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Omg i loved the teacher sending home a note to his dad part. I died. It's an awesome feeling when parents stand up for you. I ended up having to go to a specialized HS it was awful we did like second grade worksheets, there's no way i got a true HS education. Well we had to do IEPs, my last year there they have nothing that requires me to stay at that school, i no longer dont complete my homework, my emotional issues had settled down, etc. So we go into my last IEP and my new goals are now "no cursing" (not at teachers,in general) "bring home contacts" these stupid points papers that mean nothing every day, and "continue WorkAbility" an awful program where our school subsidized us doing work at local crap jobs 50% of us were never hired after. My mother argued with all of them, straight up told them they were stupid not educational/emotional goals. If i wasnt being disrespectful there was no reason i had to curse less, the contracts wete stupid i never got less than 95% of my points and she's a busy woman and I'm graduating in 6 months not a child. She told them unless I had an awful day that needed to be signed to consider them signed and leave them at school. Last but least was WorkAbility, they pleaded with her argued with her told her they wouldn't pass me if I didn't get another job (I've now done 3 jobs/ 30 weeks working my A** off for companies only to be told repeatedly when I was done there wasn't a place for me), at this point I've taken initiative and started a college course on my own, my mom looked them in the eye said that my plans were not to be working in a minimum wage job my entire life and to count my college course as WorkAbility. They argued with her but shed had none it. She told them I had done the work experience part i had participated fully and now I was preparing for MY after graduation plan. After so many crappy years and arguing with each other 24/7 it was amazing to have her on my side lol.

 
@ - The eagle scout story is a great example of things coming out in the wash.  Your son had to deal with a crappy situation, but it turned out better.  He had the tools to succeed anywhere.  Good job mom!

 
ohsailor said:
Also, I've been having a cruddy time lately, too! I got Strep throat with super swollen tonsils and a REALLY bad, rancid ear infection. I've been fighting with my insurance company to pay my $4,000/month Humira treatments, and JUST when I was catching up money-wise, my poor diabetic pooch got sick again (throwing up, shivering, loss of appetite)- it was another bout on pancreatitis along with his blood sugar going super high for NO REASON, but it cost $600 total, and i have to bring him in next weeks for shots. My poor little guy. He has been through more than most humans I know, and he's such a fighter... I don't like to talk about this, but once he was given about a 15% chance to survive. I was trying to make myself be at peace with it, but he fought through it because he's freaking amazing. He's worth every penny I have, I'm more frustrated that he inherited his mama's (my) health issues and can't catch a break :( /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />
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Oh honey  :hugs3:   :hugs3:   :hugs3:  big internet hugs!!! Fighting with insurance sucks! I wish they could walk in the shoes of the people with afflictions they try to save a buck on, ugh. A family member with ms had the drug company (the one his dr wanted him on) contact him and gave him a workaround to get on the drug, but for the love of god there are things you NEED...we aren't talking vanity here yeeesh! 

Poor puppy  :scared:  hope he feels better soon!

 
BB019 said:
The scouting issue was the scoutmasters son being a dick, and not happy with Nick (Nick is a very well liked young man).  The son was a introvert (homeschooled and sheltered) and Nick an extrovert, and immediately popular when he joined the troop.  Parents and scouters alike all said the same thing, the issue was NOT with my son, but rather the scoutmasters son.  That being said, we moved to the country and there is only one troop, one scoutmaster, and a slew of lazy ass parents who didn't want to step up and take his role, so we lost because the pussy said either Nick goes, or I go.  THANK GOD!  We changed troops and the new one was more than amazing, Nick excelled there and decided he did want his eagle, all because of the attitude of the new scoutmaster (who treated the older boys with respect, humor, and like young adults) and it was his leadership that helped Nick make his decision to finish (he started as a cub scout at 4 - why I quit college after 2 years, when he was 7...scouting and sports were more important, in my book, and his dad would have let him quit because that would mean his dad had to do LESS parenting) but it was great because Nick truly did his eagle project on his own, in fact he had to get city approval and some engineers to sign off on his project, and I didn't even know about it!  By this time he was in IVLA part time, a senior with a part time schedule at his actual physical school, and we lived in the country so he had his own car and would handle stuff on his own.  Now, I'm not saying the kid wasn't lazy, but when he needed to, he took care of his stuff.  And actually, his dad and I used to marvel at Nick's leadership skills...he would invite his friends over, and then say "I have to do XYZ before we can go play" and he would organize the chores and work that needed to be done, and basically oversee his friends!  It was a crack up!  We'd watch and then I'd catch Nick's eye (Nick and I have a connection that is pretty special so if I hold his gaze long enough, his expression says a thousand words!!) and he'd give me this biiiiiiiiig grin and I'd raise my eyebrows and then we'd just laugh.  He would then say, hey, they're not complaining! LOL!

I will never forgot a comment from one of the other parents at a troop meeting, about 4 weeks after Nick became the senior patrol leader.  This guy is a farmer, very gruff, and I always thought he hated me for being involved (not with Nick's work, but I was on the committee, went to the committee meetings, was active, and in charge of fundraising) and I didn't think he liked me for the simple fact that I am female.  Let's just say everyone met Nick's dad at Nick's Eagle Scout Court of Honor.  Anyway, he came up to me and said "so, that's your son, Nick, right?" I said yes.  He said 'I've been watching him.  I've seen the way he is with the youngsters.  He has a gift.  He is a natural leader, and I am very impressed with him."  And he walked away.  We never spoke again (because as a rule, he didn't speak with me).  I cried.  It was awesome and I just felt so proud but also touched that he would approach me and tell me that.
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My son was in a troop where the Scoutmaster was a control freak. The boys had no responsibilities, no one could be trusted. He personally had to sign everything off. The whole meeting ended up being boys waiting to get things signed off by him most of the time and nothing was ever good enough. One time my son had to get something signed off before a deadline, merit badge day or something and he would not do it quickly because we had to leave. None of the other grown ups would take it and have him sign it because he was such a douche. Finally his wife set up an appointment for us to do it a different day.

He left that troop and is much happier in the new one and the boys can sign each other off, (the adults know what who did so the signing off is a formality really) and have actual say in their troop activities. Its no longer we only do what the scoutmaster says we do. He was the only 11 year old that was allowed to help at the day camp(actually they had to be 13 or 14 and the other kids younger than that age got turned away) and I got compliments about how he was so much more helpful than the older boys every day. He grew up so much over those 5 days! Boy Scouts is so great because it teaches the importance of responsibility.

I am currently trying to prevent what has happened the past 2 years at school from happening again. He has terrible seasonal allergy issues, so he basically has a cold the whole winter even with allergy pills but not bad enough for prescription strength pills we got samples of once. I think it was after an asthma attack. He was seriously better after a couple of doses.  It really affects his performance at school and last year and the year before the teachers both got on his case for being lazy. No matter what I said or did the teachers just said he needed to be responsible and do his work neatly.

He was tested last year and now has an IEP but he has a genius level IQ and loves to read, the school psychologist had never had to go as far into a test as she did with him but when it came to timed tests all of a sudden his performance dropped severely, he does not do well under pressure. He also has minor fine motor issues which mainly just affect his writing making it illegible to most people and some Aspergers characteristics but he is not within the spectrum.

He has been sick twice this month and he can't finish his homework since he is playing catch up but luckily the teachers were willing to make accommodations when I asked them to yesterday unlike last year when the principal got involved and finally got him tested.

Anyways he was previously labeled as lazy and a trouble maker because he is smart in should be able to do the work but sometimes even smart kids need extra support. He would get so upset that kids who put very little effort in but were in the lower reading groups would get praised and he would work his but off and was far above grade level and the teacher would still complain. The teachers would say I just want him to succeed but not at the cost of him crying every night and feeling like he was dumb. He was so surprised to get any recognition at graduation(elementary school) he got a gold presidential medal at graduation which the valedictorian did not get btw, she got a silver. It shows me the teachers play favorite with the girls because there were so many boys that got the gold medal to choose from.

 
It's really hard being smart and having teacher's grade you on your own personal curve. You're fighting an imaginary version of what the teacher thinks is your best work instead of the benchmarks that were laid out for other students. It makes you not want to put the effort in. If so and so is going to get the same grade as me even though my essay is better thought out, longer, and has more research, and the teachers are still going to say this was great but.... why should I try my hardest?

 
Shalott said:
He impersonated a teacher and ordered a pizza online. -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Is that not the stupidest thing you've heard of or what? But he broke policy with "improper use of school property" so, yeah. Dumb.
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That is almost as bad as my brother getting invited to leave for starting a fire in a trash can on a day he was absent. They said he was the ring leader and he was responsible too.

He liked his new school better and channelled his energy in football and roller hockey. He was tallish and chubby and the kids just bounced off of him. He got asked to be on his high school team(he could even skip summer training), they heard about his blocking abilities and he refused. I asked him why, and he said that there were bigger kids at the public schools, he was not crazy. Elementary was only catholic schools but in high school it was all the schools split into divisions by ranking and his high school was in a tough division.

 
There are so many standards and tests that teachers have to teach too.  There is no room for individuality.  I remember when my oldest son who is very good at math would have to explain his answers in writing because that was the new standardized way of testing.  He just knew the answer.  He didn't have to break it down into words. 

My middle child was tanking on the  reading tests that were standard for awhile.  They take your kid out in the hall and see how fast they read, how many words they get correct and give them a score.  If they scored poorly which mine did, they had extra reading help away from the rest of the class.    It made little sense to me as he scored well on comprehension tests.  So, he knew what he was reading.  I figured he didn't like reading out loud.  He was self-conscious and it was creating a guarantee fail situation.  I pulled him out of the program against the "reading specialists" recommendation.   Taking him away from the other students was not helping with self-esteem.   Today, he is a fine high honors student who presents projects in class with humor and does just fine.  My daughter had the same reading issue.  So, when it was suggested to me with her about the extra help, I said nope.  I said it was a family trait and it would all work out fine.

 
ohsailor said:
Also, I've been having a cruddy time lately, too! I got Strep throat with super swollen tonsils and a REALLY bad, rancid ear infection. I've been fighting with my insurance company to pay my $4,000/month Humira treatments, and JUST when I was catching up money-wise, my poor diabetic pooch got sick again (throwing up, shivering, loss of appetite)- it was another bout on pancreatitis along with his blood sugar going super high for NO REASON, but it cost $600 total, and i have to bring him in next weeks for shots. My poor little guy. He has been through more than most humans I know, and he's such a fighter... I don't like to talk about this, but once he was given about a 15% chance to survive. I was trying to make myself be at peace with it, but he fought through it because he's freaking amazing. He's worth every penny I have, I'm more frustrated that he inherited his mama's (my) health issues and can't catch a break :( /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />
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The things we do for our "babies".  Most people that know about our boy cat's issues a few years ago still think we're nuts.  He got sick suddenly and wasn't peeing/peeing spots on everything.  We made an appointment the next morning with regular vet, but by middle of night knew he had to go to Emergency vet or he'll die.  They said he was 100% blocked at that point with urine crystals and had we not brought him into them he'd have died within a couple hours.  

He was only turning 2, and this was over his birthday.  They said they got him unblocked and he'd have to transfer for about a week at the regular vet office, but he's fixable.  I couldn't let him die, he's my baby boy, and it was his freaking birthday for goodness sakes.  

A week later, daily vet trips for playing and support--because he was so depressed he wouldn't eat.  Just sat in back of cage with his head down wearing a cone of shame.. We got them to take the cone collar off and as long as we came by each day for a while to see him he would do okay..  1500$ later, he's now 7 this February!  He's only had one minor bout of trouble since then, and we just increased his daily urine vitamins (OTC kind), and he got better in two days.  

He's got to eat urinary health formula, grain free, wet food only...gets kibble treats and snacks-but limited.  And our older (10 this August) girl kitty is allergic to plastic, grains, and gets bouts of kitty herpes (blisters on her mouth/gum line).  She also fractured her front arm once several years ago when she was walking  under me while I carried a framed mirror..the frame broke and the mirror fell on her arm.  "That" was fun... and a nice 1000$ bill as well.  She loved her cast covered with bright pink and yellow baby socks though, we called it her "Flash Dance" sock, and she rubbed it in with guilt every chance she got, and liked showing her socks off...weirdo.  

I hope your baby gets better!  And you too!!  I had strep throat and tonsillitis back to back for years until 3rd grade when they took my tonsils out.  I've had strep once since then and hardly get sick ever since.  ((sickness apparently got traded for clumsy unlucky injuries instead though))  If you regularly get throat sicknesses I highly recommend having tonsils out, makes life so much better!  

 
Please don't use "pussy" as a negative. In order for the insult to be effective, people have to accept the idea that women are inferior. There are better insults. I'm partial to turdperson.

 
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I've had to administer those reading tests, when I first started some of the kids would be embarrassed and read so low I couldn't hear them. I'd joke that I was soooo old that that's why I couldn't hear them and I'd forgotten my hearing aid. Others would freeze up as I'd start marking incorrect or skipped words, I quickly learned how to make dots and dashes I could understand and that they couldn't see, amazingly their scores improved immediately. Then I'd go back and make the correct markings so the teacher could also understand.

One student almost had me in tears, he was new to the school and of course transferred in the middle of 3rd grade (not easy). Instantly labeled a trouble maker and he was...as soon as he sat down with me and started reading I could tell he was way behind and as his 90 seconds ended he said "I'm stupid. All the other kids are faster then me and I'll never be good." :scared:   I really wanted to hug him, take him home and love the heck out of him! He knew who my kid was and that they were the best reader in the class. I told him "Ya know my kid wasn't always the best reader and use to read really slow and didn't get all the words right. (sure it was 1st grade, but still!) Want to know how that changed?" He side eyed me <_< "It's not that he's smart or better,  he just kept reading and reading until he could do it well. And can I tell you a secret...not everyone is good at everything. What makes us great is we aren't all the same and I've seen you around and I know you are a really neat kid."  He wasn't as down on himself during the rest of our times together, I always tried to have a genuine compliment for him each time.

 
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I'm pretty sure pizza's a vegetable ;) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> See @@Shalott 's son was starting a garden, COMMUNITY SERVICE!

I'm scared of what school will be as Z moves through it. Stupid pranks are just that pranks, no one got hurt people were annoyed we move on. No harm, No foul.

 
I'm so mad. I hate my computer. I had a huge reply posted and I don't even know what key I hit and it wiped it. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to restore my previous post, even though I know it auto-saves so yeah.

The tl;dr version is that I will happily let my child do online school if he gets good grades, but regardless of how secretly hilarious I think it is, I can't let him feel like it is okay to disobey school rules, even if I think the rules are ridiculous. There is a time for breaking the rules, but unfortunately this wasn't one of them. *sigh*

I think I will go have some pizza... ;) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
Oh yea but just like a little kid cursing, just because you have to discipline them doesn't mean you can't laugh behind closed doors :D /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I'm not saying he didn't do anything wrong, just because you can do something and just because it's funny doesn't mean you SHOULD but I also don't think we're letting kids find out some of this stuff on their own. We just tell them it's not ok with no reason and then if they DARE disobey the rules they bring down the suspension/expulsion hammer instead of teaching proper behavior or why we don't do these things (I still do stupid things sometimes, thankfully I'm an adult now and the only person I have to answer to is myself).

Oh and I'm not a touchy, feely, time-outs hurt feelings, kinda parent, I'm "mean" and "rude" and I wear that badge with pride lmao. Yesterday Z wrote out 5 apology cards (after multiple drafts because I'm mean and made her write out a little more each draft) for her behavior to other students lately. But we also went for a drive and talked about her behavior and why she was doing them before we figured out punishments.

Rambling, part of being a kid is doing stupid things because at the time it seemed okay. It's our job as adults to get them to think that action out a few steps farther and determine consequences. Telling them not to and then banning them from school teaches them nothing (The school's punishment system, not @@Shalott who I'm sure will be doling out her own knowledge/corrections :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> ), especially for a non-violent, non vandalizing offense.

 
Tweakabell said:
Oh yea but just like a little kid cursing, just because you have to discipline them doesn't mean you can't laugh behind closed doors :D /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I'm not saying he didn't do anything wrong, just because you can do something and just because it's funny doesn't mean you SHOULD but I also don't think we're letting kids find out some of this stuff on their own. We just tell them it's not ok with no reason and then if they DARE disobey the rules they bring down the suspension/expulsion hammer instead of teaching proper behavior or why we don't do these things (I still do stupid things sometimes, thankfully I'm an adult now and the only person I have to answer to is myself).

Oh and I'm not a touchy, feely, time-outs hurt feelings, kinda parent, I'm "mean" and "rude" and I wear that badge with pride lmao. Yesterday Z wrote out 5 apology cards (after multiple drafts because I'm mean and made her write out a little more each draft) for her behavior to other students lately. But we also went for a drive and talked about her behavior and why she was doing them before we figured out punishments.

Rambling, part of being a kid is doing stupid things because at the time it seemed okay. It's our job as adults to get them to think that action out a few steps farther and determine consequences. Telling them not to and then banning them from school teaches them nothing (The school's punishment system, not @@Shalott who I'm sure will be doling out her own knowledge/corrections :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> ), especially for a non-violent, non vandalizing offense.
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No for sure, for sure. I wish my whole stupid post hadn't gotten lost because the short version is so abrupt. :lol: One thing that is SO FREAKING STUPID is how the don't have filters on their computers - I mean, come on. Our actual INTERNET connection is set with a parental control, so there is no way the boys can change it. Why wouldn't a school do the same? We can put it at different levels depending on what they should be allowed to access or not, it still boggles my mind how a school filled with MIDDLE to HIGH SCHOOL aged students wouldn't have some sort of controls.

In one swoop they've alleviate the risk that kids will use the internet inappropriately, AND saved me from having to look like either a. The Bad Guy or b. a careless parents who doesn't discipline her kids. So, so stupid.

He actually didn't get into much trouble at home though, because what is even the point at that level? It's already kicking in that he won't see his friends again for some time, and academically he hasn't been successful this whole year, so I think on some level he was really unhappy and just didn't want to tell us, for reasons not yet determined.

Now I;m babbling, LOL, but the moral of the story: INTERNET CONTROLS. :lol:

 
LOL I know Z didn't get what they were expecting.  What she did was an appropriate reaction (mostly) for an 8 year old. The teacher was like "If you want to arrange a time to come in and we can talk about it, figure out why...." No I'll deal with it at home and had you told me she was misbehaving earlier I could have nipped this in the bud.

 
The no internet controls is insane my HS had them a decade ago (we could still order pizza though it was mostly porn filters)

 

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