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Worst Dates

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Feb 17, 2004
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Thought you had a bad date? Check out these

"worst date" stories found online.

Introducing: Fart Boy

#1. I was really looking forward to a date with this great looking guy who had a terrific personality. When we finally hooked up, it was to go to a mutual friend's wedding -- a very romantic first date.The ceremony was beautiful, but just as the church became silent and the bride was about to say, "I do", my gorgeous date let out the biggest, loudest (brace yourself) fart in the world!

Introducing: Mamma's Boy

#2. One date showed up at my door one hour late. I was watching TV while waiting for him. When he finally arrived, he sat down on a chair in my living room, bent his head over and fell asleep! We were supposed to go out to dinner, and I was getting very hungry. When I nudged him awake and asked him about dinner, he said, "Oh, Mom made me dinner before I left. I didn't have the heart to tell her I had plans."

Introducing: Stoner/ Drunkard/ Poker Boy

#3. We sat at the bar before we got our table and he guzzled two martinis before we even sat down. During dinner he kept leaving the table to "smoke." I found out later that he was smoking pot! Then the date got worse. He continued to gulp down his drinks and get very, very loud. The capper of the evening was when he asked me if I'd like a "poke." I thought I had heard wrong, so I said, "Excuse me?" He repeated his request and then said he'd pay me for it! This was beyond insulting, so I left to see if there was a window in the ladies room by which I could escape. No such luck. When got back, however, he was off on one of his "smoke breaks," so I had time to plan a hasty exit.

Introducing: Troubled, Kinky Boy

#4. We settled down on the couch with glasses of wine, and he said, "I have been a bad boy." I thought to myself, "No, he can't mean what I think he means." So I asked him what he was talking about. Wow, was I in for the shock of my life! He said, "I've been wearing these all day," stood up, dropped his pants and revealed a garter belt, stockings and ladies' panties! To top things off, he then said, "I need to be spanked." I was laughing so hard I couldn't get the door opened fast enough for him to leave!

Introducing: Screw Loose Boy

#5. This date went from bad to worse, very quickly. Our plan was to get a cup of coffee after work. He picked me up at my house, only to say that he needed to go to his place to change clothes. The entire drive over to his house he kept trying to sell me his car! Then, when we got to his house, he opened his truck and proceeded to hand me heavy pieces of an entertainment center and asked me to carry them into his house. Then, just when I thought the date couldn't possibly get any worse, he changed clothes. He changed from perfectly acceptable slacksand a button down shirt to frosted blue jean cut-off shorts, high tops, a white T-shirt with a big American flag across the front, a Twins baseball cap and a black leather fanny pack. And then it got even worse! At the coffee shop he kept saying that he wanted to climb in my hair like Rapunzel's. After one cup of decaf coffee, I had to leave. And to top off the whole evening <NOBR>--</NOBR> he let me pay the bill.

Introducing: Cheap and Ditched Boy

#6. So, this guy that I've been dying to go out with finally asks me to a movie. We go to the theater, wait in line, and, when it was our turn, he goes up to the booth to buy (what I thought were) our tickets. Imagine my surprise, when he came back and said, "Okay, you can go get yours now." What? Are you kidding me? Fortunately, I had the good sense to stop by the ATM on the way to meet this guy. You know, in case I needed it for an emergency. This was an emergency. Then, just as the flick was starting, he said that he was going to get popcorn and a drink. After about 10 minutes, I lookeddown from the screen and saw a familiar head sitting a few rows in front of me. It was him. He had come back to the wrong row! It was bad enough to be sitting there in the dark, watching him look around for me, but when I saw that he'd only returned with one popcorn and one drink, I got up and walked out.

Introducing: Zit Boy

# 7. was having lunch with a guy I had been seeing for a while. In the middle of our meal, he rolled up his shirtsleeve and started popping the zits that were on his shoulder, as if he were in his own bathroom! I asked him what he was doing and he asked me to help him! Let's just say I booked, and finished the rest of my lunch at the office.

Introducing: Macabre, Goth, Miserable Boy

# 8. I went to a very nice steak house with a man I met at the movies. Conversation started out light, but then something seemed to make him sad, and I couldn't imagine what it was. The only bad thing that had happened on our date was that our waitress spilled a little glass of water. He started talking about how difficult his childhood was, making dark elliptical statements and calling his mother "cruel." All of this from a 50-year-old man! Then, after bragging about "finally getting his parents into therapy," my date started asking how Isurvived my husband's death. Before I knew it, I was in tears.

It was already the most depressing date of my life, and then the waitress brought the check. My gloomy date took one look and said, "I believe in equality. Let's split the bill." No longer depressing, the night was downright horrid.