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Feb 1, 2006
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This isn't an office, it's hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If I throw a stick will you leave??

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cats.

Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

Whatever look you were going for, you missed.

Are these your eyeballs, I found them in my cleavage.

I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable.

I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

Did I mention that kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

It's not the size that counts... no wait, it's the size!

A woman's favorite position is CEO

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet

Okay, Okay, I take it back! Un*Fudge* you!

Too many freaks not enough circuses.

Macho law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

LOL! That's funny.
that reminds me of a friends comment about dating in Alaska. The odds are good, but the goods are odd