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agdm22

Should I let my daughter wear makeup?

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I have a 14 (almost 15) year old daughter who is starting to show an interest in wearing makeup. She is very responsible. I've noticed that a lot of her friends wear makeup. I've told her that she can start wearing blush and lip gloss now and when she turns 17 or 18 she can start wearing mascara, eye liner, etc. Should I let her wear makeup now or wait until she's older?

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I personally don't see why you can't start working with her now, guiding her with some do's and don'ts. Restricting it could only mean she will do it behind your back, using someone else's stuff and potentially picking up some germs. As you said, she's responsible so I don't see the issue.  I would have rather known what to do as a kid than trying to figure it out much later personally. YMMV though.

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My youngest is 13 and wears makeup BUT only certain items - a little eyeshadow, mascara and lip gloss and nothing else. My 17-year-old wears a full face (foundation, blush, eyeshadow, liner, mascara) while my 15-year-old is in between with tinted moisturizer, eyeshadow, mascara and lip gloss.

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Originally Posted by agdm22 View Post

 

I have a 14 (almost 15) year old daughter who is starting to show an interest in wearing makeup. She is very responsible. I've noticed that a lot of her friends wear makeup. I've told her that she can start wearing blush and lip gloss now and when she turns 17 or 18 she can start wearing mascara, eye liner, etc. Should I let her wear makeup now or wait until she's older?

 

 

I'm around her age, and about 6 months ago I really wanted to start wearing makeup. After a lot of back and forth, eventually I was allowed to, and I was extremely happy about it. I wear whatever I have time for - I do a full face if I can,  but I keep it pretty natural. I think you should let her wear it. If she's responsible then most likely she should be allowed to wear some light makeup. ^^

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I wasn't allowed to wear any makeup. even got nagged for putting on lip glosses. I'm 30 and I still get lots of comments on my makeup from Mom. she hardly wears any.

My school makeup was lip gloss and mascara. Had been like that for soo long. After uni, I started using more. (without parents knowing)

Its best to show her that you dont mind her putting on makeup, but to try to keep it as natural as possible.

I used to go behind my parents back , buy and put on shades of lipstick, eyeshadows.. Thinking of what colors i used back then, i wish i had some guidance.

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i think you should let her wear makeup. when i was her age my parents didnt care what i wore as long as it wasnt to dark or bright. but my mom wasnt really into makeup, and i wish that she was because there where somethings i didnt know and still dont. i think that you should guide her and give her tips. i also think that it would make your relationship even stronger with her. i never got that with my mom. but i think you should let her.

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As long as you set the guidelines of wearing make up to your daughter, something you both agree to or that goes with the values that you are imparting on her, I don't think there is a any harm.  There are many products that are skin-healthy.  Take the time for both to research what makeup products to get.  You can make some products together if you want a project.  TKB trading and Coastal Scents as well as a bunch of other online stores sell bases and micas/oxides as well as full kits to make your own eye shadows, tinted lipbalms, blushes, mineral foundations etc.

 

 I began making my own cosmetics in anticipation for my daughter to wear some.  She's now 8, she wears some products that I've made for fun ...when we go to the mall or visit Gramma :)  She's not allowed to wear any makeup to school. 

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I'd say let her wear a little, but not so much that she looks like a different person. my sister just started wearing makeup about a year ago (she's 13 now), but she literally can't even go the supermarket without wearing some because she feels insecure about her naked face now.

 

a little bit at a time is fine, I think--maybe you could start off with mascara and lip gloss? I think the worst thing young teens tend to abuse is black eyeliner and bright blush--you could get her a more natural soft brown liner instead?

 

I think the danger, if any, of wearing makeup at a young age is that it might make your daughter feel insecure about the way she looks without makeup or over-exaggerate the importance of physical appearance. other than that, I don't think there's much harm done. that, and she might embarrass herself by wearing clown makeup she'll regret later lol

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Honestly, I started wearing makeup of the quantity you're suggesting for her -- blush and lipstick -- when I was 8 or 9. At her age, she is way ready to go full-out, with mascara and eyeliner too. Heck, I would get her going on a good moisturizing routine, as well as an easy-to-use foundation+primer+bronzer (if she's that skin type) and help her find a nice set of perfume choices.

 

Here's some working thoughts on it --

 

I wouldn't restrict her to "just natural" products or just a few different products. Show her different ways to do different "looks". School looks and work looks (in a few years if not now) and date looks and party looks and special event looks are all different, and it's just getting her on the right track for later if she can find these things out now. Especially with a cosmetics-knowledgeable mother, she deserves the chance to learn all she can before she fledges off on her own in a couple years.

 

Remember that the way you wear your face is an adventure in self-expression, and a 14 year old is even past the age where she should be able to play with it.

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Whoa, blush and lipstick at 8 or 9! That's really young imo. I couldn't even properly put my hair in a ponytail at that age haha.

 

I think at this age minimal is good. Help her find what better accentuates her features and really focus more on skincare like Caryatid mentioned. This is the perfect age to start good habits so that less makeup is needed.

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I'd personally let her wear it as I well remember what the girls who weren't allowed to wear it looked like in my highschool and junior high. Some ended up looking like clowns because they'd come to school and put their makeup on in the bathroom in a rush. Others looked like the happy hooker because they'd go early to a friend's house and put a full face on there. I started wearing makeup around the age of 13 or so and it didn't change my 'values' or make me feel self conscious when I didn't wear it. As a matter of fact, because my makeup wasn't made a big deal out of by anyone except the odd ridiculous relative, I actually usually only wore a full face of makeup when I was working in the music industry as an adult, where appearances were extremely important even though I was an audio engineer. It's just now in my 40s that I have started putting a lot more time into getting ready before going out anywhere. If you're gonna let her start wearing it I would highly suggest you teach her the importance of skin care starting immediately if you haven't already done so. Personally, if it was my daughter, I would be extremely careful about the ingredients in products like her foundation, moisturizer, lip products and other skin care items as some things can aggravate or even provoke acne breakouts. Then she'll be piling on even more makeup to cover it. There are some spectacular mineral foundations - powder and liquid - which are free of all garbage that could break her out yet still provide minimal to maximum coverage depending on the occasion. I would turn her onto those asap, before she gets into the other garbage with silicones and similar rubbish which could set her up for a lifetime of skin problems.

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definitely yes.  but only if you can teach her to wear it, and teach her what is appropriate and what is not. nothing worse than a 14 year old with blue eyeshadow and red hot lips  at 12 o'clock in the afternoon.  a little base, pretty blush, mascara and lip gloss will not hurt her...

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Zazi, seriously, you have 3 kids with one of them 17?? You'd never be able to tell from your profile picture! Which BTW looks great IMO. Much clearer than your last one!

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LOL there are far worse things than a 14 year old with badly applied makeup, and I can think of about 175 right off the top of my head :-) One of them being nasty adults who make comments to kids like these just to hurt and humilate them. Far far worse than some kid with a clown-face on.... Part of life is making mistakes, which we learn from if we are not restricted from doing so. If we are restricted from doing so, we grow up to be far less balanced human beings, which translates into larger problems later in life. Ignore the judgement which other women will undoubtedly heap on you in droves - as a woman I can readily admit that all of us can be complete judgmental cows, some worse than others - and go with what is right for your daughter. Forget about the worry of people thinking you're a 'bad parent' etc. They'd be better off watching their own kids and letting you get on with your own job. You can make this issue something which brings you and your daughter closer together or which tears you further apart. It's up to you which is the better option. This is not a moral or ethical issue whatsoever, so is it really worth it? At the end of the day makeup washes off and by allowing her to make her own mistakes which aren't life threatening, you're helping her to develop a sense of responsibility and assisting her in her own maturation, as well as allowing her to develop a sense of self.

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Originally Posted by satojoko View Post

 

LOL there are far worse things than a 14 year old with badly applied makeup, and I can think of about 175 right off the top of my head :-) One of them being nasty adults who make comments to kids like these just to hurt and humilate them. Far far worse than some kid with a clown-face on....

 

 

um... are you reffering to me as the "nasty adult who makes comments to kids like these to humiliate them"?  because i don't think i did any such thing... 

and when i was saying "nothing worse" i meant make up wise, since this is a make up forum and all.  so yeah.  

 

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My daughter is very stylish at 8.  She's actually the envy of many girls at her elementary.  She doesn't wear any makeup at school. Blush and lipstick at subtle colours are ok.  Oddly enough, when she is wearing some eyeshadow, it looks like she put on mascara to go with it and when she wears lipstick, she looks like she has blush on too.  (I've tried to wipe it off and she didn't have any on)

 

This is no different from when my Aunties used to put eyeshadow and lipstick on me when I was 4.  

 

Originally Posted by Adrienne View Post

Whoa, blush and lipstick at 8 or 9! That's really young imo. I couldn't even properly put my hair in a ponytail at that age haha.

 

 



 

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No, actually I wasn't referring to you :-) It was referring to people in general who I've seen/heard do this or who belittle teenage girls for doing nothing more harmful than experimenting and learning a skill they will likely use at many points in their life. I *was* referring to you however when I said that there are much worse things than a 14 year old walking around with gaudy makeup on.

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I'm not "belittling teenage girls" for experimenting with makeup, nor did I say "gaudy makeup" was the reason why parent shouldn't allow little children to wear any.

 

lol I'm not hippie femi-nazi, but there is the danger--albeit unlikely--of encouraging girls at an early age that looking pretty is more important than anything else, or they're not pretty enough; I don't think allowing a girl to wear makeup is directly involved, but it's more common than you'd think. some very young girls at my sister's school wear falsies to school; from one point of view you could argue it really doesn't matter, but you could also say it says something about how that little 12-year-old views herself. when my sister was as young as like 8, some of her friends would literally stare at the mirror and complain they weren't pretty or skinny enough; as an 8-year-old or even a 12-year-old, they shouldn't have to worry about that stuff. there's not much harm in wearing makeup, but there's also a benefit to being involved in the girl's choices.

  

Originally Posted by satojoko View Post

LOL there are far worse things than a 14 year old with badly applied makeup, and I can think of about 175 right off the top of my head :-) One of them being nasty adults who make comments to kids like these just to hurt and humilate them. Far far worse than some kid with a clown-face on....


 

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Although lipstick at 8 years old and a child who is 'the envy' of other little girls at school are not great things either and not something I'd be encouraging with my own daughter. Those are negatives IMO and not good values for a child to be forming at such a young age.

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What values are you referring to? I see make up as a form of self expression and a fun form of art.  As long as you raise your kids right and don't get it in there heads that self value is based on looks, then there's nothing wrong with it. 

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make up, beauty and looks is just one aspect of any human being.  wearing make up (at 8 or at 14) doesn't prevent one from growing into a strong young woman, beautiful both inside and out.  as women we don't have to choose between beauty and brains... or beauty and heart.  we can have it all, i thought that was the whole point of make up.  

 

my concern is primarily if the make up looks appropriate.  when a little girl wears ridiculous amounts of make up (such as on that horrible pageant show) and appears as an adult woman, this is when we as a society have majorly screwed up.  when an 8 year old wears lip gloss or whatever, and still looks like an 8 year old, i don't see it as anything more as "being girly" which some women enjoy more than others due to nothing more than natural differences in temperament.  some 8 year olds might want to climb trees, others may wish to wear make up, and some might do both... this says nothing about their future potential or "value."  

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Originally Posted by vicka View Post

 

make up, beauty and looks is just one aspect of any human being.  wearing make up (at 8 or at 14) doesn't prevent one from growing into a strong young woman, beautiful both inside and out.  as women we don't have to choose between beauty and brains... or beauty and heart.  we can have it all, i thought that was the whole point of make up.  

 

my concern is primarily if the make up looks appropriate.  when a little girl wears ridiculous amounts of make up (such as on that horrible pageant show) and appears as an adult woman, this is when we as a society have majorly screwed up.  when an 8 year old wears lip gloss or whatever, and still looks like an 8 year old, i don't see it as anything more as "being girly" which some women enjoy more than others due to nothing more than natural differences in temperament.  some 8 year olds might want to climb trees, others may wish to wear make up, and some might do both... this says nothing about their future potential or "value."  

LL

 

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