Kee's Mom Rant

[Nox]

Well Kee, think of it this way: The more time, energy and focus you put into having the life you want, the less apt you'll be to have your mother ruin it for you, her behavior simply will not be given the attention it needs to fester.

Don't spend you time worrying about her and the antics she brings, she actually should be flattered that you're thinking of her so much. Try and re-focus that energy on you, your husband and making your life together fulfilling. Then whatever the latest drama she brings will naturally fall to the wayside. It works, I do it, and I'm happier that way.

And of course, moving over a thousand miles away doesn't hurt either.

 

[Shelley]

Kee, Andi, Solimar, and daerOn,

I can relate to everything you posted.

My parents are abusive and manipulating. I found out their true colors not long ago.

I was in a very violent relationship and even though I was never close to my parents, I finally told them, hoping maybe for some support. I got the opposite. I was told I deserved to be hit. There were times I came to their house with injuries and asked them to take me to the hospital. They would say 'No, suffer!" I recall one time bleeding from the head, head injury. I came to them because I wanted someone to go with me but instead they slammed the door in my face, told me too bad.

They witnessed my now exbf hit me at a bbq and afterwards said I deserved it. When I eventually left him, I found out they were in contact with him, 'friends' and would often tell him where I was which lead him to stalking and attacking me. I use to tell them where I was just in case something happened to me, wasn't aware they were passing the information tohim. They even asked me once if I knew what type of funeral I wanted when I die. I asked why, they said in case he kills you, but they said it in a cold manner, like it was a joke.

I never knew exactly why they were like this towards me. Several months ago I asked. My mom said they only wanted one child (I have one older brother). I said if you didn't want me why didn't you give me up for adoption or abortion.?She said they didn't want to look bad in front of others. I also asked her why they treated me the way they did in regards to my ex's abuse. She said "You weren't wanted in the first place, not deserving of our love, protection. Whether you live, die, or maimed, so be it!"

Growing up they were never supportive, always emotionally abusive, sometimes physically. They left me in situations which were harmful, never told I was loved, no affection, nothing.

And like you Kee, I always think they will change or maybe I will do something to please them for once but it never seems to work.

Unfortunately parents like this rarely change. It's hard because you want a relationship but then get knocked down.

Hugs to all of you.

 

[Karen_B]

Canadian_gurl, that is one of the most appalling stories I have ever read. I cannot believe how someone could treat their children like that. I cannot believe how someone could treat ANYONE like that. You deserve a lot better!

*hugs*

 

[PaperFlowers]

Kee- I am so sorry youre having to go through all that. (My apostrophe key is all weird WTF).

Anyway...at some point, yes, it is best just to cut ties. My mother is very similar to yours, it sounds, and despite her medical problems (some of which are the reason she is the way she is), once I leave home, I have no plans on coming back except for family visits-- and if she does not get help, she will not see any future grandchildren she might have.

And it makes me feel so guilty. It does. I know she has sacrificed a lot for me, and has taken care of me...but it just cannot happen at the price of my emotional sanity and well being. I do NOT want to start harming myself again, drinking again, or do anything like that. I just want to be happy.

That being said, I will probably support her when and if the time ever comes. But as for having a fantastic mother daughter relationship, I just dont know if it is even possible anymore.