Should I let my daughter wear makeup?

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Originally Posted by agdm22 /img/forum/go_quote.gif

I actually homeschool my daughter so there is no way that she can go behind my back and put makeup on. I'm still debating whether I should let her start wearing makeup or not. She is a total tomboy and I hope that her personality won't change just because I let her start wearing makeup. 

That never changes.  When I was 17 I worked in carpentry and did with eyeshadow!

 
Haha, her personality isn't going to change if she wears makeup.

I have a beauty blog and, again, I've worn makeup since I was tiny, and I did so while playing with Hot Wheels and digging in the dirt. In real life I still dig in the dirt, I'm a sports junkie, and I have the personality of a dude, lol. I wouldn't worry about that, and if she's interested in cosmetics, then she's got the cosmetics gene from her mother anyway. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Just let her try it! :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
Originally Posted by agdm22 /img/forum/go_quote.gif

I actually homeschool my daughter so there is no way that she can go behind my back and put makeup on. I'm still debating whether I should let her start wearing makeup or not. She is a total tomboy and I hope that her personality won't change just because I let her start wearing makeup. 
Even if it does, it's ultimately her decision who she wants to be. She may be a tomboy now and grow out of it or she could remain one who wears make up on special occasions or full time. Only time well tell and I don't think make up (or the lack of it) isn't going to play a major factor in it.

 
what I was saying was, an 8 year old looking at the mirror sadly because she's not skinny or pretty or even sexy enough is more than just accepting that appearance is important; my kid sister's friends back then were like that, and it was rubbing off on her (which scared the crap out of me).

there are some girls at her middle school who dress like prostitutes--I guess you could say they have the right to do what they want and discover things on their own or whatnot.. but the way you present yourself affects the way people treat you, which in turn affects the way you perceive yourself, and getting that sort of attention at a young age doesn't exactly help to reinforce the more intellectual qualities of that child. there's absolutely nothing wrong with being told you're pretty, but if that's the only thing people tell you, it'll probably affect the way you see yourself and what's important. but imo I think the danger of makeup/clothes lies in the extreme, so unless you star in toddlers and tiaras you should be fine.

physical appearance is important, but it shouldn't be over-valued; I shouldn't judge, but there's a girl at my college whose mom literally make sure they're "pretty enough" so she can land a successful husband--rather than focus on her own academic achievements. and let me tell you, the way that girl views the world is pretty crazy. unless you're doing HR or PR or selling your image, I would argue that career success depends on your work ethic, education, and social skills (which you can have and still be unattractive lol). I almost think it could hinder some occupations because you'd be viewed as inferior or 'too pretty to actually be smart'--people might underestimate you.

tootally random, but do you feel people treat you differently when you don't wear makeup? 

Originally Posted by vicka /img/forum/go_quote.gif

but physical appearance is important.  how we look matters in virtually everything we do from interpersonal relationships to career success. 


 
Not addressed to me, and I hate to drag us off-topic, buuuuuut, three thoughts --

1. I am one of those women who looks a lot different in makeup than she does without it. Without any makeup I look a lot younger, for one thing. While I am sure that in a decade I will be happy about this, for now, I work in a professional environment, and looking like a child is not really beneficial. At this point in our cultural development, looking put-together and appearing to take care of yourself is important. For some, lucky women, this impression can be given by combing your hair and good nutrition so that you look naturally radiant. Other people just aren't this lucky. In this respect, then yes, you should be knowledgeable about cosmetics and how to look like you care about yourself. It tells other people that you care enough about yourself to look presentable, and like it or not, in today's world, your physical appearance gets tied to people's impressions of other aspects of your personality. Now, I am well aware that there are plenty of brilliant people who never look good, and I am not at all saying that you have to be beautiful to be a good employee/smart/a good person. However, there is a cultural tie between the two. Why else are we expected to dress nicely in certain environments? :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

2. Tying in with (1), I think it is a real disservice to us beauty-lovers (all of us included) to generalize (and I am not targeting anyone in this thread at all), even for young children, that wearing makeup sexualizes by default. This also goes for "full face makeup = girl is acting like a tramp = beauty ignorant = bad self-esteem" in some combination. First of all, this assumes that beauty products, and women's beauty in general, exists solely to make women more sexually attractive to men. This is frankly untrue, and it ignores point (3)...

3. Again, I think that mothers in general and some of the people on this thread kind of tackle cosmetics and girls' efforts with cosmetics in the wrong way. First of all, again, beauty and how you put your cosmetics to use is not just a reflection of how girls see themselves as too fat/thin/not pretty enough without cosmetics, or anything else like this. It is, when done right, an instrument of self-expression. In this respect also, girls need to learn how to apply cosmetics, and need to make some mistakes as kids and teens, to learn to express themselves in a flattering and pretty way that they appreciate as older teens and as adults.

End of rant -- moms (or dads who have this stuff down pat -- I know they're out there!) need to realize that they need to instruct and guide their daughters (or sons, hey -- I ain't judging :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> ) in skin-care and beauty and cosmetics routines. It shouldn't be a chance to deliver sermons on young people's self-esteem or sexuality (again, not that anyone in this thread is expressly doing this). If a young person is interested in beauty, then the opportunity ought to be taken to teach and to help them, instead of trying to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. If mascara or eyeshadow (or whatever) is not "allowed" at some point when a girl wants to try it, it should not be a maturity issue -- it should be because the mom hasn't had the chance to sit down with her daughter and help her find the best (or safest) cosmetic for her.

And jeez, I am so glad I started moisturizing early! If nothing else, get the girls some skincare products. ;) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
LOL...playing with barbies, not wanting to be one.  

Originally Posted by Doya G /img/forum/go_quote.gif

I think it depends on how you are brought up and the environment.

Frankly the world is changing. my days is so different than my Mom's and of course our kids would be different.

My brothers and Mom keep asking me what is it about makeup.. why do you need it so. They dont understand that makeup is just another way of looking good just the same as buying a new outfit wanting to look good. its not about changing yourself or feeling a somebody with it. we need to emphasize this point to them.

But yeah, I'd love my daughter to go through all stages of life, childhood is playing with barbies, not wanting to be one.

i'm not judging, by the way.

my best advise is to be makeup buddies with your daughter. dont judge her, dont restrict her too much. that way she'll be comfortable to ask for your opinion and go with it :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


 
Originally Posted by divadoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif


LOL...playing with barbies, not wanting to be one.
THAT comment reminded me of this article on The Gloss. A woman gave her daughter - who isn't even near being a pre-teen - a gift voucher (certificate for those of us in the US who is used to that term) for plastic surgery at Christmas and one for a boob job on her 7th birthday (to be used when she's older obviously).

http://thegloss.com/beauty/7-year-old-plastic-surgery-voucher-christmashuman-barbie-505/

 
What a huge statement on the genetics she passed on to her child.  It says... I know you're gonna be ugly and flat chested when you grow up (because your mom and dad are), here's the corrective measures you need.  

What a waste of money!  What if she turned out to be gorgeous who's well endowed?  
 

This is who the saying " A fool and her money is soon parted" was written for..

Originally Posted by zadidoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif 

THAT comment reminded me of this article on The Gloss. A woman gave her daughter - who isn't even near being a pre-teen - a gift voucher (certificate for those of us in the US who is used to that term) for plastic surgery at Christmas and one for a boob job on her 7th birthday (to be used when she's older obviously).

http://thegloss.com/beauty/7-year-old-plastic-surgery-voucher-christmashuman-barbie-505/


 
Well the woman obviously is unhappy with her looks because she's spent over £500,000 (roughly $781,000 US/ $792,000 CAD) on her own looks when she gave the then six-year-old pole dancing lessons and then the £6,000 ($9,400 US / $9,500 CAD) and of course the £7,000 (roughly $11,000 US/$11,100 CAD) liposuction gift voucher. I can't believe no one has stepped in because the mother is basically teaching her daughter that men won't like her unless she looks and behaves a certain way (pole dancing classes, faux champagne, etc).

 
Wow I have to say that this last story is just gross negligence... the mother saying that the daughter asks for plastic surgery all the time! OMG! That's absolutely terrible!

Back to the original question, learning about makeup and do's and don'ts at a young age is a good thing. Little kids express themselves very well at that age and have HUGE imaginations. I don't have kids myself but if I did I think I would encourage makeup at a young age, doesn't matter their gender either, and I would only put limitations on where they could wear makeup outside of play. In the teens kids are looking for popularity votes and finding themselves in the crowd. Most schools have restrictions on makeup and dress code so I would play it safe with my kids and make sure they follow the rules. If they were irresponsible then makeup just like any other priviledge, would be taken away as a lesson. I think teaching your kids at a young age to respect themselves with and without makeup is the best thing. I wasn't really allowed to wear anything except on halloween where I would go nuts trying to re-create characters, especially cats lol! No one in my family is really into makeup. Most of my teens I didn't wear anything. I'm now in my early thirties and I wish that I had been allowed to experiment more but I wasn't allowed to. I even shoplifted makeup, and I got caught and I was lucky charges weren't brought against me. So limiting too much can cause a complete reversal and rebellion. 

Of course no matter what the best thing to teach her is to love herself the way she is and that makeup is not a necessity in life, impart your wishes to her, the values you want her to have and really assess your comfort level with what she will be allowed to wear. Ask her what she wants to wear and why and have a real discussion about it and try to come to a consensus. I think that's the best way!

Hope this helped in some small way, not really any different from what all these other wonderful people have been saying! Good Luck!

:) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
Its not even the fact that men won't like her, she's teaching her daughter that NOONE is going to like her the way she is and that the only way they will is to surgically alter her appearance.  No makeup, no outfits, no different hairstyles... she needs to have surgery to fix it because something is sooo very wrong with her.  I'm sad for that little girl.  

I do think that the birthday party with a manicurist in a pink party bus drinking faux champagne is cute tho (not to make all that other stuff ok).  I did a princess party for my daughter's 6th birthday with home manicures and carbonated apple juice served in plastic champagne flutes for her and her 2 friends.  

Originally Posted by zadidoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Well the woman obviously is unhappy with her looks because she's spent over £500,000 (roughly $781,000 US/ $792,000 CAD) on her own looks when she gave the then six-year-old pole dancing lessons and then the £6,000 ($9,400 US / $9,500 CAD) and of course the £7,000 (roughly $11,000 US/$11,100 CAD) liposuction gift voucher. I can't believe no one has stepped in because the mother is basically teaching her daughter that men won't like her unless she looks and behaves a certain way (pole dancing classes, faux champagne, etc).
 
I believe you can slowly let her start wearing make up such as mascara and lip gloss . Nothing to extreme , savior her youth . I believe at age 17 is when a girl can wear more .
patches.gif
 
Remembering back to when I was 14, there isn't anything that could have changed what was going through my mind. If my mother had want me to think about barbies and child things, it wasn't going to happen. When kids at school make fun of you because you have a zit on your face, THAT is what you think about. Having make up on doesn't make you insecure about your bare face, zits, flaws etc make you self conscious about your bare face.

So I think a bit of concealer would be a great help on her self confidence.

My mother was a hippy. She just started using makeup in the past two years, and I'm 21. We never had that bonding moment that most girls get where she taught me how to put everything on right and it makes me a bit jealous of other girls. Luckily we've bonded a bit with me teaching her to put it on. Looking back though, I wish she'd taught me starting at the age 10, because middle school was suck. So instead of getting good motherly guidance on my makeup, I wore black eyeliner on my lips and ran chapstick over it (there wasn't anywhere selling black lipstick then), black eyeliner and black mascara if I could find a friend who had it. This continued for three years. I think moms should get their bonding on.

 
I remember my mom and my aunties putting make up on me when I was 4-5 but I never had that makeup bonding thing with my mom either.  It would have been nice because by the time I was 13, I was pretty alienated from her.  She didn't understand me and I didn't understand her.  That's why I thought I'd start it earlier with my daughter who is 8. We decided together what colours to make for her, what colour tinted lipbalms and lightly pigmented lipsticks we can make or glitter or tinted lip glosses with what flavour etc.  2 years in a row now, on her birthday (4 days away from mine) we'd go get mani-pedi's together and go have lunch - girls day out.  She wants it to be our tradition and that's what she wanted for her birthday.   It's comforting to have those moments where mother and daughter connect.  

Being a goth teen, I would have done the black liner/lippy anyways and did during my clubbing years ;) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Originally Posted by ChemicalMakeup /img/forum/go_quote.gif


My mother was a hippy. She just started using makeup in the past two years, and I'm 21. We never had that bonding moment that most girls get where she taught me how to put everything on right and it makes me a bit jealous of other girls. Luckily we've bonded a bit with me teaching her to put it on. Looking back though, I wish she'd taught me starting at the age 10, because middle school was suck. So instead of getting good motherly guidance on my makeup, I wore black eyeliner on my lips and ran chapstick over it (there wasn't anywhere selling black lipstick then), black eyeliner and black mascara if I could find a friend who had it. This continued for three years. I think moms should get their bonding on.

 
I completely agree that too many restrictions will cause a teen to rebel and wear makeup behind their parents backs. I did it. I constantly got my hidden makeup stash taken away and I would constantly sneak in my parents room and steal it back lol.

 
Nothing wrong with some gloss and mascara.  At 14 im sure she doesnt need foundation or blush but maybe let her have some colorful fun eyeshadow.

 
I'd let her wear makeup. At high school, many girls wear heavy makeup, so it's only normal if she wants to wear it too. I'd get her some mascara, lip gloss, a good eyeshadow palette, and...eyeliner lol

I agree- eight is very young to be thinking about makeup. Clothes are okay, but an eight year old child in makeup other than for school plays or halloween? No offense, but wearing makeup at an age that young will only ruin her skin and make her look older in the future.

 
My mother didn't let me wear makeup until I was a junior in high school (around 16 years of age). I'm so glad she did that, the bad thing was I didn't know how to apply it very well, the good thing was I feel like I would be a completely different person if she let me wear it when I was in middle school.

 
little bit of lipgloss and eyeshadow won't hurt. definitely no lipstick, foundation or eyeliner. Too much makeup on a 15 year old can attract lots of pervert guys in school and you know how boys are these days. If I have a daughter I wouldn't let her start wearing makeup at this age but like I said lipgloss and eyeshadow are fine. I remember when I was in high school which was the year of 2002 -2006, most girls didn't wear makeup besides lip gloss and little bit of eyeshadow, those who had full face makeup were most likely... well lets just they acted very slutty. But again things are different now, I see lots of young girls at age 12 wearing lipstick and miniskirt with a designer bags. *sigh* 

 
I was the opposite. I wasn't a tomboy per se, but once in a while my mom would try to have a girly moment with me, and put makeup on; I didn't like the way it looked, which is probably one of the reasons I never wore any. I'm glad I didn't bc I never really worried about the way I looked or dressed back then; but that's probably because my friends were like me. I'm sure if all my friends wore makeup and worried about their image, I would have as well. I was sensitive about my eczema though--for days and even weeks, I would have outbreaks where my face would be red and swollen and painful :/ but even hypoallergenic creams irritated my skin, so I don't think concealer would have worked.

I started wearing it in college, thanks to dorm friends and youtube lol. when I joined a sorority, that's when I became infinitely more self-conscious about the way I look.

Originally Posted by ChemicalMakeup /img/forum/go_quote.gif

My mother was a hippy. She just started using makeup in the past two years, and I'm 21. We never had that bonding moment that most girls get where she taught me how to put everything on right and it makes me a bit jealous of other girls. Luckily we've bonded a bit with me teaching her to put it on. 


 
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