I think I am having a breakdown (Maybe *T*; SI)

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Dec 28, 2006
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I'm freaking out right now. I jsut completely lost it and cut up my leg. Bad. From like ankle to calf. I haven't kept anything down in weeks, I relapsed in my eating disorder so badly. I had to go to the pharmacy and get butterlfy bandages to close htem up. A lot of htem are bad and my boyfriend is trying to get me to go to the ER but my insurance lapsed and I can't and I don't know what to do. I don't have anywhere to go right now and I just need someone right now. Because he is 3000 miles away. And I am freezing cold. And I don't know why.

I wrapped up my leg and am trying to stop the bleeding.

I am having to do my thesis on domestic violence and it is killing me. I keep having nightmares and flashbacks and now all this. I need help but cna't afford therapy or anything. I have nowhere to go and I just need someone. I'm sorry ot post this and I don't want to burden anyone. I'm so sorry.

Ok I used to feel like that a lot and it still happens from time to time. The stress takes over and you feel you're sinking and everything is wrong. When you feel like crying, cry but don't let the negativity take over you. Try to be calm and resist the urge of cutting yourself, it makes you release some of the tension and the feelings you're having but it's not worth it. Look at it as a phase it's bad and suddenly everything about life seems wrong, but remember it will pass. Control it, don't let it control you. I don't know if it is the same thing but from time to time I have like some kind of panic attacks and if I can't make it go away when it's starting I accept it's coming and let it pass over me like a storm, after a while everything clears up and I feel better. It mostly happens at nights. Don't let it take over you. Don't listen to what your mind is telling you right now, all the bad things about you, and about everything else, don't listen to it. Let the thoughts come and go and don't elaborate into them. Try to sleep, take care of the wound as best as you can, get comfy in your bed and try to sleep. Tomorrow you'll feel better.

I'm saying this according to what I've felt and I hope it helps you in some way. I've gotten therapy but I've never met somebody I've felt really understood me. I had to find it myself, think about me and what I feel and why is it that I feel it. When I figured out they were like episodes triggered by any negative thought I had I started to understand and I just do as I told you and wait for it to go away. The key is not to let it sink you, not to pay attention to what your mind is saying at those moments. Of course this is not going to cure it, you still have to get therapy and me too but the attitude you have in the moment this breakdowns are happening can make them go away faster or slower.

Sorry if this doesn't apply. Hope I helped even a tiny bit.

If everything else fails, some smilies can always help...


awww...I don't have any words of wisdom, but it seems like you're getting overwhelmed right now with stress...maybe take a small break and do something nice for yourself..like a bubble bath or watch a feel good movie. Sometimes just not thinking about your problems for awhile can help. Or something that helps me when I'm feeling really down...I'll read old letters or old diary entries that make me feel loved.

sweetheart you dont have to appologise for seeking help. I dont have anything wise or sensible to say right now, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone and if you need to talk to make yourself feel better we're here for you at MUT

You can pm me any time too

We have a mental health clinic attached to our Public health Dept. They have a sliding scale and it's super cheap to nothing depending on your salary. I used it when I was first diagnosed with Anxiety/depression. I don't know what you have available but we have a number to call for emergencies and they get you in fast. What about your college? Any health clinics or counselors that students can use???

If nothing else, then I'm glad you reached out here. Relapses happen and it's nothing to be ashamed of. We all need help sometimes. You have had offers but pm if you need someone else to talk with and please try looking into my suggestions. Keep us updated. We're here to listen.

I'm still not in a good place at all but i did make in back to school so i'm not alone anymore. I swear i will read the pms and write you all back but i'm just out of it still. i appreciate everyones support. it means so much to me.

Just remember you arent alone and alot of us can really relate. I really hope you feel better, its really hard but atleast you have people you can share this with.

*hugs* I have been there, so I know what you are going through. We are all here to listen so anytime you feel you need to vent, feel free. I hope you get to feeling better.

Sending you lots of love and support. Hang tough in there... it will pass and you will only come out of it stronger.

Please please hun, get some help!! You should not go through this alone! Go to a clinic or at least call a hotline or something! We're here if you need to talk, but seriously you should see someone. I wish there was something we could do for you.

We're pullin' for you!! Remember that!!

Please seek help. Isn't there any clinics or anything you can go to even without insurance?

I'm sending you a ton of love, support, and best wishes here, but I don't have much wisdom I'm afraid. Is there any kind of free mental health clinic at your university. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.

Please sweetheart seek some help and talk to someone. Anything in life that you are going through you dont have to go through it alone. Please talk to someone.

Well I woke up after sleeping the day away. Which means i missed my classes.

I just don't know what to do still. I feel very overwhelmed. Just by waking up.


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