I ran across this article today. Kindly Read this and Gimme your thoughts opinions etc Studies have shown that eighty percent, of all males and females, fit into standard categories of strengths and weaknesses. Thus, it is comfortable, convenient, and or best fits their abilities for them to follow traditional teachings for their roles. If where you are within the eighty percent bracket, this article may not be for you. Though, if you are in the other twenty percent category, likely, your mate will be too. In such cases, a marriage works much better when couples stop trying to fill standard expectations and carry the roles God best equipped each for. However God created you; He did not make a mistake. Having once experienced an abusive marriage and another kind of abuse in the church, thought to be the wrong gender to serve God, I had great need to 'know' God's intent for submission and obedience. First, in an abusive relationship, obeying means things like ~ if you open a two liter of pop while the mate it away, some of the fiz could possibly fizzle out and who knew that would make them angry!? Though, you can expect to find yourself curled into a corner, in the fetal position, protecting as many body parts as possible And, when the church tells wives to obey, the message is that this is what God is like. Then, when God's calling was contrary to authority's acceptance, it would eat at my soul. God did not stop calling, as He did not change His mind (Ro. 11:29). To hear the cries of others in need and to not be able to do anything about it was as much torment as being held captive/prisoner â€¦ sometimes, like it was happening to me all over again. I had great need to 'know' and as a result of that search, these are among my findings. In cases of submission ... "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God," Ep. 5:21. "I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the house of Stephanas, that it is the firstfruits of Achaia, and that they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints,) That ye submit yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and laboureth," I Co. 16:15-16. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord," Co. 3:18. We are all called to submission, one to another, to husbands; to everyone that helps and labors for God, regardless of gender. Being that it is impossible to obey everyone at the same time, we can conclude that to submit is not necessarily to obey. For, if the husband were submitting to one another, in theory, he would also have to obey his wife. Since that is not a supported doctrine, either the above verses are in error or we misunderstood the meaning of submitting. As I have found submission to mean, it is to listen to the need of another's heart. Then, whenever it becomes necessary to alter my plan in order to meet their need, their true need should come first. In such, we should all be healers of one another's soul; including our mate's. We are to be willing vessels, allowing the love of God to flow through us as often as God shows us a need. People's wants and needs are different. We can know which is a true need by following God's example. Listen not to one's words but to the cry of their heart. Our want should step out of the way for another's 'need'. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Co. 3:18. Whatever you believe the word 'submit' means, consider this; "Wives, submit yourselves ... as it is fit in the Lord." Co. 3:18. Notice the verse does not say, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, or you are not fit in the Lord." It says to submit to the extent it "is fit in the Lord." So, if one's husband requests them to sleep with another man, is it fit in the Lord? Of course not. So herein is, at the very least, is an example of exception. Obedience â€¦ What we are to 'obey' is spiritual leadership (whether one calls it submission or by another name). When someone is spiritually leading, we will be able to hear the Spirit and know that is God, it is Him speaking and it is fit in Him, as the Spirit can not lie. In such cases, we are not worshipping our husband. Our submission is to the Lord. The same would be true, whomever the Lord is speaking through. When the Spirit touches our spirit, it is God. (Though, if we quench the Spirit before He has had a chance to speak, we might miss God's best.) So, if that be the case, what could the following verses mean? "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church," Ep. 5:31-32. Paul just said he was referring to Christ and the church. Theologians agree. A Great Mystery ... A Bishop is to be a husbandman, married to his church; just like Christ is married to the church. In turn, a church (as a wife) is to submit to the leading and or needs of their Bishop; to the extent it is fit in the Lord. As one researches the word 'woman', scripture gives it several additional symbolic meanings. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them," Ge. 1:27. "Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created," Ge. 5:2. Male and female were called Adam; not Eve, not woman. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus," Ga. 3:28. "That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another," Co. 12:25. Often, when we are reading of husbands and wives, it is in reference to the church. Either we believe that, or we believe the Bible contradicts. God is no respecter of persons. And when we are told that He is, it does not come from God. Whenever we follow anyone contrary to God's leading, we have become a sinful Adam (male or female); whose choice became other than God. However, that is not to say we quarrel and fight. For, God is able to show us when our wants are in error, just as He is able to speak to our mates. Only when God calls us to take a stand contrary to our mates are we to stand in the right way and for the right reason; striving to live peaceably (as with all men) but letting God be our only god. And, in following God, He will teach us how to stand in the Spirit. Therein, others can also know it is truth. But in the case where a mate is not interested in things of God, we have been made bishops of our own souls; with our own accountability to God. Whatever it be, God will guide our every step. Eve was the mother of all living. Paul referred to himself as a spiritual father. "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female," Mt. 19:4. Since mothers and fathers (spiritual teachers) can not get it right ... "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?" Mt. 19:5. "It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God," John 6:45. "I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one," John 17:23. "For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men," I Co. 6:20; 7:23. "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free," John 8:32. "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." John 8:36. "But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life," Ro. 6:22. "For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit," I Co. 12:13. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus," Ga. 3:28. "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage," Ga. 5:1. "As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God," I Pe. 2:16. "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth," II Ti. 2:15. Do we believe God or teachings of men? God word does not contradict.