ohh, dear. my eyes well up. my stomach wells up at the thought of....
sometimes i'm ashamed of my race hardcore. i'm assuming the cad that tried to pick you up was a rude white boy.
i can't imagine what you have been through. God Bless you.
For starters it must have been a real let down to try to date just once and to find out you had a jerk on your hands. try again! However, from the tone of your post it may not be "ready time" yet. you said you seldom left the house, why don't you just try more and more to do things just-for-you like hobbies or whatnot...sorry if this advice is trite i dunno what else to offer...maybe refuse to do total blind dates....you may be able to find someone special and nice and ANY dang race...it doesn't have to be a disaster, again, i can't imagine the pain you have suffered but you deserve to be loved in that special way...perhaps the date was just the wrong person and wrong time, ugh.
saying you're black shouldn't be like admitting a flaw, damnit, and that man needs to be smacked for dealing with as such. Send him to my house, I want to whip him for upsetting a new widow taking tenative steps towards having a new life...AGH
not that it matters but i did wonder if you are biracial, as some can "pass" for white and some can "pass" for all black. either "look' can be a Godsend or a curse depending on what sort of people you live around....