December 2014 Low-Buy/No-Buy: Hugs, Commiseration, Confessional, and Holiday Snacks!

[JuliaGhostx3]

I really need a new bookcase. Lmao. Basically because I just started college and also I've gotten so many new (to me) books from my friend's family moving away and now I have all of these college textbooks, I have piles of books just laying around and nowhere to put them. I have no room on my current bookcase because it's small, I've had it since I was 11, and now I've outgrown it. It doesn't fully serve my bookcase needs. 

When I was browsing ikea, I found a really nice bookcase for $65, and tbh because I'm trying not to spend money, I felt so guilty at the thought of dropping $65 on it. Even though I really need it. I don't understand myself at all.

It's like. I don't really need makeup. But I feel less guilty when I'm buying it. I need clothes, I absolutely loathe clothing shopping and despise parting with my money for clothes. I love books, reading is good for you, I have no problem buying (used, cheap, thrifted - would never spend full price) books. I need a bookcase for said books, but I feel like an ass for thinking about buying one.

I ended up not purchasing it because the shipping costs were $129........ I'm going to have to wait until I can go down to a physical Ikea location. 

 

[subbes]

I really need a new bookcase

If you're in a college area I'll bet there is (or will be) someone trying to give away a bookcase at the end of the semester.  People who are moving or graduating and don't want to/can't take a bookcase with them.  Check your local Freecycle, notice boards in student areas, or Craigslist.

 

[eastofthesun]

I got an email from Sephora that I'm $36 away from making vib. This is the first time since the program started that I won't make it. I'm so happy that I have no desire to just buy something to get there like I did in previous years. New goal? Be even further away from making it next year!! /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

You are awesome and inspiring. Maybe I'll make that my goal next year too...

Spoiler

to not get anywhere close to Rouge. However, Just because of the products I use and how long they last, I know I'll at least make VIB by the end of the year, but I won't sweat that.

Someone mentioned on another thread that they had to stop reading the no/low buy threads because everyone's exceptions or "I'm not allowed to spend except on this specific upcoming sale" were too enabling.

It was a bit of a wake-up call for me. I know I use enabler logic to justify my purchases, and I'm going to make an effort to stop. Or at the very least, to put it in the enabler thread where it belongs. Talking about specific hauls is not helpful for me, and it's possibly harmful for others in the forum. I know people are really good about using spoiler tags, but please consider your phrasing. Something like "I found an exceptionally good sale on an item I've been saving for" is less enabling than "I used my $20 off Sephora VIB code to buy Naked 8 and I don't even feel bad because it's amazing" (I use that example because the sale is over now and girl, seriously, you do not need that many different neutral palettes). Let's help each other here.

That really is a wake-up call. Wow. I didn't realize how much that was hurting others' ability to stay on their no-buy. I mean, to be honest, sometimes if I read that other people in my boat were still allowing themselves somewhat big purchases, it'd kind of make me feel ok about slipping too, which is kind of bad, I guess in some ways, but good in others in that I know I'm only human, just like the others.

I'll definitely try to be better about this from now on- I mean, I kind of use these monthly threads to help me track my spending, but I guess I could start being more vague and using my personal spreadsheet for that type of stuff and not really share all of that here.

What are some of you other ladies' thoughts on this?

 

[subbes]

I'd be perfectly fine with a "spoiler any mention of purchases" policy.  

Personally I'd prefer to keep being able to mention purchases because I'm on a no-buy and I need accountability for my slip-ups: if I don't write it here no-one will know I messed up.  The secret silent dark corner is the perfect habitat for the unnecessary purchase monster.

 

[jaylilee]

You know...just my two cents here, and you can take it for what it is... I was going to put this under tags because...ranty, but....

I feel like since I really got involved in this forum back in 2013 to now, we have come up with all these little "rules" to avoid "triggers" that it's now getting a little out of control. For me, part of the appeal of this forum was just being able to vent openly to others who understood my struggle without having the feeling of walking on eggshells (which is also a feeling very much associated with trying to avoid overspending/buying anything at all), or having others walk on eggshells around me so that I am not triggered.

I feel like perhaps we just need to hold ourselves accountable to know that yes, these are triggers in this forum, but those are mild compared to the gazillion other emails, promos, enabler threads, etc out there. Part of this forum is helping up strengthen that "don't allow yourself to be tempted" muscle, and you can bet that sephora isn't going to put things under spoiler tags for us... so are we really doing ourselves any huge favors, other than setting ourselves up to fail and be upset later on when someone accidentally misses the tag?

If people wan't to do a no mention of purchase rule, then those purchases must not be included at all. But, really? let's say hypothetically that @@eastofthesun spent 500 dollars at sephora on such and such items... in my opinion, it's my own personal battle to learn to restrain myself, and others are here to help me, but it's not their fight to fight nor their problem to try and keep me/moderate me from spending. That is mine and mine alone. I'm all for moral support and I am the first to give it, but we're very close to crossing the line between being here to support each other and telling others what to do (and not in a constructive way). Like Subbes said, it's also about keeping ourselves accountable. 

Correct me if I'm wrong and sorry if I'm being rude here... but I think if someone feels like the threads are too enabling, then said person should say so and perhaps talk about why, maybe, just maybe, skipping that sale is actually not that bad of an idea for either the person being enabled or the person saying it's "allowed." This is a no-buy forum, after all, and we eventually need to start holding ourselves responsible for our actions... otherwise we're just scapegoating the whole situation. 

 

[TooMuchElectric]

I wasn't saying we should make any rules about it, I was just saying that it was a wake-up call for me, since sometimes my "oops I slipped so much" posts can end up sounding like "check out my great sale haul" posts. Thought it was worth mentioning.

 

[jaylilee]

I wasn't saying we should make any rules about it, I was just saying that it was a wake-up call for me, since sometimes my "oops I slipped so much" posts can end up sounding like "check out my great sale haul" posts. Thought it was worth mentioning.

I know. I am coming from a place of experience where a post by someone turned into a huge hoola baloo once when someone didn't stick to the "suggested" guideline, to the point it got to near name calling. I would hate for it to turn into one of these. If someone's playing the "check out my great haul" card, then perhaps we should just notify a mod to move said post to an enabler thread... 

I just think we're crossing a thin line where we might have to question where is the line when we finally have to say, "you know what, this is life, so I'm just going to do the absolute best I can at facing that fear/problem area of mine."? And maybe then it's our responsibility to think about others when we write things out, too, so that they don't sound haul-ish... but I think so long as specifics aren't mentioned, or a banner's being waved advertising why that sale is so awesome, we all should be fine. 

 

[subbes]

I, on the other hand, I have not been so good. *cries*

Aw, that's a pity to hear.  How would you feel about us (you, me, thread members) brainstorming ways to help keep that from happening again?  I'm up for it if you are, especially since whatever tactics and tips we come up with will probably work for me, too!

Let me know.

 

[recklesslysober]

You are so wise! I love that you wrote this, and I want to keep coming back to it and reminding myself about it!

Big time AMEN to the part that I bolded. So right and so good to remember!

Thank you so much. :wub:

I feel like I've been on such a journey the past couple of years and I'm glad that I can share some things that have helped me.

 

[recklesslysober]

So this month I ended up buying 3 items for myself at Sephora. With a discount and a giftcard I've been saving I ended up only spending a few dollars which was good. I didn't need any of it of course, but what else is new? I also placed a small MAC order of a few items I keep trying to get in store but they never have in stock. For clothing I bought a couple of winter items for a wardrobe refresh and some PJs. Not too bad, but not too great either. I'm working on it. July-October went really well but then the last week of November to mid-December was not great for me. Probably partly due to exam stress which was through the roof this semester. Fortunately I'm all finished now and next semester is much lighter. I'm focusing on getting back into a healthy routine with my eating and exercise habits so that should help.

Since this is the last month of the year, I've been wrapping up the year and thinking ahead to 2015.

Waiting on a couple packages I ordered in November and then I plan to go through my stash and do one more sweep to see if I can downsize anything else. I've really learned a lot about my makeup style and what kind of products I like over the past year so I have waaay higher hopes for next year!

I also did a really thorough review of everything that came in and went out for the entire year including things I purchased, things I used up, or things I got rid of. Along with item totals and amount totals. It was not pretty, but it was necessary and I know it will help me. I've also set some concrete goals for next year in terms of:

1. A monthly item limit. I'm going to set it at 5 and this will include: makeup, perfume, clothing, shoes, handbags, etc. Basically anything non-essential. I actually did really well with shoes (purchased 1 pair of boots - own 3 pairs of boots total) and handbags (purchased 0 - own 2 total) this year. Clothing needs a little bit of work, not so much with the amount I purchase but I want to come up with more of a style and purchase quality items to get tailored to actually fit me (nothing off the rack fits my shape properly at all). Makeup needs a lot of work based on this year's numbers. Perfume I didn't really have any before but I found an indie brand I like and I have a feeling that could get out of control if I let it.

2. A list of items I want to use up. It's about 20 items and includes blushes, eyeshadows, lipsticks, and glosses which are my problem areas. Anything from that list that isn't used up by the end of the year is getting tossed.

3. Improving other areas of my life so I don't use purchasing as a crutch. I've been focusing on developing hobbies like yoga and other fitness classes as well as getting into a more holistic self-care routine, so I want to continue that next year.

 

[jaylilee]

Uuughhh I am sick. I've been fighting the same cold now for about two weeks and it's been killing me. My comfort thing to do has been to watch youtube videos of people doing cool things with their MU despite me having zero desire to wear any, but it starts inspiring the gimmies. So I'm off watching youtube videos and off to watch chick flicks on netflix/eat soup forever.

 

[JuliaGhostx3]

Uuughhh I am sick. I've been fighting the same cold now for about two weeks and it's been killing me. My comfort thing to do has been to watch youtube videos of people doing cool things with their MU despite me having zero desire to wear any, but it starts inspiring the gimmies. So I'm off watching youtube videos and off to watch chick flicks on netflix/eat soup forever.

I feel you on being sick. It sucks. The worst part is that the NYC buses now have this sound clip that plays over the loud speaker. "Attention all passengers. It's cold and flu season. Please sneeze or cough into your elbow. Thank you." Or something like that lmao. It's soo funny though

 

[Deareux]

Since I started my indie makeup line, I've had less money than I normally do, since a lot of what I make at my part-time job has to go back into business expenses. I won't be making any net profit for a few months.

With that said, I've also tried to cut back on spending in general since I have some high dollar things I hope to one day obtain. So far I've been really good about buying makeup. The only makeup product I've purchased since the beginning of the month is some more foundation. It's really the only product that I consistently use. Everything else, I'm pretty content with. There really aren't any new products that I have my eye on except for the holiday Guerlain Meteorites, which I'll most likely purchase using Christmas gift money. I currently only have 3 subscriptions and don't plan on adding any more. And since I do have the supplies to make my own goods, I haven't bought eyeshadows for months. I don't think I'll ever need to buy eyeshadow now that I can just whip up my own.

But although I've been good with my personal spending, I have a lot that goes into start up costs. Though, I think it's a small price to pay to be able to make a dream come tue.

 

[Jenn10]

No purchase after last hiccup, and no starbucks either-- Can't believe Christmas is next week!

 

[annatomical]

I really need a new bookcase. Lmao. Basically because I just started college and also I've gotten so many new (to me) books from my friend's family moving away and now I have all of these college textbooks, I have piles of books just laying around and nowhere to put them. I have no room on my current bookcase because it's small, I've had it since I was 11, and now I've outgrown it. It doesn't fully serve my bookcase needs. 

When I was browsing ikea, I found a really nice bookcase for $65, and tbh because I'm trying not to spend money, I felt so guilty at the thought of dropping $65 on it. Even though I really need it. I don't understand myself at all.

It's like. I don't really need makeup. But I feel less guilty when I'm buying it. I need clothes, I absolutely loathe clothing shopping and despise parting with my money for clothes. I love books, reading is good for you, I have no problem buying (used, cheap, thrifted - would never spend full price) books. I need a bookcase for said books, but I feel like an ass for thinking about buying one.

I ended up not purchasing it because the shipping costs were $129........ I'm going to have to wait until I can go down to a physical Ikea location. 

Have you considered a second hand book shelf?  You may be able to get one that's already assembled and even cheaper than Ikea! /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 

[CurlyTails]

Hi ladies! I've been doing pretty well this month, mostly because I've been too busy to shop! Christmas really snuck up on me. I've done a good job using sales and coupons for presents. I'm $.84 away from making platinum at Ulta so I'll be making a small purchase this month. I need to go through my inventory to see what I need going into the 100 day no buy.

I still need a few gifts for people at work and had the brilliant idea of shopping my stash to put together goodie bags. I have tons of unopened shower gels and lotions and the like that would make good gifts I think. That way I can save money and avoid the shopping craziness this weekend!

I also cancelled one of my subs this morning (the priciest one I had, at that).

My real weakness this month will be after Christmas sales so I need to be mindful of that.

 

[Glamgal98]

Anyone have an ulta code they won't be using?

 

[eastofthesun]

Aw, that's a pity to hear.  How would you feel about us (you, me, thread members) brainstorming ways to help keep that from happening again?  I'm up for it if you are, especially since whatever tactics and tips we come up with will probably work for me, too!

Let me know.

Aww, thanks @subbes. You are awesome! That would be really cool. Maybe I could make a separate thread for it? I'm not sure. I want to say I should return some of the items. And now that the newness has worn off, it might be a good idea. I'll seriously consider it. Of course that can't always be the solution. I'm really swayed by deals, as we all are. I'm starting to think I shouldn't buy anything for myself all year except around the holidays and April for all the good sales..... but it could really backfire.

Waiting on a couple packages I ordered in November and then I plan to go through my stash and do one more sweep to see if I can downsize anything else. I've really learned a lot about my makeup style and what kind of products I like over the past year so I have waaay higher hopes for next year!

3. Improving other areas of my life so I don't use purchasing as a crutch. I've been focusing on developing hobbies like yoga and other fitness classes as well as getting into a more holistic self-care routine, so I want to continue that next year.

I have also learned a TON about myself and products that work for me, my style, etc. I feel like this will really help me with spending next year and beyond. I feel like I won't be doing as much 'experimental shopping' looking for things that will work for me!

I love the idea of focusing on other areas of your life to work on- fitness, health, self-care, savings, etc. I am really going to try to make this a priority for myself this year too!

Uuughhh I am sick. I've been fighting the same cold now for about two weeks and it's been killing me. My comfort thing to do has been to watch youtube videos of people doing cool things with their MU despite me having zero desire to wear any, but it starts inspiring the gimmies. So I'm off watching youtube videos and off to watch chick flicks on netflix/eat soup forever.

Sorry you've been sick- are you feeling any better? I hate that you can't watch makeup videos without getting tempted. That stinks! But I totally agree, without fail I'll see something that I'll start wanting! I love the idea of chick flicks on netflix! Heheh, enjoy!

---

I'm winding down my year- guys, we only have 11 more days of this month/year. We have to make them count! Don't let anything get to you- stand your ground!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!

 

[jaylilee]

Sorry you've been sick- are you feeling any better? I hate that you can't watch makeup videos without getting tempted. That stinks! But I totally agree, without fail I'll see something that I'll start wanting! I love the idea of chick flicks on netflix! Heheh, enjoy!

It's not so bad when I'm not sick lol but when I'm sick and feeling depressed that's when the gimmies kick in, so I've avoided youtube in general except for a few people I follow pretty regularly (and they're project panners, which is why). 

Still fighting the cold ;-; ... family members are sick, therefore I am sick. I have a crappy immune system.

I feel you on being sick. It sucks. The worst part is that the NYC buses now have this sound clip that plays over the loud speaker. "Attention all passengers. It's cold and flu season. Please sneeze or cough into your elbow. Thank you." Or something like that lmao. It's soo funny though

LOL! Ugh I feel for you on the clips :C I'm glad they didn't play that back when I was living in NYC. It would have driven me crazy. They doing that in the trains yet? 

 

[eastofthesun]

Hey guys!!! Only 10 days left (counting today) until the end of this month! STAY STRONG!!! Keep checking in and let us know how you're doing!

Ok, for me, I slipped up, which I won't go into here, but if you care I'll be in the 'I fell off the wagon' thread to do some more explaining. Eugh. But basically after my last slip-up, I spent $14.60. Not a terrible slip-up, but still! I am seriously considering returning one of the 'planned items' from my last slip-up that I have not worn yet and so don't need....

I think I can remain strong the rest of this month. I'll have Christmas to look forward to, then New Year's Eve!!! (Anyone doing any cool looks for both?) Then my official 100-day no-buy will start on the 1st... with the exception of picking up my b-day presents from you-know-where. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Ok, let's end this month and year as strong as possible, ladies. YOU GO GIRLS!!!