Thank you so much~ I am so grateful for everyone here and how supportive you all are, I don't have a lot in common with most of the people in the community I live in which makes this a lifeline. So even more so than you can all imagine. I am so sad, it's a weight on me, and I'm hurting for the pain my son is going through just as much, he is truly despondent and making foolish decisions based on grief. he is a teenager and already dealing with things in less than optimal ways. It's so hard, especially when your child has special needs. (sort of off topic, but not really). He and I have an agreement to try to start this year off right and get him some new healthier friends who are going somewhere instead of the kids he's been hanging out with and counting on who haven't been there for him when he needs them. They only seem to be around when they need something from him, money, food, travel, etc. It's a hard lesson to learn and a painful one, especially when you're not great with social skills (he has Asperger's) I wish I could make it easier, but I think I've just enabled it. This was just terrible horrific icing on the cake.
Again, the support here has been a G-dsend and I will be forever grateful, getting on here at night and losing myself in makeup, something I love, and the others who love it as much has been getting me through, not just this, but the other difficulties we've gone through lately. You are all in my thoughts and I'm sending good energy out your way as well. It's all a give and take. I just wish the taking wasn't so painful.