Originally Posted by debbiedeb77 /img/forum/go_quote.gif oh yes girl, i had major cold feet but i just decided to jump in with two feet lol, however i think my case was understandable since i only knew him for 3 months before we got married....were going on 10 yrs in aug! marriage is hard work but absolutely worth it!! Me too. I only knew my husband for a short time (1st date February, 22nd) before we got unofficially engaged in April (in July for my birthday he gave me a gorgeous ring!) and then we married on January 30th and that was only because we couldn't get a reception hall sooner! So in short we were together only 11 months and most of that time was spent planning the wedding. I was okay up until the month prior to the wedding and then I just freaked! A little bit about my background: I had come from a very emotionally abusive family - my father is mentally unstable and both my mom and father had a horrendous marriage. She finally left him 3 years ago. I attribute a lot of my "nerves/hysteria" to feelings I had towards leaving both my mom and sister alone with that maniac. I felt as though I was abandoning them. There was a lot going on with me because of my crazy home life. I was a crazy mess, crying fits, feelings of being "trapped" - I thought I was losing my mind. And throughout it all, my husband (then fiance) was the best. I remember standing in our new apartment and sobbingly telling him - "I'll never see my mom and sister again" - and he said "but we're only 5 minutes away - you could walk to them if you had to." Now it's laughable, but it was a traumatic time - no joke.
On our wedding day all the fears and jitters dissappeared, and I remember seeing his beaming smiling face at the altar waiting for me to walk down the aisle, and all I could do was smile from ear to ear! I felt such a sense of peace and contentment and I knew, that I knew it was the right decision to get married! Anyway - we've been married 16 beautiful years! And if I had it to do all over again, I would in a heartbeat! He is truly my soul mate and I can't imagine myself with anyone else.
So, I'm saying all of this as an encouragement because at the time I didn't really know why I was feeling the way I did at the time. Why I had such feelings of regret and dread when just a few months prior I was so excited about starting a new life with a wonderful guy. As women, I think security is a major need of ours and while we're choosing our mate and anticipating our lives together, we forget to factor in the element of uncertainty that ANY decision contains - especially something as life-changing as a marriage!
Hope this helps someone who may need to hear it.
CooCoo