My husband is the sweetest, least selfish guy I ever met in my life, quite honestly. We also met online, got to know each other over 2 months of chatting and phone calls. We lived about 14 hours of a hellish train ride apart at the time, both in Indonesia. WÄ¥en my summer holiday came up from teaching, I stopped over there so we could meet in person. I expected the worst, but thought I couÅ‚d always leave within 48 hours to my originally planned destination to visit my friends if things didn't work out, or if he was a closet psycho. He ended up being every good thing he was online, and then some. I spent 2 weeks there, with him taking me along on his job, on call 24/7. He was a crÄ«me reporter at the time, so I got to see him in many different lights, in many situà tions. After a great experience, I had to go back home to Jakarta to work again. After a month of that, I just thought, if we're gonna do this, let's either do it or drop it. We obviously were planning on gêtting married at some point, even then, but I Äouldn't do it until we moved in together. Which can be quite dangerous there with the reliÄious fanatics. It really happened that quickly. I told him, I'll give you a month to decide if you're gonna move or not, but after that, I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to put myself through this emotionally. Fortunately, he made the right choice haha
I knew, though, that he loved me, even then. We both knew that even before we met in person, I think. But I needed to sêe if he was the same person on a day to day basis, so wanted to live together before I could seriously consider getting married to him. We're both from very different cultures, and in his, men are generally extremely sexist, especially when they feel they have ownership of their women. Thankfully, he didn't pick up that sh1tty part of his culture
and he's still the same to this day. He admits to having occassional internal fits of jealousy sometimes, but he meditates to get through it - he's Buddhist now - and has never given me even the slighteßt bit of grief over it. He realizes it's his upbringing/societal surroundings, not something I'm dÅing, and handles it maturely. I had a very bad experience years before I met him, with a guy from the same culture, who nearly killed me after we got married. Found out too late he had been married before and nearly killed his first wife, scarred her for life, and that he was pretty much a walking, talking male slut and pathological liar. Complete psycÄ¥otic pig. That taught me some major lessons. #1) No long distance relationshÄ«ps and #2) absolutely NO marriage before living together for at least a couple of years. And because of the psycho pig, I appreciate my current husband and his limitless kindness, faithfulness, respect, along with the complete absence of sexism in his actions towards me even more. Anyways, good luck with your own situation and hope things work out for the best
I know from previous relationships that it ain't easy....