Still SO sad and upset over things...

[KristieTX]

My sister and I had a falling out over a month ago. Most of you have read about it and my subsequent breakdown.

I decided when she sent me the last message on Myspace (which was somewhat nasty, might I add) that I was going to cut her out of my life completely. Not for my benefit, but for hers. If I am such an unreasonable and unstable person, than I don't think she needs me in her life anymore.

I deleted my Myspace and have not been on Yahoo messenger at all. I even took a complete break from the Internet for about a week and a half and don't even get on here as much as I did before.

I have no friends in real life, except for my best friend that I never see.

I just still can't believe that she backstabbed me and I am still SO hurt. She had the gall to say that I am unreasonable for missing her and that she doesn't miss me as much as I miss her. She was my best friend.

And to top it off, she calls here on my birthday. I'm sure to rub it in my face that she called and didn't even wish me a Happy Birthday, but to talk to our mother.

I cry all the time over this. I can't forgive her because of the horrible things she "said" that still play over and over in my mind, yet I miss my sister.

This sucks and I'm just so upset.

 

[BeneBaby]

I'm so sorry Kristie. But you know what....you seem like a very nice girl and she's missing out. My Sister and I don't get along and I learned that not taking her b*tchy ways to heart and living my own life was the best thing. I will always l;love my Sister, but we just don't see eye to eye. She backstabs me as well.

I really hope things get better for you!! We sure do miss you here!

 

[Aquilah]

My sister and I had a falling out years ago, and we're currently in another one. Sad to say, but I don't particularly care for her given the selfish ***** she's being. I love her overall as she is my sister, but still.

My mom always told me, "Boys will come and go, friends may even come and go, but family is forever." As much as she's been a real snot, I think within time you two might be okay. I can't be positive, but it's possible.

It's only natural, I would think, that while you're extremely upset with your sister, you'd miss her. Like I said, I think you two might be okay, even given the hurtful things said and/or done. Sometimes, as much as it sucks, we have to forgive. Even if we dont' forget.

I probably did nothing to help out at all... I'm sorry if I didn't offer anything worthy, but I truly wish you the best Kristie! You know we're always here if you need someone to talk to!

 

[emily_3383]

Im sorry you feel sad im feeling blah at moment about stuff too. Atleast you can share on MUT.

 

[KristieTX]

Thanks ladies for your support.

I'm sure that she has posted more nasty things about me, but I'm not going on search for them. I think it is better for me that I don't know. That is what started this whole mess plus, how dare I ask if she wants to come down to Houston or not to see me! ARGH! That's what really pisses me off, I asked her maybe 3 times if she was coming and because she really didn't want to, instead of being truthful with me about it, she made it out like I was DEMANDING she come down. And at the last minute.

 

[Shelley]

Kristie,

I'm sorry you are going through this with your sister, it is really difficult. My brother and I do not see eye to eye on certain things, he sort of thinks he is top notch, bit of an ego etc, so I understand what it is like.

You are a wonderful person Kristie, don't ever forget that. You have many friends on MUT who are here for you. Hugs to you.

 

[SqueeKee]

Oh Kristie I am so sorry

I too know the feeling . . . my oldest sister kicked me out onto the streets of Toronto when I was 18 and I can never forgive her for that, even though from time to time I still miss her

I hope you feel better soon sweetie

 

[PaperFlowers]

I was raised an only child for the first like 18 years of my life. When my half-sister Stacie found me, I was SO happy. She later went on to take advantage of me (my other sister [who found me when I was 19 and eventually uncovered the truth about my whole family for me] helped her out endlessly and I did my best to), tell us she wanted us dead, try to steal my sister's husband, tell us she wanted us to suffer and hurt.

I have not spoken to her since. She tried to e-mail me, apologizing and everything, but I cannot and will not EVER forgive her. It's hard, I mean, she has her good moments, but ultimately you need to decide what is best for you.

HUGE *hugs* for you right now. I'm here if you need me.

 

[KellyB]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am an only child so it's hard for me to understand the sibling stuff. You have lots of friends here though so keep us updated. Hugs to you.........

 

[pinksugar]

Kristie you do have friends - right here on MUT

I'm so sorry to hear about your family dramas. My sister drives me crazy but like the other girls said - she's my family, so I still love her.

It's totally natural for you to miss her. If you choose to cut her out of your life then maybe she will see in time that she misses you too and will appologise. I don't think you're unreasonable and nor are you selfish. You're an extremely generous person, and its ok to be upset. Let it all out and try to move on with your life. Eventually she will come around and that is when you have to ask yourself truthfully if you can, and will, forgive her.

Best of luck and lots of hugs

 

[farris2]

That sucks Kristie sorry to hear it.

 

[SqueeKee]

Originally Posted by pinksugar /img/forum/go_quote.gif Kristie you do have friends - right here on MUT So true! I like my MUT friends way more than my real life friends and I don't care how pathetic that sounds!

 

[Bec688]

Originally Posted by Kee /img/forum/go_quote.gif So true! I like my MUT friends way more than my real life friends and I don't care how pathetic that sounds!

That's not pathetic at all! Some of my best friends are my online friends

Kristie, I'm sorry hun. Maybe in time you guys can patch things up, what she did was very hurtful and hopefully one day she'll be able to see her wrong and apologise.

 

[Savvy_lover]

my brother and i always fight but after 5 mins we d be fine

maybe thats becoz hes still young hes 12 now . but its terrible for me to know what yoru sister did to u . i hope u d feel better soon. wtever comes along comes along . i think maybe its better for u to put that off your mind and try to od sth else first .. maybe that would make u feel better

*hugs*

 

[Maysie]

I think that having a sister is one of the most of the most complicated, and yet strong bonds you'll ever have. It's natural to feel really sad when you get into a fight/falling out with your sister, because it they're such a large part of your life, you can't imagine them not being there. That's how it is with my sister anyway. We don't talk as much as we used to, and we've had falling outs, but the good news is sometimes it just takes time for things to work out. Maybe she has something else going on in her life right now, or she needs time to mature or grow...and this time away from you will let her realize it.

ETA: Also, when I was really close to my sister and spent practically every day with her, a large amount of my identity was tied up in that relationship...when we didn't talk as much it gave me time to think about who I wanted to be, and how I wanted our relationship to be.

 

[ivette]

i'm sorry kristie

 

[makeuptard]

Originally Posted by Maysie /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think that having a sister is one of the most of the most complicated, and yet strong bonds you'll ever have. It's natural to feel really sad when you get into a fight/falling out with your sister, because it they're such a large part of your life, you can't imagine them not being there. That's how it is with my sister anyway. We don't talk as much as we used to, and we've had falling outs, but the good news is sometimes it just takes time for things to work out. Maybe she has something else going on in her life right now, or she needs time to mature or grow...and this time away from you will let her realize it.
ETA: Also, when I was really close to my sister and spent practically every day with her, a large amount of my identity was tied up in that relationship...when we didn't talk as much it gave me time to think about who I wanted to be, and how I wanted our relationship to be.

QUOTED FOR EMPHASIS
I don't know you girl but I know that whatever happened between you to, it is time for you to take the high road. Only YOU can ultimately make you happy. Even the best sister in the whole world can make a sad sister happy unless she wants to be and even the worst sister in the world can't rain on a happy girls parade for ever.

My sister and I have been on a roller coaster of life. I have wanted to kill her (sad but true) and I have wanted to hug her for hours at times. The former as a teenager and the latter after my dad died this spring*. Niether of those things happened and we are working on our relationship. I have to be very humble to not give her too much of my help (I'm younger than her but I'm a problem solver!!), I have to not treat her poorly for making decisions I dissagree with and I have to call her as much as possible and remind her that I love her so much because she forgets very EASILY!!! It's surprisingly easier now that I live on the other side of the country.. but we still have so many issues to work out (which she just wants to forget so its really hard).

You have to give and take, go with the punches and MOST IMPORTANTLY- design your own life and make your own happiness-don't rely on her but don't shut her out either. Also it's important to forgive her, for your own peace of mind and not hers, if you can find a way(maybe shes going through a phase? Maybe she got mixed up with the wrong people?). It's going to eat you up that she could be so cruel until you make peace with it(i.e. realizing that her own BS might be blocking her from the happiness and tranquility of loving a sister regardless of her fallacies)!

I think.. well there is no surefire recipe but I think that my clear up the tears a teeny bit.. I hope?

*My dad had some real problems (drugs, homelessness, etc) and didn't die in a nice way. She blamed herself but she's so good at pushing things out of her head that when I went to see her to spread his ashes; I never got the chance to really give her a real HUG just a hello one and a goodbye one. I really wish I had, but I'm trying to make up for it.

 

[fashionfaves]

So sorry to hear about your sister and her bad behavior towards you. Keep the faith!

fashionfaves

 

[makeupfreak72]

my God, i read each and every one of everyone's posts on here, and as stupid as this may sound i am actually tearing up. i am an only child BUT i do have two half brothers which i love very much, even though we are 17 and 18 years apart and they are boys, i see them maybe twice a month my sons adore them and i would do anything for them, i know it's different because we didnt really grow up together, we did live together off and on over the past 17 years and we still talk and laugh about stuff we remember when i did live with them. now i dont have any friends (yes pathetic) i dont have sisiters, i dont have a mom. i have a couple of female cousins who live very far away from me and who have their own lives, and i have one other female cousin on my mothers side who i dont think has ever really liked me (dont know why) and the sad part is that on my mothers side the only family that their is left is JUST her and me. so i guess the fact that some of you have sisters is something i really envy and it saddens me that those kinds of problems exist between sisters, i wish you all girls the best of luck and only you guys know what your going thru and the pain your going thru but before i met my husband i learned the hard way that the world is not always a nice place when you dont belong no where or belong to anybody, and when i was at my lowest...i only prayed that God would have sent me sisters or at most let me still have my mother. i cant imagine what its like to have sisters so i hope you all can work things out cuz family is family regardless. IMO

 

[SewAmazing]

There is a lot of wisdom in these posts. All of the relationships in our lives are complicated, but we win nothing by being unforgiving. Ego is going to be the end of all of us. It is healthy for us to detach, be still, and think about our intention (to be happy?) in these type of situations. Do not try to force issues. Sometimes you have to lose to win. Be proactive, and not reactive. Don't send someone a nasty gram just because they have sent you one. Many times there are other things going on behind the scenes that are not revealed to us, in the actions that people take. Remain open, positive, and optimistic. There is a lesson in that situation for you. Keep your sister in your thoughts and prayers always. It will turn around when it is supposed to.