Ugh, I feel crappy today. Not sure if it´s because I got off my antidepressants lately (I took them for 1 year and it did wonders for my moods and sometimes even my confidence) or if it´s just a regular bad day. And I´ve been feeling so good about myself lately since I started a really healthy diet and an exercise regimen to tone up a bit.
So just an hour ago looked through some old FOTDs on here (like 3y old) and noticed how much shinier and healthier my hair was, my lashes werel longer and my skin didn´t have any hyperpigmented areas from past acne (like it does now..and I do everything to fade them which slowly works).
Pathetic, right? I told my fiancé about this and he was like "Andrea you look exactly the same now" which I didn´t believe.
He then said I have such low self esteem when it comes to my look sometimes. I agreed, and said that I also have good confidence sometimes, so it´s not all bad all the time. Then i said that I just wanna be the "perfect me", so I wanna be me minus the small flaws I have...he said that´s a very unhealthy attitude.
So the bottom line is: I´m even more self conscious than I like to admit (that is if my fiancé is right) and he thinks I might have to get back on the antidepressants...which we´ll see, I´ll give it some time and try to work things out myself.
Oh, and the best thing is: My fiancé has recently done 2 modelling jobs and he´s going out with a bunch of other models tonight (male and female)!!! UGH!
To be honest hearing that brought tears to my eyes since I feel unattractive today. I haven´t gotten all dolled up since my trip to see my fiancé, and it sucks not getting the compliments from him like I did when I was over there with him.
It doesn´t even help that I also model sometimes since-I always seem to concentrate on the flaws that I have, and I look at supermodels and think "ok most people think I´m pretty, but it would be so nice to be as flawless as Gisele, Adriana etc"
Ok on a scale from 1-10, how screwed up am I?
So just an hour ago looked through some old FOTDs on here (like 3y old) and noticed how much shinier and healthier my hair was, my lashes werel longer and my skin didn´t have any hyperpigmented areas from past acne (like it does now..and I do everything to fade them which slowly works).
Pathetic, right? I told my fiancé about this and he was like "Andrea you look exactly the same now" which I didn´t believe.
He then said I have such low self esteem when it comes to my look sometimes. I agreed, and said that I also have good confidence sometimes, so it´s not all bad all the time. Then i said that I just wanna be the "perfect me", so I wanna be me minus the small flaws I have...he said that´s a very unhealthy attitude.
So the bottom line is: I´m even more self conscious than I like to admit (that is if my fiancé is right) and he thinks I might have to get back on the antidepressants...which we´ll see, I´ll give it some time and try to work things out myself.
Oh, and the best thing is: My fiancé has recently done 2 modelling jobs and he´s going out with a bunch of other models tonight (male and female)!!! UGH!
To be honest hearing that brought tears to my eyes since I feel unattractive today. I haven´t gotten all dolled up since my trip to see my fiancé, and it sucks not getting the compliments from him like I did when I was over there with him.
It doesn´t even help that I also model sometimes since-I always seem to concentrate on the flaws that I have, and I look at supermodels and think "ok most people think I´m pretty, but it would be so nice to be as flawless as Gisele, Adriana etc"
Ok on a scale from 1-10, how screwed up am I?