Awkward, confusing situation

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I'm feeling unsure of this situation. I guess you could say I feel confused. Sorry this is going to be a long post...

In the past I have posted about my abusive exbf. About a year ago or slightly longer I was going to a medical doctor about my arm problems , had surgery etc. Anyways he became aware of the abuse. I didn't let on for a few visits but I think he sensed something wasn't quite right. Eventually I spilled my guts. The doctor was really supportive and watched out for me. He basically saved my life, helped me save my own life. I owe alot to him. Anyways while I was his patient, we formed a bit of a bond. Hard to describe, but definitely nothing inappropriate or romantic. He was retiring and at my last appt with him (this is last summer) I asked him if I could write him once in awhile to update him on my progress. He seemed quite happy about it and mentioned to send the letters to his office since he would be there for awhile cleaning and moving out. So I sent my first letter but I had a sneaky feeling maybe my letter didn't arrive. He had a witchy receptionist who had it in for me for some reason.

Anyways about a month later I approached the CEO of this medical bldg, heard he was very nice person. I didn't go into detail but I told him this particular doctor helped me, I asked if it would be okay to write him once in awhile with my progress, he agreed, but I was worried my letter didn't get through. The CEO said to give him the letter in a sealed envelope with the doctors name on it, he would make sure he gets the letter and any future letters I could do the same. So a few months later I sent my next letter. The doctor did respond to my letter and mentioned that he was away visiting family, plus he was in an accident. He was pleased to hear that I am feeling better etc. Overall it was a short letter but positive. There was no return address but I never expected him to add that.

A few months later I decided to write him another short letter. I didn't get a response. I figured maybe he doesn't want anymore letters and I will stop writing. I was happy that he wrote me once.

Fast forward to June of this year. I decided maybe I will try once more. I wrote him a short letter and at the end of it I asked "If it's okay with you, in the near future I will write you another progress letter."

Last week I received a letter from him. He said Thank you for your letter. I'm pleased to hear that you are feeling better and continuing to improve. I knew this would happen although these things take time. Good luck. This time he included his home address at the top of the letter along with his postal code.

I think I feel awkward about all of this because I am not always sure what to write him. I realize he was once my doctor and possibly they still have boundaries/ethics they have to follow when they retire. I am respectful and would never want to cross the line. I don't like this doctor romantically at all. More or less an acquaintance. If it lead to friendship well fine, if not, no big deal.

In his first letter he never wrote a return address and I figured that is within his rights.

This letter he did write his home address at the top of the letter. He never did say in the letter please write me. I assume by adding his address that is his way of letting me know yes write me?

With friends etc, you can chatter away in email, on the phone etc about anything. With him I am being careful. I don't want to get too personal. I don't want to cross any lines or make him uncomfortable so I am wary of what I say. I also sense he is shy and reserved, could see that in him while I was his patient.

I guess I find it an awkward situation. Not sure what to do.

 
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I say you really don't have anything to lose. As long as you're not talking about anything too sketchy or sending too many letters I say go for it. He is someone who has made a big impact on your life, and he obviously doesn't mind if you mail him.

 
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Originally Posted by kaylin_marie /img/forum/go_quote.gif I say you really don't have anything to lose. As long as you're not talking about anything too sketchy or sending too many letters I say go for it. He is someone who has made a big impact on your life, and he obviously doesn't mind if you mail him. I agree with the sketchy part or too many letters. I am careful what I write but sometimes I am at a loss of words of what to tell him. Is it too personal to say I went on vacation to s uch and such a place, had a great time etc etc.
I assume by adding his home address in this most recent letter he sent me, he is giving me permission or saying it is okay to write him?

I am respectful, careful and wouldn't write too often or cross any lines. I guess because it is a different situation, not use to this.

 
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I think it's great that he was someone in your life who helped you out and look at thinks positively. And if the last time he put his address. I think it's his way of letting you know if you have something to tell me about your progress you can.

 
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I don't think it's too personal to tell him whats going on in your life at all. He has some part in you being able to do those things. I'm sure he finds a lot of joy in hearing about what you're doing, and I'm sure since he doesn't practice anymore it's nice to have some one to hear from to keep him from being restless with him retirement. I think that writing you back AND including a return address is an indication that he wouldn't mind you to write him again!

 
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he wouldnt have included his postal address if he minded you sending him letters there..

I dont think it would be inappropriate to send a letter to him once in a while, telling him about how your surgeries have gone and so on.

Good luck! Its good to know you had someone to watch out for you in that difficult time.

 
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Thank you Kaylin Marie ,Iglala and pinksugar for your advice and thoughts. I really appreciate it.


Sometimes you read a letter that another person wrote to you and you are unsure of certain things people write or what they are saying to you etc. I wanted others opinions on this matter because sometimes outside people have a different insight in regards to letters, what was said etc.

He is the doctor that operated on me last year in regards to my arm.

 
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Shell, I know what you mean
I think what you've written/done is fine

 
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Originally Posted by pinksugar /img/forum/go_quote.gif Shell, I know what you mean
I think what you've written/done is fine Thanks pinksugar!
 
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Originally Posted by pinksugar /img/forum/go_quote.gif he wouldnt have included his postal address if he minded you sending him letters there..
I dont think it would be inappropriate to send a letter to him once in a while, telling him about how your surgeries have gone and so on.

Good luck! Its good to know you had someone to watch out for you in that difficult time.

I agree!
 

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