Secret Santa 2014 input wanted

[tacehtpuekam]

Just wanted to clarify... when I said 'x amount of posts in a certain amount of time' for the requirements..I meant like 50/100 posts in the last year. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Only because I know I've seen people signed up who DO have 50 posts but they've been a member for 3 years or something. That just doesn't give people enough current information to work off of, in my opinion. 

As far as posting during the actual exchange, I realize people get busy. I've hardly been on at all this week because work is so nuts & all I want to do when I get home is sleep! It doesn't have to be anything crazy. Maybe just posting at least once every two weeks or something (in the SS thread) & if you're going to be out of town or offline for an extended period of time, just let a mod know. I'm just concerned about the people who literally signed up and we never heard from them again during the entire exchange. 

 

[puppymomofthree]

That last post makes me sound really mean.  I don't mean to be.  I try to keep a good heart...really, I do.  I guess  I'm the type of person who shows hurt as anger.

No show buddies make us sad...I guess that's what I really want to say.

You are so not mean!  You are fantastic, and a wonderful buddy to have!

 

[Elizabeth Mac]

I think the survey was very helpful! I found some great information regarding colors, scents, and general likes/dislikes. It really helped me get a sense of my FGC.

I also believe the mods and fairies did a WONDERFUL job!! The gift from my FGM took a little vacation in the wrong town for a couple of days, and @ was on top of it by checking in with both me and my FGM until the package was delivered to my hands. I really appreciate the time and effort put into this!! 

 

[kawaiiwoofs]

I really like mandatory surveys. They're so helpful and can at least give some guidance if you have a quieter Santee.

I think pushing back the membership sign up date is a great idea and can avoid having 50 posts of "I agree!" in order to hit the 50 deadline by the sign up date.

I like the idea of emphasizing the importance of participation (and I can't imagine NOT participating!) in the chat threads but people do get busy, have lives outside of MUT, and the holidays get crazy sometimes! While we're kicking around the idea of mandatory participation or posts replying to a question of a week (right? I've interpreted the posts correctly thus far?) --- What are the repercussions if someone does not participate? Who is actually going to take count of these participation quotas? That's a hell of a lot of work for an organizer. I know we're coming from a good place with these ideas but I'm just thinking from an admin perspective.

Babs and I worked hard to encourage participation and had kinda "kick off" chit chatty questions in the discussion thread. It's unfortunate but sometimes we gotta accept that some people may never pipe up!

OH just remembered this. I think we could also have a tutorial on how to find all of everyone's posts via their profile. And where to go to find their survey, etc. Seems simple but some people might need implicit directions... Got a few requests about wanting a full update about what's happened in x amount of time because they've been busy and away. Or complaints about not having ANY to work off of and 1 their person did post a survey/wishlist 2 their posts actually had a lot of info. Sorry. But no. Help me help you!

 

[DonnaD]

I like the idea of emphasizing the importance of participation (and I can't imagine NOT participating!) in the chat threads but people do get busy, have lives outside of MUT, and the holidays get crazy sometimes! While we're kicking around the idea of mandatory participation or posts replying to a question of a week (right? I've interpreted the posts correctly thus far?) --- What are the repercussions if someone does not participate? Who is actually going to take count of these participation quotas? That's a hell of a lot of work for an organizer. I know we're coming from a good place with these ideas but I'm just thinking from an admin perspective.

Repercussions?  How about not being able to participate in future gift exchanges?

If a person KNOWS that their lives are a busy mess, why would they sign up for this in the first place?  Seriously?  I love the circular nail polish swaps but I bowed out in the 3rd round when I knew that things were about to get super busy for me.

I just really think it's selfish and rude for a person  to involve themselves in something like this and then just be completely not present for the duration.  What's the point?  Do they need gifts that badly?   There's no excitement or participation from them AT ALL.  Some of them never bother to say a simple thank you.  A few of them never even acknowledge the present at all!!

I don't know about other people, but to me that's incredibly insensitive, self-centered and damned rude.

I don't think a participation rule is too much to ask.  If you're going to sign up for this type of thing, then participate...if you don't want to participate then just go to the trade threads.  

And for real, if I get another no-show non-participating secret santa this year, I'll never do it again.  It's disheartening.  It makes me sad.  It's no fun and it makes me feel used.

 

[DonnaD]

Also, it wouldn't be a bunch of work for mods.  Obviously, a person will know whether or not their buddy is participating and can contact a mod to have them try to nudge participation.  If the person still doesn't participate, they can be warned.

It's easy enough.  Everyone ends up knowing who didn't participate.

 

[meaganola]

What can be done if someone is an active chatter, signs up, and *then* stops participating? And what about people who do not respond to nudges from fairies/elves/mods? (This is not sarcastic or rhetorical. This is a real, genuine concern and struggle. I just don't know what the expected during-the-swap resolution is.)

 

[DonnaD]

What can be done if someone is an active chatter, signs up, and *then* stops participating? And what about people who do not respond to nudges from fairies/elves/mods? (This is not sarcastic or rhetorical. This is a real, genuine concern and struggle. I just don't know what the expected during-the-swap resolution is.)

I know.  Aside from blocking future participation, I don't know what the answer is.

Mostly I'm just seriously tweaked by the fact one person's buddy hasn't made any acknowledgement whatsoever two weeks after receiving her gift.  It's just so damnably rude and hurtful.  People are in it for fun and there'll always be some selfish person who doesn't concern themselves with the feelings of others...and they'll never even know how hurtful they've been since they can't be bothered to participate...they just go on their merry way because nobody has told them they've been kind of a nasty jerk.

 

[Lolo22]

I think it could be either, although especially early on, it might be helpful to be swap-related. Jessica and Babs did a great job kicking off the Summerswap thread that way. It lets people jump right in. And people were good about keeping it going.

Having a few mods seemed to work well. Maybe more important is how it worked for the moderators!

And the directory was handy so the surveys didn't get buried. Maybe instead of a sign-up thread where we just say "signed up," we could post the surveys there. They'd all.be together and we could look without anyone knowing.

I really like how random questions were flying around in the Summerswap thread, however I don't think my person answered any of them.  I can see how some people got pure gold off of some of the responses /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />.   I like the idea of some kind of mandatory posting in the SS thread once a week or whatever.  I mean really, anything helps when you have nothing to go on.  Both of my swap people pretty much stopped posting once names were sent out so it's making me re-think if I want to be part of another exchange this Christmas. 

 

[Lolo22]

I really like mandatory surveys. They're so helpful and can at least give some guidance if you have a quieter Santee.

I think pushing back the membership sign up date is a great idea and can avoid having 50 posts of "I agree!" in order to hit the 50 deadline by the sign up date.

I like the idea of emphasizing the importance of participation (and I can't imagine NOT participating!) in the chat threads but people do get busy, have lives outside of MUT, and the holidays get crazy sometimes! While we're kicking around the idea of mandatory participation or posts replying to a question of a week (right? I've interpreted the posts correctly thus far?) --- What are the repercussions if someone does not participate? Who is actually going to take count of these participation quotas? That's a hell of a lot of work for an organizer. I know we're coming from a good place with these ideas but I'm just thinking from an admin perspective.

Babs and I worked hard to encourage participation and had kinda "kick off" chit chatty questions in the discussion thread. It's unfortunate but sometimes we gotta accept that some people may never pipe up!

OH just remembered this. I think we could also have a tutorial on how to find all of everyone's posts via their profile. And where to go to find their survey, etc. Seems simple but some people might need implicit directions... Got a few requests about wanting a full update about what's happened in x amount of time because they've been busy and away. Or complaints about not having ANY to work off of and 1 their person did post a survey/wishlist 2 their posts actually had a lot of info. Sorry. But no. Help me help you!

What about if all the swap participants are tagged in a weekly chat question?  That way they get a reminder email (assuming their settings send them emails) about the thread.  Yes, they can ignore it, but it would be a polite reminder.  I think fairies/elves/roadies could even do this as long as the list of names is posted somewhere.

 

[kawaiiwoofs]

Also, it wouldn't be a bunch of work for mods. Obviously, a person will know whether or not their buddy is participating and can contact a mod to have them try to nudge participation. If the person still doesn't participate, they can be warned.

It's easy enough. Everyone ends up knowing who didn't participate.

I think we would need to set pretty clear standards about what it means to participate. Some people just simply do not post often.

To your earlier point, yes I totally agree that it's incredibly rude for someone to not say thank you, not post a reveal. That would break my heart.

But, some people join for the sake of GIFTING too not just to receive (although it's easier to think of it that way). Looking back on previous swaps over the last year or so that I've participated in, I noticed sometimes my gifter would hardly participate in the chat threads. She had a job that kept her really busy! She gave me an awesome gift and took the time to stalk thoroughly. I imagine that her own gifter may have had enough info to go off of but not crazy amounts that you would see from a constant person like myself. And to @meaganolas point - there ARE a good number of people who may be active in other threads or in discussion threads then trail off or life catches up and they disappear in the middle of the swap (but reemerge for a reveal which is nice). What do you do about them? To what standard is enough posts truly enough?

 

[kawaiiwoofs]

Also, it wouldn't be a bunch of work for mods. Obviously, a person will know whether or not their buddy is participating and can contact a mod to have them try to nudge participation. If the person still doesn't participate, they can be warned.

It's easy enough. Everyone ends up knowing who didn't participate.

To this point specifically, we can't just warm people for things that don't actually violate TOS. And, from the number of swaps - I HAVE nudged people to try to get them to participate or even do something basic like post their wishlist / survey. Bottom line, as a mod or as a normal ol person, I can't force anyone to do anything.

mods do have a fair bit of work - whether it's working on other pages; working on the swap itself; or working in real life. I personally would not be the mod to have the check list and make tick marks every time someone posts.

 

[kawaiiwoofs]

Repercussions? How about not being able to participate in future gift exchanges?

If a person KNOWS that their lives are a busy mess, why would they sign up for this in the first place? Seriously? I love the circular nail polish swaps but I bowed out in the 3rd round when I knew that things were about to get super busy for me.

But what if life just happens in the middle of the sign ups? What if, I don't know, my grandma dies, my company makes a big acquisition, or something else that will keep you away from posting because my life outside of the discussion thread might be keeping me too busy to post regularly?

Are you more trying to resolve the issue of not having the gift being acknowledged or the issue of someone not participating or both? I want to help find a solution but I think I want to know which is the bigger problem.

 

[Kelly Silva]

I really like how random questions were flying around in the Summerswap thread, however I don't think my person answered any of them.  I can see how some people got pure gold off of some of the responses /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />.   I like the idea of some kind of mandatory posting in the SS thread once a week or whatever.  I mean really, anything helps when you have nothing to go on.  Both of my swap people pretty much stopped posting once names were sent out so it's making me re-think if I want to be part of another exchange this Christmas. 

Yeah I liked the questions too. I answered most of them, and I post a ton so I'm sure there was great stuff for my buddy. I like to think that most people have good intentions when it comes to this swap, so I wonder if a advisory at sign up that you should be available to participate in the thread, check your PMs, try to post a few times at least, for the swap. I know I sort of stumbled into the Summerswap just a few days before it closed, and I'm sure others who aren't familiar with how much time/energy it takes will stumble into the sign up page and sign up before really considering if they are going to have that kind of time/energy for the next month or two.

 

[DonnaD]

But what if life just happens in the middle of the sign ups? What if, I don't know, my grandma dies, my company makes a big acquisition, or something else that will keep you away from posting because my life outside of the discussion thread might be keeping me too busy to post regularly?

Are you more trying to resolve the issue of not having the gift being acknowledged or the issue of someone not participating or both? I want to help find a solution but I think I want to know which is the bigger problem.

Let's take my present person for example.  @@trekkersangel is my roadie and managed to get her to respond a couple of times.  She says she's busy with her job.

If she can take the 2 minutes out of her life to respond to my roadie, why couldn't she take an extra 30 seconds to drop in on the thread to say that?  See what I'm saying?  This isn't me saying you must post every day multiple times a day, it's ONCE A WEEK.  If someone can't get on the thread once a week, then why bother?

I'm not talking about cancer or death.  People tend to find that stuff out and no one is going to be upset when really serious issues crop up.  But for regular people who are busy with kids and jobs, there's no good excuse for not participating at all over the space of the 8-ish weeks these things tend to go on for.

Nobody is talking about posting regularly...we're talking about a once a week requirement.  We're not talking about forcing people to be happy here  We're talking about a picture reveal requirement.

Ya know, this isn't a group people have to join.  It's voluntary.  And a couple of participation rules isn't going to ruin anyone's experience.  Exceptions for real emergencies can always be made.

Most of the people who are regular participants will find a way to let someone know if there's a problem.  The regular participants aren't the problem.  The problem is the handful of people who sign up and then disappear.  I'm going to assume they don't even know there's reveal threads and fun discussion threads.  Nobody has told them.  These things tend to have 3 or 4 companion threads and I know I've personally gotten confused by them.  There's sign up, godmother thread, chat thread, reveal thread and who knows what else.  I myself am still not used to this forum.  I still have trouble finding stuff.

If it's built into the requirements then at least they'll know that this is how it's expected to be done.

 

[trekkersangel]

I think this is a very difficult subject.  I participated in both swaps this summer.  I had one very active poster & one that was more of a lurker.  I was still able to put together a nice gift for the lurker, but I definitely had to stalk a bit.  However, she turned out to be the sweetest thing that was just scared of what people would think of her responses.  She loved her gift, posted a reveal, & sent me a wonderful thank you message.  I know there are a LOT of introverts out there who it really takes a LOT out of them to post on threads like this.  HOWEVER, I do feel that posting really needs to take place from everyone involved.  The more people post, the more awesome it is to buy for them.  So we need to come up with some way to really encourage people to post.

I really liked the idea of asking a questions & tagging everyone in it with the @ signs.  That's a great little reminder that makes you say "Oh yeah, I need to say something over there for the wonderful person buying me a gift."  We can't force anyone to do anything, but we really need to put something in the first post of the thread/swap that says "If you sign up for this. . . you must acknowledge that you got a gift in the form of a reveal or thank you."  We still can't force it, but they'll read it when they sign up at least.

The survey was WONDERFUL for the swaps this summer.  I loved them, even though they were long.  I really got to know both my girls & fell in love with their personalities.  It helped me buy the perfect things for them & made the whole experience fun.  I felt like I was buying a present for my best friend.

And I think maybe we should put a link to the reveal threads from the swaps this summer & have everyone review them "to get excited" for secret santa.  That reiterates how exciting these swaps are & how happy & wonderful we feel during them.  The whole summer swapping experience has really truly been sunshine, unicorns, & rainbows for a lot of people.  We need to keep that in mind as we go forward because really there isn't a better thread on MuT right now.  You can't go to those threads without smiling.  I LOVE THEM.

And can I just say I'm SO excited to do this again with all of you in December?  I can't wait to stalk, shop, buy, & bask in the reveals of happiness!!!  Hooray for Secret Santa.

 

[kawaiimeows]

As long as someone meets the minimum requirements to join in and fulfill any survey obligations, they shouldn't be forced to converse during the duration of the secret santa events. Some people just don't post a lot. My SS didn't post a lot before and doesn't post a lot now either.

I think forcing people to post is unfair to to introverts and lurkers, or people with families/jobs/etc.

Forcing people to do something that they wouldn't normally do otherwise puts undue pressure on them and takes the fun out of what should be a fun thing, and everyone takes fun in different aspects of the SS experience.

 

[Lolo22]

As long as someone meets the minimum requirements to join in and fulfill any survey obligations, they shouldn't be forced to converse during the duration of the secret santa events. Some people just don't post a lot. My SS didn't post a lot before and doesn't post a lot now either.

I think forcing people to post is unfair to to introverts and lurkers, or people with families/jobs/etc.

Forcing people to do something that they wouldn't normally do otherwise puts undue pressure on them and takes the fun out of what should be a fun thing, and everyone takes fun in different aspects of the SS experience.

But in the alternative, getting a person who drops off the face of the earth once the swap starts is no fun either. There has to be a way to make it fun for everyone. Answering what your favorite color or food is under an anonymous alias can't be that stressful.

 

[kawaiimeows]

But in the alternative, getting a person who drops off the face of the earth once the swap starts is no fun either. There has to be a way to make it fun for everyone. Answering what your favorite color or food is under an anonymous alias can't be that stressful.

That's why there should just be a mandatory survey everyone fills out and that's it. There's no reason to force people to chat in the chit chat threads.

 

[Dashery]

I think the survey helps a lot! I know my buddy didn't stick around to chat, but she had a pretty thorough survey, so I had no trouble shopping for her. (Of course, she also has a blog and posts elsewhere on the site, so maybe that's not the best example... :blush:  )

All I can say is, I love the survey! :wub:   Let's definitely keep that! And if we want to make it mandatory, we can tack it onto the sign-ups or something.

As for participation and everything else, I don't think there's one, right answer. We might all just have to settle on a best or fair solution, even if it's not perfect.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />