What is worse: Emotional or Physical Affair Betrayal?

[Chaeli]

Originally Posted by MakeupByMe /img/forum/go_quote.gif Both Are unforgiveable IMHO !! BUT Sex Is Worse to me Because If I am with some one and to me everything seems fine even the sex & He's out there sleepin around First thing that pops into MY head is not "Oh its just sex" its "Oh Hell No This A****** Better not have gave me no DISEASE" Sex is practically emotional cheating anyways UNLESS They just had sex never said words , never looed in eachothers eyes & Never hugged or anything afterwards.................(I doubt that happened) So Thats why I see them both just as bad!!! Besides If they stray once they'll stray twice & So on..............Only maybe they'll be better at hiding it Next time!!!!!!!!! Exactly. And is why I just can't understand the people that believe having sex with someone is less than sharing a cup of coffee. Almost all physical relationships begin with the emotional affair in some way unless they just happened in a bar with a total stranger in which case, who would want to be with someone like that to begin with! I'm right there with you on this one.

 

[Maysie]

Well I think physical betrayal is worse because you would continue to play that image in your mind over and over again. I doubt that I would be able to get over the idea of my husband having sex with anyone else. Emotional betrayal would be painful, absolutely, and potentially unforgivable-it would just depend on how long it had been happening, and if my partner was open to working it out and building the trust back up.

 

[pinksugar]

I absolutely disagree that someone who has cheated once will continue to cheat on that partner and/or cheat on other partners in the future.

That's a massive generalization and there are way too many factors that need to be taken into account to make a statement like that - why the person cheated, whether alcohol was involved, what lead up to the incident, whether or not the cheater feels they are in some way 'justified' in their behaviour - not all cheaters 'recheat':

I have cheated on a partner and I would not do it again, I don't think that this makes me a 'serial' cheater, there were very specific circumstances that led to that behaviour.

 

[Orangeeyecrayon]

I just got out of a relationship where i was cheated on. i think emotional is worse. he ended up dumping me so he could be with her. for me the hardest part has not been that he did stuff with another woman, but that he had feelings for her but thought it was okay to still be with me. And the fact that i dont know for how long he had feelings for her so it ended up making the entire relationship feel like a lie

 

[MakeupByMe]

As Sad as those stories are I hear em all the time The girl gets cheated on & boo hoo its sad But than HE Leaves her for the other girl & Now its REALLY Sad But I see it as a blessing I never understood Why anyone would still want a man to be with them after hes cheated Its like being okay & lying to Yourself!!!!

 

[Orangeeyecrayon]

I can awnswer why for the female it is so hard to deal with at least for me. I do not in any way want my ex-boyfriend back at all. But at first i did before i found out that he had been cheating on me. And i did not want him back once i found out but it was more a feeling of shock. For me everything had seemed like it was going amazingly and than he ended things out of the blue his reason was "the distance was to hard and he wanted to be single."

I think a lot of time with these cases the female does not realize that the man has slowly been moving on so when the breakup does happen it is not only a shock but confusing for the female because the guy moved on a long time ago. (i supose it could also be the other way around if it was teh female in teh relationship that was cheating)

Also i know when i say it is upseting i am not refering to not being with the guy anymore. IT is upsetting to feel like however long you put in the relationship, with however much effort was not reciprocated at all. I was in a year an a half relationship and i know when it happened to me i was not only confused and shocked. But i also felt like i was used and that he never really loved me at all. Even if you dont want to be with someone you do want to think that there were at least some good times.

 

[Chaeli]

I don't believe for a second they think the person they cheated with is better in any way. They lower their own standards once they have betrayed. I've been in several long term relationships. The last one for four years. We were just days away from our wedding date when they told me they had had sex with a fellow worker but that's all it was. Unbelievable. It meant nothing to them. I meant even less than nothing is all that told me. I loved them more than anything at that time. I could not lower my own standards and made them leave and today I am happier than I've ever been and with someone I absolutely adore and has my own standards set for themselves.

 

[Sexy Sadie]

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif And why? I thought they were both pretty bad and typically emotional affairs then in turn lead to physical affairs but both go down as unforgivable in my book. Well, for me this is actually quite easy.
My boyfriend fantasising of making love to another woman when he is with me is the worst betrayal. A shag when drunk can happen to everybody.

 

[xqwizet71]

I was actually in this position not too long ago. My fiance was having an "emotional affair" with a girl at work. It broke my heart. He couldn't just let her go. Emotional is harder for me to forgive IMO.

 

[Thugluvgrl187]

Physical would get me. I am not trying to get any diseases.Thank goodness I have never had to deal with this.