- May 31, 2005
- Reaction score
Ok, here it is.. busted the BF having a "mental affair" with a woman who he knew 10 years ago and lost touch with until recently. I saw an email in the beginning that was not kosher, copied and pasted it into an email to the BOTH of them, she emailed me back with this diatribe on how VERY married she is, has no feeling like "that" for my BF and wont be having an affair with HIM or anyone else.. well, 3 weeks later, found MORE stuff, about houses and having kids etc.. and had it out with him, then called her up, left her a hate message on how i knew about what was going on and i WAS GOING TO PROVIDE HER HUSBAND (A POLICE OFFICER!) with all the info i had.. which was plenty damaging.... She emailed me with "so sorry for hurting you, this was a mental affair that never intended to happen, it was wrong and yes i told my husband and i will never bother you or BF again". BF and I had battled from last wednesday AM when this happened until Sunday. He called me up, wanted me to meet him for dinner on monday.. why i say? he wanted to talk about this, he loves me, is sorry, lets see if we can work it out, blah blah blah.. i refuse at first, but he really wanted to. So i conceded. BF works weekend night shift which is 11 hours 9pm to 8am friday, saturday, sunday & then Monday night is his last night of his shift. So he went home monday morning, slept until 5pm, came up for dinner for 7pm. He did alot of the talking, he took responsibility as well as apologized for his "fantasy". He was angry that i told everyone, angry that i told his MOM, as well as feeling guilty. He said "i did this, and i know you dont trust me, and you have every right to be hurt and angry but i want to try to see if we can salvage this, because we are better people and we have history. i asked him why he said those things to her, when he has NO money for a house, not really a big fan of kids and couldn't even IMAGINE buying real-estate cuz he is so in debt. And where was SHE when he had all these crisises that i was there to support him through.. He said see.. it was a fantasy, you KNOW i have crap credit and in debt, so you KNOW i can't buy a house ANY time soon and you know that i am not great with kids either! which is so VERY true.So, after almost 2 hours of this, i decided we would 'see where it goes'. he had to get to work for 9pm. Tuesday morning, he IM'd me to ask if i would see him for coffee.. I did. We talked again for about and hour and half.. he has now been awake since Monday night, 5pm! He had to go back to work for mandatory training for 11am which would get out at 1:30. well, he asked for the chance. .he came to ME.. not me going to HIM. We said alot of mean things to each other. At least he took responsibility. Later Tuesday afternoon, i see an email. the subject said "past bad idea and the future". it was CC'd to me and actually an email to HER. he said he didn't know what to say so he would be direct that he came into his world on july 3rd and although he has enjoyed chatting and her company, it didn't come without a price, and that price is strain on his relationship with me. But now it has to end, he is sorry if it hurts her or comes out of left field, but its for the best".. I did NOT ASK HIM TO DO THIS!!! He was awake now, for 22.5 hours when he sent that email. Most people seem to think that this is his way of showing me he is serious. He has NOTHING to gain by lying, just everything to LOSE by it. He knows i am ready to walk.. if he was so unhappy, why come to me for another chance? Why send that email? I have done alot of snooping lately, i have not found a single inkling of her since.. i did find one single line email, about acreage...but NOTHING else. I can't help the snooping, but he has called me as he said he would, he has been forward and honest so far.. I am just really on edge, dont know if i wanna stay or go.. Friends are real supportive and stuff, those who know him can't BELIEVE this happened, as its not his M.O... i need to try to relax and see what happens.. anyone ever have a relationship survive something like this?