Connecticut Elementary School Shooting

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I'm sorry to hear that, zadidoll. I hope she can recover, and that her family can too. That said, if a person is seriously set on killing themselves, no amount of intervention or familial interaction is going to stop them. I'm very emotionally attached to the way this thread turned out, so before I get too involved I think I'm going to exit this thread.

I do hope anyone with family members involved in the CT shooting are able to grieve and see hope in the future.

 
Selfish or not, a suicidal person is under duress, feeling utterly alone and alienated. Imagine the extreme anguish and despair a person feels that would drive them to that extreme. Everyone has low moments in their lives, that's natural. We're human, we have emotions. But to feel or rationalize that suicide is an answer, signals a very deep level of personal suffering and torture for that person, whether it's imagined, real, or derived from a mental health related issue. Most often, these people send signals, but if they're not obvious, they can be missed. Women are 10x more likely to attempt suicide, but men are usually more successful because they choose more direct and violent means, like a loaded gun vs a bottle of pills.

 
According to the text message my husband got her her aunt - my friend - "S" family was aware of her intention to commit suicide and they were frantically trying to find her that day but couldn't. They did have the police out looking for her quietly because her father's connections to police and SWAT (again he's a former police detective) but they got to her too late. "S" is in her mid-20s and recently went from a long term relationship to being single. Did that play any part of her mental break? I don't know. No one but "S" does. Mental breaks can happen for some in an instant - if you've never dealt with someone with bi-polar disorder, which she has, then you won't understand how a person can go from being happy to being sad to being in a rage almost instantly. It's very complicated and to put the blame on her family isn't fair because they have for years tried to get her help but as an adult there is NOTHING ANYONE can do until it's too late.
I don't know all the details, nor will I pretend to have all the answers. I wasn't trying to blame the family. Adults are adults and can do what they want. It's sad that some people deal with things in such a way. I was mostly referring to young children. I had no idea how old your friend's niece was at the time I wrote that. I just think there are a lot of unnecessary child suicides. I've had feelings of depression and suicide mostly when I was a teen. I think that's normal to think things like that when things are rough. But that also means I realized that wasn't an answer. I just think a lot of child suicides could be prevented if parents were more aware of struggles that their children were going through.
 
Originally Posted by zadidoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif

My best friend's niece attempted suicide this past weekend. When I head about what happened to her I immediately thought of Adam Lanza because "S" could very well have been Adam Lanza. Her father's home is full of guns in his gun safe but obviously she had access to those guns and ammunition. She could have very easily taken the lives of her mother and father along with her sister and nephew as well as her brother. "S" took the gun and went to a local bridge that's one of three bridges in my area that connects the cities together. The one she choose to shoot herself on has the most traffic with thousands of people passing on it per hour. She shot herself at that bridge but she very easily could have taken her father's assault rifles and killed countless people on that bridge. If you're wondering why her father has has assault rifles - he's a former police detective and currently works for the military as a government contractor. She's still alive, I haven't heard any updates this morning, but in critical condition in ICU. There's still the chance her suicide attempt will succeed but either way her family and friends have to live with her actions.

I really do think that it's our mental health system - or lack of one - that needs to be fixed not gun control regulation.
Zadi I am very sorry for your friends niece and her family. It is so very sad. Hopefully she will be ok and she can get the help she needs.

I also carry the belief that suicide is a selfish but hopeless act. For that one moment they don't care about anyone else but themselves. Most people are driven to it out of hopelessness for some reason or another, whether that is caused by mental illness or just terrible life circumstances. I also believe that if someone wants to be successful at suicide they will be. Most teens that do it are expressing a cry for help. All people should be taken care of mentally and physically. I believe this is a basic human right.

Having said that I still do not waver on gun control. Semi-automatic, automatic and customized weapons (banana clips, etc) shouldn't be in the hands of everyday citizens. No one needs an auto or semi-auto weapon to go hunting. People that do have access to these items for military reasons have the responsibility to keep it locked up and unavailable to random citizens. I am not naive to think gun control will stop murders or other violent acts. It will help though and I am of the opinion that we do need to make changes for the future generations now.

 
As far as child or teen suicides, these are human beings still developing and growing, still learning things. A parent can hover, pry, be as involved as possible and it may not be enough. My first funeral I attended was at the age of 15, a friend committed suicide. My next brush with death was learning an older classmate who seemingly was pegged as the local "golden boy" with a promising future, high school sweetheart and a great life ahead killed himself, as well. I worked in hospice care and took care of terminally ill people of all ages who wanted to "speed" up the process and opt for death with dignity instead of wasting away. It's a deep and sticky topic,touching on moral and personal levels. 

Regarding the CT shooting/mass killings, more details will unfold and people will use this incident like every other mass muder spree to sensationalize and/or politicize it. The real story and most important fact is that there are families and friends who have lost loved ones and regardless of the outcome, justice is never going to be done. Laws may be passed, people will throw their opinions around, but these people still live the rest of their lives without their children, family members, and friends. A person, a single person, took it upon himself to destroy so many lives and inflict a lot of pain, suffering and damage upon many. Whatever tools or weapons used is trivial in the grand scheme. His name will be remembered, but chances are the victims' won't. They'll be known as the CT school shooting massacre or by the number of slain, but they're actual names will probably only be remembered by their loved ones left behind. This murderer will serve to inspire or inflame some future murderer to "top" the destruction played out in CT. 

 
Originally Posted by MissLindaJean /img/forum/go_quote.gif His name will be remembered, but chances are the victims' won't. They'll be known as the CT school shooting massacre or by the number of slain, but they're actual names will probably only be remembered by their loved ones left behind. This murderer will serve to inspire or inflame some future murderer to "top" the destruction played out in CT. 
This is so true and very saddening.

 
Originally Posted by parisnicole1989 /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I don't know all the details, nor will I pretend to have all the answers. I wasn't trying to blame the family. Adults are adults and can do what they want. It's sad that some people deal with things in such a way. I was mostly referring to young children. I had no idea how old your friend's niece was at the time I wrote that. I just think there are a lot of unnecessary child suicides. I've had feelings of depression and suicide mostly when I was a teen. I think that's normal to think things like that when things are rough. But that also means I realized that wasn't an answer. I just think a lot of child suicides could be prevented if parents were more aware of struggles that their children were going through.
I know you weren't placing blame but unfortunately society typically does. Look at the media with Adam Lanza's mother. They're now essentially blaming her because she had guns - legally purchased as far as anyone knows at this time. The sad fact is that any situation such as this is far more complicated than any simple solution. Everything has repercussions and even being locked up in a mental hospital may not help.

I remember a year or so ago - maybe it was this year - a man who was locked up in a mental hospital some how or another escaped custody. He went on to kill another person (I think a state trooper or sheriff deputy, anyone in WA remember this?) while he was on the run. When caught he was returned to the mental hospital instead of jail because he was already legally declared insane. I remember the news reporting how the nurses at the mental hospital are afraid of him because he's THAT dangerous. But what can be done other than what has been done? Like I said, it's just so complicated.

I do agree with suicides with teens that parent involvement can prevent some but a person who is committed to doing it WILL find a way. Even if a person is custody they can still find a way commit suicide.

Has anyone heard of the ONLY survivor of the shooting? A little girl in the first grade said she played dead to avoid being killed and when the police found her she was covered head to toe in blood. I remember the news originally saying an officer carried out a child and am wondering if it was her. I can't imagine her terror and the horror or even the psychological damage done that she will have to live with for the rest of her life.

 
Has anyone heard of the ONLY survivor of the shooting? A little girl in the first grade said she played dead to avoid being killed and when the police found her she was covered head to toe in blood. I remember the news originally saying an officer carried out a child and am wondering if it was her. I can't imagine her terror and the horror or even the psychological damage done that she will have to live with for the rest of her life.
You brought up some good points, but this is absolutely sickening. Eugh part of me wishes the monster was still alive so he could be tortured. Eugh so despicable.
 
This situation is terrifying.

My mom is currently on her way there as part of a mental health emergency team.

I hope she can help the families & children there recover.

 
Originally Posted by parisnicole1989 /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Drugs fix symptoms not the cause of mental disorders. 
Things like this make me furious. Mental disorders are a physical problem. Drugs fix chemical imbalances. It's not something that's "all in someone's head", that they can just control if they feel like it, and this kind of mentality is what keeps a lot of people from seeking treatment. 

 
Keeping everyone in my thoughts. No matter what my opinions are about gun control and reform, I'd really just like for this terrible tragedy not to become political.

 
Originally Posted by thewendyyybird /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Keeping everyone in my thoughts. No matter what my opinions are about gun control and reform, I'd really just like for this terrible tragedy not to become political.
Agree. 

 
Originally Posted by thewendyyybird /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Keeping everyone in my thoughts. No matter what my opinions are about gun control and reform, I'd really just like for this terrible tragedy not to become political.
THIS.

 
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