Ugh What is wrong with me?!

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SoI was at a meeting with my boss and the topic came up on my resume. She basically said it was crap. Keep in mind I already work here.

Ok, I could see how that was building up, the formatting on photoshop was kinda screwy and it was getting pixelated. But she started going on about how the graphics don't work and that the over all design is just a failure. I was pretty bothered to hear this (as criticizing me in public is a means to an end). I put a lot of work into its design and I took several classes on design components for my portfolio, including my resume. I passed all those classes and it seemed to work. I just graduated from college and this experience has opened up things in my mind that have made me feel totally lost.

As teenage angst-ish as this is gonna sound, I feel like I people are constantly trying to crush me into a mold. A lot of people seem to think that I want to get involved with "corporate culture" and should mold myself to fit accordingly. I get comments on my appearance (dark blue hair) and all sorts of other things and it really frustrates me. I honestly don't know what to do. It feels like every step I take is in the wrong direction and I need to know if I am flogging my own back or if I'm not taking responsibility for something. I can't change everything about the way I am, I've already made sooo many compromises and now i just don't know what to think. If I do one thing, someone will like it and someone will hate it. I know I shouldn't care that much about what others think, but it seems like I can't even find a middle ground! How do I help people to understand that I don't want to work for some huge corporation and and represent THEIR image for the rest of my life? I haha I hope this makes sense and I feel so much better just typing this all out. So yeah, anything to bring me back down to earth would be much appreciated.

 
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maybe you could find work at a smaller company that is more 'grass roots'ish and less corporate?

I assume you have some kind of graphics design job.. Basically I see things from both sides. While I don't think you should compromise yourr sense of self past the point where you feel comfortable, you have to be aware that in a really heavily corporate environment, there are 'rules' I guess and things like the blue hair are going to make you stand out in a physical way which makes you an easy target for other types of attention. It shouldn't be the case but in my experience it is.

All I can recommend is to either suck it up and take it and be realistic that in the type of workplace you are at, there are certain things that you need to do to get ahead, OR, pack it in, find a place that suits your personality and style more, who will appreciate what your individuality can offer them in terms of creativity.

Good luck chicken! It really sucks to have to recreate yourself just because your colleagues dont 'get' you - it really all depends on how far you're willing to compromise your individuality for work experience, good money or whatever. Let us know what happens


 
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Originally Posted by pinksugar /img/forum/go_quote.gif maybe you could find work at a smaller company that is more 'grass roots'ish and less corporate?
I assume you have some kind of graphics design job.. Basically I see things from both sides. While I don't think you should compromise yourr sense of self past the point where you feel comfortable, you have to be aware that in a really heavily corporate environment, there are 'rules' I guess and things like the blue hair are going to make you stand out in a physical way which makes you an easy target for other types of attention. It shouldn't be the case but in my experience it is.

All I can recommend is to either suck it up and take it and be realistic that in the type of workplace you are at, there are certain things that you need to do to get ahead, OR, pack it in, find a place that suits your personality and style more, who will appreciate what your individuality can offer them in terms of creativity.

Good luck chicken! It really sucks to have to recreate yourself just because your colleagues dont 'get' you - it really all depends on how far you're willing to compromise your individuality for work experience, good money or whatever. Let us know what happens


Thats a very fair assessment, and its something that I've been thinking about for quite some time. I understand that there are certain things that I need to look out for, but I like no matter what I do its never enough. Compared to a lot of my friends are am soo mild haha and I just don't know what is left to do other than dye my hair black and get a whole new wardrobe? My main thing is that I don't want a corporate job. I want to work within the arts or recreations. Its people that assume that I want a corporate job or insist thats whats best for me that gets my panties in a bunch. I dunno I guess I do have to make myself more "accessible" someday, but I'll try to stick it out as long as possible without doing so. Thanks a bunch for your words of wisdom
 
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