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- Feb 2, 2010
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I am leaving home for the second time in a couple of days and I cannot stop crying about it. I feel so pathetic, I am 28 years old for Christ sake. I am wondering if I am doing the right thing if I feel this way. I am pretty close to my Mum and I am going to miss her terribly. It's nice to be under the same roof as her and it's not because of the financial gain from it or the housework I get to dodge, believe me I pull my weight in both instances. It's nice to be taken care of, a hug when I need it a shoulder to cry on. Yes I can get that from Clinton but it's not the same as from my Mother. Didn't help my Mum was crying when she went to bed tonight because I am leaving. That set me off.
I think it maybe because I am getting older and its mandatory I leave and I don't feel ready and I fear I may never will. I used to scoff at People who stayed at Home when they were 30, I am fast becoming one of them.
My Mother re-shacked up with the Man who sexually abused me when I was a Child and everyone including my Clinical Psychiatrist say I need to get out of there, it's not healthy and everyone around me is worried for me.
I am getting married next year to someone who worships the ground I walk on yet I'm not excited about it.
I suffer from Depression deeply and I am having tests done for borderline personality disorder (Bipolar essentially). I wonder if this has something to do with it.
Tomorrow night is my last night here and it's going to be hell leaving on Thursday. I don't know if I can bring myself to leave.
Any insights?
I am sorry if this seems all over the place, am very tired and puffy eyed from crying.
I think it maybe because I am getting older and its mandatory I leave and I don't feel ready and I fear I may never will. I used to scoff at People who stayed at Home when they were 30, I am fast becoming one of them.
My Mother re-shacked up with the Man who sexually abused me when I was a Child and everyone including my Clinical Psychiatrist say I need to get out of there, it's not healthy and everyone around me is worried for me.
I am getting married next year to someone who worships the ground I walk on yet I'm not excited about it.
I suffer from Depression deeply and I am having tests done for borderline personality disorder (Bipolar essentially). I wonder if this has something to do with it.
Tomorrow night is my last night here and it's going to be hell leaving on Thursday. I don't know if I can bring myself to leave.
Any insights?
I am sorry if this seems all over the place, am very tired and puffy eyed from crying.