hard not to be confrontational, she still takes it that way.... anyways despite all that we get along for the most part and always have, and have all lived together for several years.
But on many occasions it has been suspected, or in other cases blatantly obvious, that she was eating our food without asking us, and when it was explicitly obvious she was not allowed to. We agreed when we started living together to share basics like milk and butter, but that the rest was for ourselves and not for sharing. But as I said, on several occasions it was obvious without a doubt she was eating our food, and on other occasions we were almost certain she did. And we have confronted her about it, and given her a chance to admit to it. I believe one time she did fess up to it and we told her not to do that again, if she wants something, she can ask.
But recently we've been noticing food going missing again... and today another blatant example occured. I bought some chips yesterday and ate a bunch of them, got a little carried away while reading a book... I noticed I was going a little crazy but stopped myself while there was still enough for a decent sized (personal) bowl of chips, put a clip on them and put them in the kitchen to save for my boyfriend so he could have some. I went to bed (at this point my BF was already sleeping). We both got up early the next morning and went to work. When I got home that evening, my BF wasn't home yet, but I noticed the bag of chips was in the garbage. I texted him to ask if he had eaten the chips that morning and I just hadn't seen him do it, but he said no.
So right there I knew she ate them.... but still, when my boyfriend asked her about it, she got all defensive and said she was cleaning up in the kitchen and the bag was "practically empty" so she just threw it out. Funny thing though that I knew for a fact there was enough for another bowl in there... and that the kitchen (which was messy and needed to be cleaned) was EXACTLY as messy as it had been when I left that morning for work, except for our missing chip bag. The same clean dishes were waiting to be put away in the dishwasher, the same dishes were in the sink and on the counter, and in the drainrack, the garbage was still full and ready to be changed. The counters had the same crap that needed to be put away sitting there. Not a thing was "cleaned" except for our apparently empty chip bag.
Just so frustrated with this crap.... it's not the first time it's happened, it's not the first time she's lied. The advice you always seem to get it just to confront them - but what to do when confrontation doesn't work? When they just lie to your face? And have the nerve to act all wounded and sassy afterwards like you falsely accused them or something. Unfortunately at this point financially we can't just kick her out, unless we knew 100% we would have someone else trustworthy to move in - plus it wouldn't be easy to do that to someone you've lived with for years and known even longer. It's not practical or possible for us to lock up our food away from her. It's like we've tried everything we reasonably can.
At this point I'm just ready to start treating her food like fair game, if that's how she wants to be.
(EDIT: LOL I have to have a chuckle though that THIS post is actually my 1000th!
haha...)
But on many occasions it has been suspected, or in other cases blatantly obvious, that she was eating our food without asking us, and when it was explicitly obvious she was not allowed to. We agreed when we started living together to share basics like milk and butter, but that the rest was for ourselves and not for sharing. But as I said, on several occasions it was obvious without a doubt she was eating our food, and on other occasions we were almost certain she did. And we have confronted her about it, and given her a chance to admit to it. I believe one time she did fess up to it and we told her not to do that again, if she wants something, she can ask.
But recently we've been noticing food going missing again... and today another blatant example occured. I bought some chips yesterday and ate a bunch of them, got a little carried away while reading a book... I noticed I was going a little crazy but stopped myself while there was still enough for a decent sized (personal) bowl of chips, put a clip on them and put them in the kitchen to save for my boyfriend so he could have some. I went to bed (at this point my BF was already sleeping). We both got up early the next morning and went to work. When I got home that evening, my BF wasn't home yet, but I noticed the bag of chips was in the garbage. I texted him to ask if he had eaten the chips that morning and I just hadn't seen him do it, but he said no.
So right there I knew she ate them.... but still, when my boyfriend asked her about it, she got all defensive and said she was cleaning up in the kitchen and the bag was "practically empty" so she just threw it out. Funny thing though that I knew for a fact there was enough for another bowl in there... and that the kitchen (which was messy and needed to be cleaned) was EXACTLY as messy as it had been when I left that morning for work, except for our missing chip bag. The same clean dishes were waiting to be put away in the dishwasher, the same dishes were in the sink and on the counter, and in the drainrack, the garbage was still full and ready to be changed. The counters had the same crap that needed to be put away sitting there. Not a thing was "cleaned" except for our apparently empty chip bag.
Just so frustrated with this crap.... it's not the first time it's happened, it's not the first time she's lied. The advice you always seem to get it just to confront them - but what to do when confrontation doesn't work? When they just lie to your face? And have the nerve to act all wounded and sassy afterwards like you falsely accused them or something. Unfortunately at this point financially we can't just kick her out, unless we knew 100% we would have someone else trustworthy to move in - plus it wouldn't be easy to do that to someone you've lived with for years and known even longer. It's not practical or possible for us to lock up our food away from her. It's like we've tried everything we reasonably can.
At this point I'm just ready to start treating her food like fair game, if that's how she wants to be.
(EDIT: LOL I have to have a chuckle though that THIS post is actually my 1000th!

