Summer Blues*

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sigh* my boyfriend left on vacation and won't be coming back till august.

all my friends went back home for the summer, and i am so not use to having so much free time on my hands, especially now that my summer semester has ended!!

any ideas any one?

i am starting to miss him already -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> i guess cause this is my first serious relationship -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
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Ugh, I had a summer like that with my ex .... I only saw him 2 days for 3 months, and I didn't even have a job or summer classes to keep me busy! My best recommendation is to find something to keep you busy so you won't just sit around and mope and miss him, just waiting for him to get online and IM every night (like I did, lol) -- it's probably too late to find a job, but try spending more time with friends, working on any hobbies you may have, etc....

Of course my story had a sad ending: since all I did that summer was think about him, it fooled me into thinking that I loved him more than I did ... which made it even harder when he broke up with me a month after the end of the summer! Hopefully your story won't have that ending though


 

Liz

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awww. i understand how you feel chica.

you can always spend lots of time here on Mut!


 
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sorry you are so blue.You should really keep busy,go out have fun,take up a hobby,but whatever you do ,dont just stay stuck at home thinking about your bf,you will resent him if you are miserable all summer. this way when he calls you will have your own stuff to share with him instead of just hearing what a great time he is having!


 
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Originally Posted by Charmaine Gwen that is some great advice!
Thanks Charmaine
I was totally speaking from experiance on this one.When i first started dating my hubby,he lived in atlanta and i was still in newyork.I didnt keep busy so when i did speak to him we would fight cause i missed him and he was all i was thinking about.I think if i kept myself busy,things would of been so much easier.Hopefully they will be for sugarsoul,


 
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Originally Posted by nydoll23 Thanks Charmaine
I was totally speaking from experiance on this one.When i first started dating my hubby,he lived in atlanta and i was still in newyork.I didnt keep busy so when i did speak to him we would fight cause i missed him and he was all i was thinking about.I think if i kept myself busy,things would of been so much easier.Hopefully they will be for sugarsoul,
awww..thanks gwen!!!
i don't know how u went throught it! i tried going to the gym everyday and taking yoga classes every other day, but that's only in the mornings! but it's still pretty quite tho.

initally, when i heard he was going away for the summer, i was afraid it might change the relationship when he comes back.

during that time (if u don't mind me asking) ur husband being in atlanta, did it help the relationship greatly? (like, u know the saying, distance makes the heart grow fonder)

 
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Originally Posted by girl_geek Ugh, I had a summer like that with my ex .... I only saw him 2 days for 3 months, and I didn't even have a job or summer classes to keep me busy! My best recommendation is to find something to keep you busy so you won't just sit around and mope and miss him, just waiting for him to get online and IM every night (like I did, lol) -- it's probably too late to find a job, but try spending more time with friends, working on any hobbies you may have, etc....
Of course my story had a sad ending: since all I did that summer was think about him, it fooled me into thinking that I loved him more than I did ... which made it even harder when he broke up with me a month after the end of the summer! Hopefully your story won't have that ending though


if u don't mind me asking, but i was just wondering...did u see it coming tho? was he acting completely different when he got back?

 
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I am afraid I have no helpful advice for you-I´m in the same boat


I left vienna and moved out of my dorm only 3 days ago and I already hate staying with my parents in our boring home town (4000 inhabitants), with NO CAR OF MY OWN to leave *lol* I have to borrow my mum`s whenever I wanna go somewhere.

at least you live in a bigger city, right? are your friends still there for summer or did they leave town? I´d just hang out with them a lot if they´re still here. and living in a bigger city gives you way more opportunities to do something fun. or do you have any relatives living close you could visit?

hope you don´t miss your boyfriend too much sweetie!!!!! I´m sure he misses you too :icon_love

 
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Originally Posted by sugersoul awww..thanks gwen!!!
i don't know how u went throught it! i tried going to the gym everyday and taking yoga classes every other day, but that's only in the mornings! but it's still pretty quite tho.

initally, when i heard he was going away for the summer, i was afraid it might change the relationship when he comes back.

during that time (if u don't mind me asking) ur husband being in atlanta, did it help the relationship greatly? (like, u know the saying, distance makes the heart grow fonder)




Well did the distance make us closer,hmmm well lets just say ,i was pregnant very shortly after we got back together,lololol.I definetly think it made us closer because when your not near someone all the time,you will know if you really love them or not.I think you guys will be fine,there is only like two months left of summer.Just try to make this time for you,hes in your heart so he's not going anywhere as you are in his!
Best thing to do is be positive,its also a great way for him to see that his girl is independent and will not fall apart when hes not around,guys dont want a girl that depends on them and cannot have a life of their own,there should be a balance.


You are going to be fine,we are here for you!!!Mut is always here when i need it !


 
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Originally Posted by sugersoul if u don't mind me asking, but i was just wondering...did u see it coming tho? was he acting completely different when he got back?

I did notice a few slight changes but at the time I didn't want to think about breaking up with him so I just ignored it ... it was my first serious relationship and I had fairly low self-confidence at the time, and I know in the back of my mind I was thinking "if he breaks up with me I'll never find another guy that will like me!" so I was just trying to ignore the warning signs!
But to answer your question, he wasn't acting "completely different" though! Just a little less interested maybe ...
Fortunately I was able to overcome those issues and was much more self-confident when I met hubby ... so I knew I was marrying because I loved him and not because I was just desperate for a relationship! lol

 
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Maybe I'm just a geek, but when I get bored I go to the library, hang out at all the museums on their free days, check out all the free concerts symphony opera, etc, go to the various fairs and festivals. That way I'm out in public and with people, and I can ask my friends to go along too, but those sorts of events aren't really normal pick-up places so your relationship won't be threatened by other guys flirting like at bars or clubs.

 
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Originally Posted by nydoll23 Well did the distance make us closer,hmmm well lets just say ,i was pregnant very shortly after we got back together,lololol.I definetly think it made us closer because when your not near someone all the time,you will know if you really love them or not.I think you guys will be fine,there is only like two months left of summer.Just try to make this time for you,hes in your heart so he's not going anywhere as you are in his!
Best thing to do is be positive,its also a great way for him to see that his girl is independent and will not fall apart when hes not around,guys dont want a girl that depends on them and cannot have a life of their own,there should be a balance.
You are going to be fine,we are here for you!!!Mut is always here when i need it !


thats so sweet !!!
it just kills me whenever i talked to him on the phone. especially when he told me that this girl asked him if he ever thought of cheating while flirting with him! (they were having a casual convo while sitting next to each other on the plane).
and i was trying my best not to turn into the green eyed monster. but i think i handled that phone call gracefully.

 
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Originally Posted by suzukigrrl Maybe I'm just a geek, but when I get bored I go to the library, hang out at all the museums on their free days, check out all the free concerts symphony opera, etc, go to the various fairs and festivals. That way I'm out in public and with people, and I can ask my friends to go along too, but those sorts of events aren't really normal pick-up places so your relationship won't be threatened by other guys flirting like at bars or clubs. that's a great idea. i live a few minutes away from campus i am planning to go to the library and actually read books that i am interested in, instead of the ones i cram for during finals
i always leave the tv on now so i won't be so lonely.
what isn't so great is that all my friends have officially left for vacation as of today -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />|| i have never been alone before, i always have my friends by myside or my bf. i need to get use to it!

 
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Originally Posted by sugersoul what isn't so great is that all my friends have officially left for vacation as of today -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />|| i have never been alone before, i always have my friends by myside or my bf. i need to get use to it! Instead of looking at this time away from your bf as a negative, look at it as a positive. You could go out and meet new people and do new things that you normally wouldn't do when your friends and bf are around. You could go to the movies, go to museums, finally read that book that you have been wanting to read, etc. WHen your bf and friends come back, you can talk to them about all the cool things you did this summer. I think that would make you feel better and it would sure help the time go by faster.
 
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Originally Posted by sugersoul that's a great idea. i live a few minutes away from campus i am planning to go to the library and actually read books that i am interested in, instead of the ones i cram for during finals
i always leave the tv on now so i won't be so lonely.
what isn't so great is that all my friends have officially left for vacation as of today -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />|| i have never been alone before, i always have my friends by myside or my bf. i need to get use to it!

Create your own vacation! Sometimes I like to take a day off and go out to the Bay with a book and a picnic. Sometimes I head out to the ocean or the tourist places in San Francisco. Or maybe you could spend a day at a spa? There are a lot of fun things you can do all by yourself!
 
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Great tips!! I know how you feel Suger - sometimes you're so used to being around someone that when they're gone... you don't know what to do with yourself! lol Thats usually what happens if you are in a close relationship with someone, and you forget that you are 2 different people, and that you did things without him before you met him... but you tend to forget that side of yourself when everything you do is done as a couple. You should try things you've always wanted to do, but maybe didnt because he wouldn't want to participate, or maybe do the things you used to before he came into your life. It will get easier once you get into a new 'routine' that isn't involving him 24/7... and when he comes back - the independence you have will help keep your relationship 'fresh' - and you'll get back the person that slowly disappeared when YOU became a WE.


 
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Originally Posted by NYAngel98 Great tips!! I know how you feel Suger - sometimes you're so used to being around someone that when they're gone... you don't know what to do with yourself! lol Thats usually what happens if you are in a close relationship with someone, and you forget that you are 2 different people, and that you did things without him before you met him... but you tend to forget that side of yourself when everything you do is done as a couple. You should try things you've always wanted to do, but maybe didnt because he wouldn't want to participate, or maybe do the things you used to before he came into your life. It will get easier once you get into a new 'routine' that isn't involving him 24/7... and when he comes back - the independence you have will help keep your relationship 'fresh' - and you'll get back the person that slowly disappeared when YOU became a WE.
yeah i guess it would keep the relationship 'fresh'
i just didnt know i was so use to seeing him all the time! every time i get off the phone with him, i miss him even more! thanks for the support tho
u'll be seeing me around at MUT alot!!

 

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