Rant about spouse stupidity.

[GlossyAbby]

Originally Posted by Carolyn /img/forum/go_quote.gif You should teach him a lesson.When he goes to work, hide the bike.

When he gets home, tell him you sold it and present him with a dollar.

Then you'll see an overreacton hehe

LOVE it!!!! I would seriously beat my husband if he did that

 

[mariascreek]

that is incredibly awful of him, i understand you dont have to be up each other's behinds for everything but a bike, its ridiculous. and now you have to pay insurance on it.

 

[Johnnie]

Originally Posted by sali /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thanks guys for the reassurance! I told my mom about it and she even thinks i'm overreacting.

Last night I gave him an ultimatum get rid of the bike, or I'm gone. It might seem kind of harsh but this is a big thing to me. It's about the trust and the respect you're supposed to have towards each other, and frankly he has lost all of his. I don't know why he thought I would just let this slide. I would've done the same thing. Gave him an ultimatum. I'd more then likely leave for a while so he'll get the chance to see that I'm not playing bullsh** games and that what he did was unbelievable. If my mom thought I were overreacting I'd hang up on her.

 

[Darla]

Sali, any updates?

I think overwhelmingly everyone (including myself) feels like he did you wrong. and who knows if he had come to you and had discussed it before hand you might have even been inclined to give him that bike he wanted.

To make it right the only thing he can do is return it if possible or sell it. But is he going to do that? Does he still think that he did no wrong in this?

But what i was going to suggest was two fold: I personally think retaliation of any type (trashing the bike, selling it (he needs to do that) or going out on your own revenge splurge) is the wrong thing to do because it just escalates the conflict. I also think that right now you need to work this out with him (and hopefully you are) and whether that is on your own or through some couples counseling it has to be done. He needs to really know how much he hurt you, destroyed your trust and potentially threatened your marriage.

For what its worth I knew someone that this exact thing happened to many years ago and they stayed together and worked it out. I (and probably everyone here) have heard about marriages breaking up for lesser things and even more importantly others that have survived even worse things in their marriage, like infidelity or the loss of a child.

I sincerely hope everything works out for you.

 

[S. Lisa Smith]

 

[pinksugar]

man, it makes me angry all over again that your mum thinks you're overreacting.

Definitely keep us updated chicken, I am so angry for you.. and sad too. Why do they do this!!

 

[kellianne76]

I can't believe he did that to you. You should turn the table on him and buy yourself a big piece of jewelery.

 

[sali]

Well ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has been moping around and trying to kiss my ass. I have made a decision though and nothing can change my mind. I have told him about counseling at first he said no but, now he said that maybe we should go.

Retaliation besides selling the bike is not on my agenda. I just want him to realize his mistake and buy me loads of expensive things

. Seriously, I just want him to admit that he was wrong and return the bike. If he doesn't then I'm gone. It's that simple.

 

[S. Lisa Smith]

At first blush I thought that you were overreacting (sell the bike or I leave), then I read your blog. It appears that this is just the latest problem. As I said, he was a jackass for buying the bike. However, my suggestion is that you shift your demand from selling the bike ASAP to counseling NOW and doing whatever the counselor says about the bike. If he doesn't actually do it, then leave. I don't know how fast bikes sell where you are. Getting rid of the bike is important, maybe saving your marriage is more important. Good Luck!!!

 

[ticki]

good luck with everything. he's a total ass for doing that to you. hopefully he knows better now and treats you with more respect.

 

[Darla]

Originally Posted by sali /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has been moping around and trying to kiss my ass. I have made a decision though and nothing can change my mind. I have told him about counseling at first he said no but, now he said that maybe we should go.
Retaliation besides selling the bike is not on my agenda. I just want him to realize his mistake and buy me loads of expensive things

. Seriously, I just want him to admit that he was wrong and return the bike. If he doesn't then I'm gone. It's that simple.

well hopefully he will go along with the counseling. good luck.

 

[SimplyElegant]

I think that was really wrong of him. He didn't have any right to do that. However, ultimatums aren't really that successful. I think leaving that out and just getting counselling is more appropriate.

 

[Johnnie]

Originally Posted by sali /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has been moping around and trying to kiss my ass. I have made a decision though and nothing can change my mind. I have told him about counseling at first he said no but, now he said that maybe we should go.
Retaliation besides selling the bike is not on my agenda. I just want him to realize his mistake and buy me loads of expensive things

. Seriously, I just want him to admit that he was wrong and return the bike. If he doesn't then I'm gone. It's that simple.

Good for you

 

[sali]

Thanks guys for all the help!! I really appreciate the advice sometimes you just need someone that's not involved to have input.

 

[PrissyB]

Your situation is just sad. How could he be so inconsiderate? I would make him take it back BUT it does sound like a man who would do something this thoughtless might not be the kind you can "make" do anything. I dont know you two or anything but please, for your own sake, dont let this slide. I'm sorry to hear that either way. Hope everything works out.