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5yrs and hes 35 and doesnt want to commit anytime soon? wow. I just think like the others have said already that you 2 are at different points in your life. I he doesnt seem like he wants to commit kinda like a "toxic bachelor" on sex and the city. I think you should find someone who at the same place in life as you are. :( /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
I hope I don't offend you, but when I first read it, my first thought was that he didn't think you were the ONE. I find it hard to believe that he can be with you for that long and not see you as someone he'll be married to and start a family with (thus the reason why he doesn't know)! And come on, he's 35, he isn't exactly at that partying age anymore.

I say, talk to him and just ask him point blank if he can see you guys married in the future. If he can't answer, then it's time to move on.

 
i'm neutra--l i honestly don't know what to say

if i were in your situation i'd walk out because i'm not getting what i want and i'm the type of person who is quite focused on getting what she wants

but i can't say what YOU should do

that depends on what kind of person YOU are and what your gut tells you...listen to that 'cause thats the best thing to do

 
Well I know how you feel, I wasted quite a few years on a MUCH older man that was happy the way things were and we had an on and off again relationship for several years... It might be time to cut your losses and move on.... I will be thinking about you.

 
Girls...thank you for all the advice. i am happy to say that as of last week, my BF and i have broken up. I have not talked to or seen him since last Monday (Jan 15th). We had our "final talk" and i basically put everything out there. i told him how much i cared about him and really thought that he was the one...but, he couldn't give me anything. he kept saying that he couldn't give me an answer and that he didn't want to hurt me. what did that mean to me? it meant that 1) either he's not the marrying type, or 2) i'm just not the one. i guess it's plain and simple when you step back and think about everything. if you cant' make a commitment to someone you've been with for 5 years, the truth is, it's never gonna happen.

SO, am i sad and disappointed? of course...but hey, i'm a pretty optimistic person. i think everything happens for a reason and maybe we're just not meant to be. i'm a true believer of that. so, i've been spending a lot of free time with friends, talking to them, kinda coming to terms with everything. it's hard to spend 5 years with someone and all of a sudden losing it. he was in almost every aspect of my life. but i think doing it now is better than doing it 5 or 10 years later. i know that someone better will come along. i put in 100% in our relationship so i know at least i won't end up being the one who regrets it ;) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

btw...did you guys see my signature? after my breakup, a really good friend said this to me...and it just totally hit home and made everything crystal clear! :D /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
Thanks so much for updating! It seems like you are really doing all right and going to have lots of fun now. I love your signature by the way, its so true.

 
I'm proud of you. What a tough step to take. You spent a good chunk of your life with Mr. Maybe, let's hope that you can find your Mr. Right.

 
i wish you the best i know it isnt easy to breakup with someone you have loved and been with for 5 years **Hugs** to you

 
thank you girls so much for the support and encouragement. it was very very difficult. there have been moments when i really wanted to call him or see him, but i knew that would just lead me back to where i started which is not where i want to be...there are times when i feel so depressed and lonely, and just wonder why me. but i eventually snap out of it and realize that i have family and plenty of great friends around me...that really helps me get through those rough moments....A BIG HUG TO EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT AND WELL WISHES...it's exactly what i need at a time like this...:hug:

 
*HUG* I hope you continue to feel better. It sounds like you really have the right mindset about this and you sound like you're handling it all really well. Even though it's tough, sometimes a resolution makes things a little easier. Thanks for updating us! :7dh: :hugss:

 
I'm also proud of you for taking such a scary step. I mean, 35 isnt exactly a youngin' any more. At some point you have to mature, and it sounds like you were way ahead of him in that department.

I know you will find the right person and you'll look back and smile about this because you know you made the right choice. You go girl!

Good luck with everything, it can only get better from here!

 
I'm so proud of you! It's good that you are spending time with family and friends. That's exactly what you need!

 
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