first love

[xXxBeckyxXx]

Is it true that u wont love anyone as much as ur first love and will never get over them? and for those who are not with there first love do u wish u was back together with them or are u happy now? and do u ever stop loving them?

sorry about all the questions im just curious

thnx,

becky x x x

 

[girl_geek]

I think it's true that you will never *forget* your first love, but there's no reason in the world that you can't love another person more!

I only had one serious relationship before I met my hubby. I was friends with my ex for a while before we started dating, and then we dated for about a year in college. Like most people with their first love (I think) I felt "head over heels" ... Even though we were young (18-19) and didn't discuss marriage, I "knew" we'd stay together forever, get married after college, etc, etc... However that obviously didn't happen

During the last few months of our relationship I began to realize that we weren't as compatible as I thought we were, but I ignored all the warning signs until he broke up with me. It was a friendly breakup but it was still devastating to me -- and it didn't help that I had neglected to form any close friendships while we were dating, I thought he was all I needed. So I felt very much alone. We tried to be friends afterwards, but for about a year after the breakup it really took a toll on my emotions, because every time we were together I was just reminded of my feelings for him....

But I eventually got over it. I started making more friends in college, and going far away for a summer internship and making new friends there really boosted my self-confidence and completed the healing process for me. (Even my roommate said she noticed a difference in my self-confidence and maturity when I got back from that internship!) For my last year in college I actually enjoyed being single, and had a great time with some of my friends -- and on the rare occasions I did talk to my ex, I didn't want to get back together anymore. I was finally happy with who I was, and didn't feel that I needed him to be complete or happy.

So when I met my hubby right after I graduated and we started dating, I knew that I was dating him because I liked him, not because I was desparate or lonely! (In fact, I met him the summer between college and graduate school, and I had planned on being single all through grad school, thinking I would be too busy studying for relationships! So he took me by surprise!

) And now, I don't miss my first love at all -- I can now see that hubby and I are a much better couple than my ex and I ever were. Even though I still think my ex is a very nice, wonderful guy, our personalities just didn't "click" like hubby and I. I always had a hard time figuring out what my ex was thinking or where he was coming from, but with hubby, it's very easy for us to understand each other!

My ex and I still talk on occasion (like one email every 6 months or something), because I do consider him a friend, though not a close friend. So I guess yes, I have stopped loving him in a romantic way, though I still care about him as a friend and hope he's happy in life! (And I think he is, he just got married and his wife is a much better match for him than I ever was!)

Sorry that is so long, but I think each person is going to have a slightly different answer to your questions based on their experiences!

 

[jennycateyez]

Umm.... Good Question, Well Im With My First Love Now, Im 22 And I Never Fell In Love Intil Now I Been With Him For 2 Years And I Wanna Get Married To Him I Dont See Myself With Anybody Else, So I Hope I Dont Get A Chance To Know If I Will Ever Love Someone More Then Him

 

[redrocks]

I'll never forget my first love because he was also my "first". But I can honestly say I'm glad I'm not still with him.

Everyone is different but for the most part, I think people tend to move on and find another to love.

My now husband was my "third love" if you will, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. We were meant to be together.

 

[Amethyst]

No, its not true. Give it time and you'll get over him.

My *first* love was my ex-husband and I have not one ounce of love or affection for him. Come to think of it, I'm relieved we're no longer together. The best thing I ever did was break up with him. In fact, I wish I could erase those wasted years of my life.

How's that for a emphatic "no" ?

 

[Andi]

hm...my first love cheated on me and dumped me in a really bad way. they say guys who hurt you are the ones you´d always take back for some reason (could be totally true in my case, I didn´t run into him yet to find out if that´s actually true)

so I really hope I get over him sometime. I think everybody´s different so you can´t really make this a general rule.

 

[phoenix461]

I don't think u really forget any of them but the really good ones or the really bad ones sure stick in ur mind. It's all a part of life and hopefully u learn something (be it good or bad) from each relationship and use that lesson well.

 

[Andi]

Originally Posted by phoenix461 I don't think u really forget any of them but the really good ones or the really bad ones sure stick in ur mind. It's all a part of life and hopefully u learn something (be it good or bad) from each relationship and use that lesson well. well said...you´re a wise woman

 

[Pauline]

I think it's different for everyone.Some people do get over and forget their first love but other's may always remember and wonder about their first love. A lot of people reunite years later becuase of first love.

First love doesn't necassarly mean the first person you fell in love with, it could actually be the first time a person has fallen in love.

Sometimes people never get 'over' their first love becuase they haven't been able to have closure.

 

[phoenix461]

I certainly won't take back anyone that has hurt me. I have one that I ended the relationship with over 11 years ago and he called me recently. I let my answering machine pick up and have not returned the call. Hey - if he did not realize what he had - TOUGH LUCK! What is one man's loss is another man's gain.

Andrea - u r young with a bright future ahead of u and u can get men to drop like flies so keep on trekking!!

 

[Andi]

Originally Posted by phoenix461 I certainly won't take back anyone that has hurt me. I have one that I ended the relationship with over 11 years ago and he called me recently. I let my answering machine pick up and have not returned the call. Hey - if he did not realize what he had - TOUGH LUCK! What is one man's loss is another man's gain.
Andrea - u r young with a bright future ahead of u and u can get men to drop like flies so keep on trekking!!

you kick ass Rosie!!! I think it´s so cool you didn´t pick up or return the call. that´s what I´d tell my girlfriends to do too-I just never listen to my own advices

thanks for saying all this, you´re so kind :icon_love

 

[phoenix461]

Andrea - not being kind baby - just honest! We all travel different paths in this life and love is not an easy road to travel. Yes, taking our own advice is always difficult but, u learn in time.

 

[Liz]

i don't think you forget your first love. i also think you won't have a love like it because of the whole experience.

but i do think that you can love someone more than that first one.

 

[girl_geek]

Originally Posted by phoenix461 I don't think u really forget any of them but the really good ones or the really bad ones sure stick in ur mind. It's all a part of life and hopefully u learn something (be it good or bad) from each relationship and use that lesson well. Very true, my first relationship taught me a lot about what I really wanted in future relationships!

 

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by Liz i don't think you forget your first love. i also think you won't have a love like it because of the whole experience.
but i do think that you can love someone more than that first one.

summed up, that's what i was gonna say

 

[GreekLatina]

hmm...just lost my first love about 2 months...im still devastated...and i still think about him all the time. Though i know our break up was for the better (he assumed I'd put up with alot more, maybe from past experiences, who knows) He was also about a year and a half older then me. But have a new bf now though i think its more like a "fling", leasts thats how i feel. Though i havent had the ultimate test of willpower as to if i would get back together with him, i've absolutely avoided him.

 

[XOffendr]

I don't think you ever forget the person you felt love for, because they set the standard that all potential boyfriends must meet and hopefully exceed down the road...

As for me, my first 'love' was something I experienced seven years ago...It took about a year to even look at another man, but honestly, given the chance, now, I would never go back to that relationship. Hindsight is really 20/20, and all the things we find charming and exciting and appealing in our youth, don't seem so novel and thrilling after a little experience. Our values change, and we seek out substance in a person who will work with us toward a healthy relationship. Sooo, I guess I can say I love the memories of my own first love, but I don't care for or hold onto feelings for the actual guy I was involved with, at the time. In fact, we're friends, now, which was a fairly recent development, and it's a chance for closure a lot of people don't get...Although he's a really creative talented and dynamic personality, I'm just not attracted to him, or interested in pursuing anything other than a friendship.

 

[MACGoddess]

Quite honestly my first love is Rob, even though I have dated a couple of other guys... I think my other relationships were more infatuations that kind of died when I realized the other person isn't who I thought they were...

And I will definitely say that I think I will NEVER forget my first love... I also very much doubt I would ever get over him if anything were to happen God forbid!!

 

[Salope]

For good or for bad, there's no love like first love. I'd also add I feel like one's first love experience sets them up for all their relationships afterwards, especially when it's negative. I guess in a way it molds you, like you were fresh clay.

Do you think we ever really get over our first love? It took me years to get over mine and I still don't think I'm there 100%, nor do I think I'll ever be. I feel like there's always that hole in your heart, however small, and you just learn to live with it.

 

[MACGoddess]

I think it would depend on the person whether you get over the first love or not... I probably will never ever get over someone like Rob, but then it is mainly bc of our relationship... The passion is there but then he is also truly my best friend, I could care less if I see anyone else in a single day, but if I get to be with him all day I don't need anyone else! And I am a VERY social person...

So because of our relationship I would probably never get over him, he is such a massive part of my life I don't know what I would do with myself if he weren't there anymore. (Plus he is freakin HAWT!!)