Spouse vs Children: Which Relationship is the Priority?

[jeanarick]

Wow, this has gotten really heated.  Let's all agree to disagree on this matter.  The good news is, this web sites home base is the USA where we believe in freedom of religion and the right to freely print, voice and express our ideas about religion and also where we believe in freedom of speech and the right to freely print, voice and express our anti-religious beliefs.  No one is right or wrong in their religious or anti-religious beliefs, it is a matter of personal choice.  No one is right or wrong in quoting scripture if that is what they belive in and no one is right or wrong for disagreeing with that same scripture according to their belief.  The point is, we all have the right to free expression of our beliefs and the right to disagree.  It really doesn't need to be a heated arguement.  I respect and value all of your opinions and your right to those opinions.

 

[janetgriselle]

You're right Jeannine, it's not worth it, I was out of line. Sorry for causing this much uproar, I shouldn't have dignified the post with a response

 

[Aly Kay]

Spouse & Children relationships are totally different...and they require different kind of attention...but if you have a good relationship with your spouse...your children are going to see that and it will effect them positively....and vice versa. So maybe try not to give an 'order' to family members. 

Like your husband says that child is number 1 and spouse is number 2....what if you have more children...then they will want to know who is number 1 in them and who is number 2 or 3 depending on how many children you might have. So best option is to give everyone the same value and be on the same "team". At the end your guys' relationship is going to have an effect on your child, isn't is better that its a good effect =D

Good Luck with everything.

Hope everything gets better

xoxoxoxo

 

[xina751]

I don't have children yet but do plan on them in the future...if my health allows. I grew up in a family where i knew my parents were devoted to each other and that they were both "the boss". I feel like i always saw my parents putting each other first. and thats not to say that my little sister and i suffered, we really saw the love, admiration, and teamwork my parents used daily to rear us. and don't forget, a child's needs vary all the time, and your partner will always NEED certain things out of a relationship that you can expect...so i think it's easy enough to meet a childs needs and also your own. i think if children grow up knowing they are center of the universe, they will continue to believe it as adults....

 

[MakeupofDesire]

My mom always taught me while growing up that once married that I need to make my husband a priority over children.  That's how my mom lived and I'm glad she did.  If you don't treat your man good/right, he's not going to stick around.  Your children will be around and always will be around.  There's always a tight knit relationship between parent and child.  But that bond between you and your spouse may not be as tight, therefore you could end up a broken home.  The one time my mom put us kids first, she started slacking in the spousal dept and my dad and mom got divorced for a year.  They ended up realizing they can't live without each other and got remarried.  Same with my husband's parents.  I've also seen that happen to my best friend's parents.  The parents started putting their kids first and the spark between them died out.  So did their marriage.  So in my opinion, put your spouse first.  Your children are a very close second and you just have to figure out how to balance your time so you can be devoted to both. But priority, in my book, is my husband.  I have a great relationship with my 16 yro son.  I also have a great relationship with my parents.  So I'm a product of having my dad come first and it didn't hurt me or my brother one bit. 

 

[Adrienne]

I know I posted this a long time ago but I'd still like to thank everyone for their responses. Luckily, it's taken months but going thru a rough patch has really solidified a lot more in our marriage. We're one month shy of being eight years together and luckily we're both seeing a bit more eye to eye. It's been a very long difficult year with too many trying situations and tragic deaths in the family.  I can't wait for this year to be over. As awful as it's been, it's given us the ability to be more appreciative of our loved ones although the price was costly.

 

[divadoll]

It's been a crappy year for me as well.  I hope you and I can both say good bye to this stupid year and start a new happy one.  Good to see you back. 

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif

I know I posted this a long time ago but I'd still like to thank everyone for their responses. Luckily, it's taken months but going thru a rough patch has really solidified a lot more in our marriage. We're one month shy of being eight years together and luckily we're both seeing a bit more eye to eye. It's been a very long difficult year with too many trying situations and tragic deaths in the family.  I can't wait for this year to be over. As awful as it's been, it's given us the ability to be more appreciative of our loved ones although the price was costly.

 

[Adrienne]

Thanks DivaDoll. I say good riddance to this lousy year, Bring it on 2012!

 

[khoobsurati]

Dear Adrienne .......... may be you are getting your husband wrong. He might have seen some ups and downs in his own or anybody other's lyf due to ignorance from parents. That is why he is showing more care towards your son because he wants to prevent the child from any kind of consequences due to parental ignorance. Don't hate him for that coz at least he cares about the child. You might not be aware of the fact that most times dads dont care much about the child and leave all the responsibilities to mothers. I know you have your own wishes that you want him to fulfill. Just talk to him and tell him that you are not getting much of his time and ask him to spare some time for you.     

 

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by khoobsurati /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Don't hate him for that coz at least he cares about the child. You might not be aware of the fact that most times dads dont care much about the child and leave all the responsibilities to mothers. I know you have your own wishes that you want him to fulfill. Just talk to him and tell him that you are not getting much of his time and ask him to spare some time for you.     

I'm quite aware that plenty of fathers don't care about their children and leave all their responsibilities to the mothers and vice versa. For a few years, I was one of those mothers... There is absolutely no hatred geared towards their relationship. I originally posted this venting out after months of talking to him, too.

But, like I already mentioned, we're at a much better place now /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />.