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agdm22

Should I let my daughter wear makeup?

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Some girls just are the envy of other girls.  I didn't say I'm encouraging her to be something she isn't.  Perhaps you were never the envy of anyone but it is either you are or you're not.  In the real world, you are either the one employers, teachers, boys etc are going to pick or you are not.  Its a part of life.  Its a lesson she's going to learn sooner or later and she has learned to deal with being popular without growing a large ego or swelled head.  She is secure with her own image.  Hopefully, this will not change as they grow older and other girls become more vindictive.

 

Why would you say that a girl who is the envy of other girls is not a great thing?  I was and it was great.  

 

She and I made those cosmetics.  She picked the colours and we made them.

Originally Posted by satojoko View Post

Although lipstick at 8 years old and a child who is 'the envy' of other little girls at school are not great things either and not something I'd be encouraging with my own daughter. Those are negatives IMO and not good values for a child to be forming at such a young age.


 

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I was actually referring to DivaDoll's reference to bringing up children with certain 'values' and then saying her daughter is the envy of other little girls at her school. What is that teaching such a young child? That physical appearance etc is of great importance and that being envied by others is a good thing. I have no problem with girls wearing makeup but really believe that young ones at that age should be forming a good solid basis as human beings *before* moving onto the stages of makeup, etc. Playing around with it at home at that age is one thing. Wearing it out anywhere at such a young age is another. I personally wouldn't allow that with my own daughter. Not at that age.

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Originally Posted by satojoko View Post

 

I was actually referring to DivaDoll's reference to bringing up children with certain 'values' and then saying her daughter is the envy of other little girls at her school. What is that teaching such a young child? That physical appearance etc is of great importance and that being envied by others is a good thing.

I have no problem with girls wearing makeup but really believe that young ones at that age should be forming a good solid basis as human beings *before* moving onto the stages of makeup, etc. Playing around with it at home at that age is one thing. Wearing it out anywhere at such a young age is another. I personally wouldn't allow that with my own daughter. Not at that age.

 

but physical appearance is important.  how we look matters in virtually everything we do from interpersonal relationships to career success. 

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Perhaps you should take more time in reading posts... I've repeatedly said my daughter does not wear any makeup to school.  

 

I mentioned that the OP should decide with her daughter according to her values. I'm not telling her what her values should be.  In the end, she has to live with her decision - no matter what advise we give her in this thread. 

 

My daughter is the envy of other girls because other mothers at the school seek me out to tell me that their daughters all talk about how great my daughter dresses and how cute she looks all the time.  I'm not teaching her to strive to be the envy of anyone.  I am teaching her that this situation will not always exist and that she will one day find that such attention will not be around.  She is free to enjoy it while it lasts and that in the end, she should always rely on herself and her abilities. It is a fact of life that some people will stand out more than others.  They will get more opportunities because they are remembered.  Am I wrong here?  I know that if people don't know you exist, they aren't going to remember you when there's a good opportunity to be had. 

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Yes! and they've done many experiments even with young children as to how they would react with someone good looking vs someone who is ugly.  Its called a Halo Effect.  

Originally Posted by vicka View Post



but physical appearance is important.  how we look matters in virtually everything we do from interpersonal relationships to career success. 



 

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Nothing wrong with letting her wear a little bit of makeup and slowly work from there. If you don't let her, she will do it behind your back!

I don't think being beautiful on the outside is the most important thing in the world, but feeling confident is very mportant and makeup might help a little bit in that department.

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I personally think 8 is very young to have their thoughts occupied with makeup and stuff.

Teenage years is where i believe they should be introduced and encouraged to take more care of oneself. otherwise it would real hard to do so once they get older.

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Really?  My daughter wants to be a fashion designer.  She's been obsessed with what she can do with clothing since she was 3 when she turned my long sleeve t-shirt into a pleated skirt.  My son and I were pretty amazed on how well it hung on her.  She's fascinated with makeup because we make them together.  She's not obsessed with it but she will wear some on occasion except for school.

Originally Posted by Doya G View Post

I personally think 8 is very young to have their thoughts occupied with makeup and stuff.

Teenage years is where i believe they should be introduced and encouraged to take more care of oneself. otherwise it would real hard to do so once they get older

 

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let her remain natural or..els give her good products

dnt let her in dark make up's start with nude colours

n

putting on kohl is not bad  restrict eyelnes foundation n al sorts of damaging products!

the rest is on u!..

jus tke d write decsion :)

xD

- EYE [email protected] do !t... 

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Originally Posted by divadoll View Post

 

Really?  My daughter wants to be a fashion designer.  She's been obsessed with what she can do with clothing since she was 3 when she turned my long sleeve t-shirt into a pleated skirt.  My son and I were pretty amazed on how well it hung on her.  She's fascinated with makeup because we make them together.  She's not obsessed with it but she will wear some on occasion except for school.

 

 

I think it depends on how you are brought up and the environment.

Frankly the world is changing. my days is so different than my Mom's and of course our kids would be different.

My brothers and Mom keep asking me what is it about makeup.. why do you need it so. They dont understand that makeup is just another way of looking good just the same as buying a new outfit wanting to look good. its not about changing yourself or feeling a somebody with it. we need to emphasize this point to them.

 

But yeah, I'd love my daughter to go through all stages of life, childhood is playing with barbies, not wanting to be one.

i'm not judging, by the way.

my best advise is to be makeup buddies with your daughter. dont judge her, dont restrict her too much. that way she'll be comfortable to ask for your opinion and go with it :)

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I think 14-15 is an exceptable age to begin wearing makeup. I would find products that you feel comfortable with her wearing like lipglosses, light coloured shadows, mascara.

I don't think she will need a full face of foundation, powder, blush, bronzer, concealor and highlighter at that age, but you can spend time teaching her about makeup and whats appropriate.

 

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I actually just purchased a very light mineral powder set and a very very light neutral eyeshadow palette, clear and black mascara and clear lip gloss for my younger sister she is 14 (of course with permission from my mom). I got it for her cause she kept using my moms makeup and that can be frustrating in its self when things come up missing. The time when she used my moms makeup, was because she was embarrassed of her blemishes and she was trying to cover them up. Another thing I don't want her using friends makeup or sharing makeup because of the germs out there. I remember seeing the horror stories of girls when i was in high school sharing makeup and getting gross eye infections, it just isn't sanitary because they didn't know any better. Me and my mother have been educating her on makeup not to use or share with other people and ask if she ever needs help or an opinion.

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Originally Posted by divadoll View Post

 

My daughter is very stylish at 8.  She's actually the envy of many girls at her elementary.  She doesn't wear any makeup at school. Blush and lipstick at subtle colours are ok.  Oddly enough, when she is wearing some eyeshadow, it looks like she put on mascara to go with it and when she wears lipstick, she looks like she has blush on too.  (I've tried to wipe it off and she didn't have any on)

 

This is no different from when my Aunties used to put eyeshadow and lipstick on me when I was 4.  

 

 

 

 

 

The way I'm reading the OP: is her daughter old enough to wear makeup?

 

What I'm referring to is daily use of makeup. I'm assuming if her daughter is going to wear makeup it's going to be on a daily basis. When I mention that 8 is too young to be wearing makeup, I'm saying as part of her daily routine. At that age, glittery children's lipgloss would be the most I'd allow. I see no problem in playing with makeup at a young age. I remember playing dress up as a child and I would sneak into my mother's makeup bag. And many children's plays acquire the use of makeup. Heck, halloween is all about costume/makeup and even in photos a little color is sweet. When I mention that 8 is too young to be wearing makeup, I'm saying as part of her daily routine. At that age, glittery children's lipgloss would be the most I'd allow.

 

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i think letting her wear mascara is okay now too, it makes the eyes pop. :D Plus if you think about it, the more you say no the more likely she's going to go to school and borrow her friends makeup and wear it then. I know i did that lol. 

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I actually homeschool my daughter so there is no way that she can go behind my back and put makeup on. I'm still debating whether I should let her start wearing makeup or not. She is a total tomboy and I hope that her personality won't change just because I let her start wearing makeup. 

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Originally Posted by agdm22 View Post

 

I actually homeschool my daughter so there is no way that she can go behind my back and put makeup on. I'm still debating whether I should let her start wearing makeup or not. She is a total tomboy and I hope that her personality won't change just because I let her start wearing makeup. 

 

That never changes.  When I was 17 I worked in carpentry and did with eyeshadow!

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Haha, her personality isn't going to change if she wears makeup.

 

I have a beauty blog and, again, I've worn makeup since I was tiny, and I did so while playing with Hot Wheels and digging in the dirt. In real life I still dig in the dirt, I'm a sports junkie, and I have the personality of a dude, lol. I wouldn't worry about that, and if she's interested in cosmetics, then she's got the cosmetics gene from her mother anyway. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Just let her try it! :)

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Originally Posted by agdm22 View Post

 

I actually homeschool my daughter so there is no way that she can go behind my back and put makeup on. I'm still debating whether I should let her start wearing makeup or not. She is a total tomboy and I hope that her personality won't change just because I let her start wearing makeup. 

 

Even if it does, it's ultimately her decision who she wants to be. She may be a tomboy now and grow out of it or she could remain one who wears make up on special occasions or full time. Only time well tell and I don't think make up (or the lack of it) isn't going to play a major factor in it.

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what I was saying was, an 8 year old looking at the mirror sadly because she's not skinny or pretty or even sexy enough is more than just accepting that appearance is important; my kid sister's friends back then were like that, and it was rubbing off on her (which scared the crap out of me).

 

there are some girls at her middle school who dress like prostitutes--I guess you could say they have the right to do what they want and discover things on their own or whatnot.. but the way you present yourself affects the way people treat you, which in turn affects the way you perceive yourself, and getting that sort of attention at a young age doesn't exactly help to reinforce the more intellectual qualities of that child. there's absolutely nothing wrong with being told you're pretty, but if that's the only thing people tell you, it'll probably affect the way you see yourself and what's important. but imo I think the danger of makeup/clothes lies in the extreme, so unless you star in toddlers and tiaras you should be fine.

 

physical appearance is important, but it shouldn't be over-valued; I shouldn't judge, but there's a girl at my college whose mom literally make sure they're "pretty enough" so she can land a successful husband--rather than focus on her own academic achievements. and let me tell you, the way that girl views the world is pretty crazy. unless you're doing HR or PR or selling your image, I would argue that career success depends on your work ethic, education, and social skills (which you can have and still be unattractive lol). I almost think it could hinder some occupations because you'd be viewed as inferior or 'too pretty to actually be smart'--people might underestimate you.

 

 

 

tootally random, but do you feel people treat you differently when you don't wear makeup? 

 

Originally Posted by vicka View Post

but physical appearance is important.  how we look matters in virtually everything we do from interpersonal relationships to career success. 



 

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Not addressed to me, and I hate to drag us off-topic, buuuuuut, three thoughts --

 

1. I am one of those women who looks a lot different in makeup than she does without it. Without any makeup I look a lot younger, for one thing. While I am sure that in a decade I will be happy about this, for now, I work in a professional environment, and looking like a child is not really beneficial. At this point in our cultural development, looking put-together and appearing to take care of yourself is important. For some, lucky women, this impression can be given by combing your hair and good nutrition so that you look naturally radiant. Other people just aren't this lucky. In this respect, then yes, you should be knowledgeable about cosmetics and how to look like you care about yourself. It tells other people that you care enough about yourself to look presentable, and like it or not, in today's world, your physical appearance gets tied to people's impressions of other aspects of your personality. Now, I am well aware that there are plenty of brilliant people who never look good, and I am not at all saying that you have to be beautiful to be a good employee/smart/a good person. However, there is a cultural tie between the two. Why else are we expected to dress nicely in certain environments? :)

 

2. Tying in with (1), I think it is a real disservice to us beauty-lovers (all of us included) to generalize (and I am not targeting anyone in this thread at all), even for young children, that wearing makeup sexualizes by default. This also goes for "full face makeup = girl is acting like a tramp = beauty ignorant = bad self-esteem" in some combination. First of all, this assumes that beauty products, and women's beauty in general, exists solely to make women more sexually attractive to men. This is frankly untrue, and it ignores point (3)...

 

3. Again, I think that mothers in general and some of the people on this thread kind of tackle cosmetics and girls' efforts with cosmetics in the wrong way. First of all, again, beauty and how you put your cosmetics to use is not just a reflection of how girls see themselves as too fat/thin/not pretty enough without cosmetics, or anything else like this. It is, when done right, an instrument of self-expression. In this respect also, girls need to learn how to apply cosmetics, and need to make some mistakes as kids and teens, to learn to express themselves in a flattering and pretty way that they appreciate as older teens and as adults.

 

End of rant -- moms (or dads who have this stuff down pat -- I know they're out there!) need to realize that they need to instruct and guide their daughters (or sons, hey -- I ain't judging :) ) in skin-care and beauty and cosmetics routines. It shouldn't be a chance to deliver sermons on young people's self-esteem or sexuality (again, not that anyone in this thread is expressly doing this). If a young person is interested in beauty, then the opportunity ought to be taken to teach and to help them, instead of trying to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. If mascara or eyeshadow (or whatever) is not "allowed" at some point when a girl wants to try it, it should not be a maturity issue -- it should be because the mom hasn't had the chance to sit down with her daughter and help her find the best (or safest) cosmetic for her.

 

And jeez, I am so glad I started moisturizing early! If nothing else, get the girls some skincare products. ;)

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LOL...playing with barbies, not wanting to be one.  

 

 

Originally Posted by Doya G View Post


I think it depends on how you are brought up and the environment.

Frankly the world is changing. my days is so different than my Mom's and of course our kids would be different.

My brothers and Mom keep asking me what is it about makeup.. why do you need it so. They dont understand that makeup is just another way of looking good just the same as buying a new outfit wanting to look good. its not about changing yourself or feeling a somebody with it. we need to emphasize this point to them.

 

But yeah, I'd love my daughter to go through all stages of life, childhood is playing with barbies, not wanting to be one.

i'm not judging, by the way.

my best advise is to be makeup buddies with your daughter. dont judge her, dont restrict her too much. that way she'll be comfortable to ask for your opinion and go with it :)



 

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Originally Posted by divadoll View Post

 

 

LOL...playing with barbies, not wanting to be one.

 

THAT comment reminded me of this article on The Gloss. A woman gave her daughter - who isn't even near being a pre-teen - a gift voucher (certificate for those of us in the US who is used to that term) for plastic surgery at Christmas and one for a boob job on her 7th birthday (to be used when she's older obviously).

 

http://thegloss.com/beauty/7-year-old-plastic-surgery-voucher-christmashuman-barbie-505/

 

 

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What a huge statement on the genetics she passed on to her child.  It says... I know you're gonna be ugly and flat chested when you grow up (because your mom and dad are), here's the corrective measures you need.  

 

What a waste of money!  What if she turned out to be gorgeous who's well endowed?  
 

 

This is who the saying " A fool and her money is soon parted" was written for..

Originally Posted by zadidoll View Post 


THAT comment reminded me of this article on The Gloss. A woman gave her daughter - who isn't even near being a pre-teen - a gift voucher (certificate for those of us in the US who is used to that term) for plastic surgery at Christmas and one for a boob job on her 7th birthday (to be used when she's older obviously).

 

http://thegloss.com/beauty/7-year-old-plastic-surgery-voucher-christmashuman-barbie-505/

 

 



 

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Well the woman obviously is unhappy with her looks because she's spent over £500,000 (roughly $781,000 US/ $792,000 CAD) on her own looks when she gave the then six-year-old pole dancing lessons and then the £6,000 ($9,400 US / $9,500 CAD) and of course the £7,000 (roughly $11,000 US/$11,100 CAD) liposuction gift voucher. I can't believe no one has stepped in because the mother is basically teaching her daughter that men won't like her unless she looks and behaves a certain way (pole dancing classes, faux champagne, etc).

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Wow I have to say that this last story is just gross negligence... the mother saying that the daughter asks for plastic surgery all the time! OMG! That's absolutely terrible!

 

Back to the original question, learning about makeup and do's and don'ts at a young age is a good thing. Little kids express themselves very well at that age and have HUGE imaginations. I don't have kids myself but if I did I think I would encourage makeup at a young age, doesn't matter their gender either, and I would only put limitations on where they could wear makeup outside of play. In the teens kids are looking for popularity votes and finding themselves in the crowd. Most schools have restrictions on makeup and dress code so I would play it safe with my kids and make sure they follow the rules. If they were irresponsible then makeup just like any other priviledge, would be taken away as a lesson. I think teaching your kids at a young age to respect themselves with and without makeup is the best thing. I wasn't really allowed to wear anything except on halloween where I would go nuts trying to re-create characters, especially cats lol! No one in my family is really into makeup. Most of my teens I didn't wear anything. I'm now in my early thirties and I wish that I had been allowed to experiment more but I wasn't allowed to. I even shoplifted makeup, and I got caught and I was lucky charges weren't brought against me. So limiting too much can cause a complete reversal and rebellion. 

 

Of course no matter what the best thing to teach her is to love herself the way she is and that makeup is not a necessity in life, impart your wishes to her, the values you want her to have and really assess your comfort level with what she will be allowed to wear. Ask her what she wants to wear and why and have a real discussion about it and try to come to a consensus. I think that's the best way!

 

Hope this helped in some small way, not really any different from what all these other wonderful people have been saying! Good Luck!

 

:)

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