Cold feet after your married?

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has anyone gotten cold feet after they have gotten married.. i just got married and i jut cant shake the feeling like.. seeing other guys and thinking they are hot.. or knowing im married and thats it.. will this go away .. i love this man.. and dont want to feel like this?

 

Nox

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I don't know what to tell you. I would like to be sympathetic, but I cannot empathize with what must be going through your head right now. Yes, you are married. But you are still a woman, and if you are attracted to men, then you are attracted to men. However, the question is, do you subconciously seek further involvement with these other attractive men upon seeing them for the first time, or is it just mere "masculine appreciation"?

Gosh, I feel very ill-equipped to be handing out advice on this... maybe you should see a marriage counselor. Truthfully, you should have seen one before you were married, but now that the deed is done, try and sort yourself out with a professional.

 
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Maybe your just putting to much emphasis on "marriage" itself. Like in the back of your mind its just sinking in that OMG I'm married! I think it will pass. IMO I feel like your just adjusting to the whole idea of it. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, your human and so is your husband. He may be feeling some of the same feelings. It will take time to get used to the feeling of being a wife and know that you and your husband will be together always. I've been married for a long time, and I'm very happy. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Or if your feeling to overwhelmed by it a marriage councelor may be the answer your looking for. Just don't give up, my husband and I have been through some rough times, trust me, you'll want him to be there for you!! Good luck!

 
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well i am married and would NEVER cheat on my husband.. i am bipolar and feel different all the time.. i will feel omg i love this man and the next.. get away i need time to myself( which is not often). lol.. its messed up but he understands me.. and he knows im going through the "cold feet" and understands it.. i look at other guys with the attitude of.. my opportunity to be with other guys is out the window now because im married.. and i think its just kinda getting to me. i know it will fade.. but has there been girls out there with that feeling? how do they get ride of it.. or how did they deal with it? I dont think its something we need counseling over.. just i would like some guidance. from someone who maybe has gone through it, to help me through this stage.

 
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In my opinion those feelings of " I will never be with other guys" is something that should be dealt with and accepted prior to getting married.

I am not married. But I am in a longterm relationship, and I can tell you I look at other guys, but I never say..."Shooot I can't be with them" I find other men attractive but don't wish there was a window of opportunity.

Missy...I know you are young and you have a long road ahead. It seems like every few days you are posting different feelings on it. You need to ask yourself if YOU are committed to this marriage for the long haul. Being a newlywed, it just seems you shouldn't be having these feeling/problems yet. Also...how would you feel if your Husband was asking himself these questions? Probably pretty bad. Let me tell you, Men aren't dumb. They can sense unsettling feelings with their partner just as we do. Maybe you are giving off this vibe and he is in turn reacting to it. I wish you both the best of luck!

 
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my husband said he understood where i was coming from because he has felt them too... its not something i regret doing at all dont get me wrong. i love being with him.. i do have to say.. i didn't feel any different after getting married cause we had already been together so long.. i was excited..but i mean.. i am a VERY emotional person. i ALWAYS have been.. and i probably will never change that.. no matter what i am on or what i do. i am just glad my husband excepts it from me. he knows i love him and mean no harm.. its just sometime i am to hard on myself.. if i so much as look at a guy i feel as if im cheating.. and i beat myself up. then think i dont love him and it just gets carried away.. its just something i haven't learned to deal with..

 
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Well then I guess you don't need our advice. Seems like you have it figured out.

 
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umm ok.. anyways. i have sat down with my husband... and i think we have an understanding.. thanks for your help

 

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