What is/was your biggest turn off in a guy?

[CHaNGiNGFaCESx]

Well, Darla, I am from the Jersey Shore, I'm about 15 mins north of Seaside in the same exact type of town w/boardwalk, rides, beach, etc.   LOL.  I never thought I was Jersey though b/c I hate Jersey and I lived in NY for a long time, so I would always say, no I'm not like a typical Jersey person bc I don't act like them.... to be honest with you, people from around the Jersey Shore do NOT act like people on the show for the most part, people around here are like very preppy/surfer, I have always stood out here, lol.  Now it's cool all the sudden and people always call me JWoww, lol, I'm like whatever!! /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

And that is definitely a first Maris, that I read someone who is turned off by someone who loves the Lord and quotes Bible scripture.  I'm actually quite the opposite, I am a born again Christian and I can not date another guy who is a non believer because it just never works out.  I would love to meet a nice Christian boy however, they are usually kinda dorky, but who knows!

 

[Amber204]

I got a new one I thought of recently that may make me a bit hickish, I really don't like the designer guys who wear Lacoste of Vouis Vuitton bags, pink and purple shirts, etc. I mean its great for girls but I think guys it just looks like you are trying to hard and can actually make them look rather feminine. But then we have the one's that can't dress at all and you can tell they have been wearing the same bleached stained shirt for 10 years, or found some ugly pants that don't fit in the bargain barrel.. What can I say I am a simple kinda girl who wants a guy that can fill blue jeans and a white t shirt nicely!!

 

[Dragonfly]

Hey, Darla's from Jersey too...small world.

He told me a lot about the shore - and he hates the stereotypes of the show also.

 

[MakeupByMe]

Im simple, Just be a Man  Dont Lie n Dont cheat , & dont be a Punk If im more of a man than you......we got a problem

 

[imonabhaute]

My family isn't religious on either side and basically follows the golden rule of treating like you'd like to be treated.  I'd also say that spouting off religious stuff is a major turn off.  It's creepy and I know more religious spouting people who have screwed me or others over than I'd like to, so eww it is.

I personally am not religious, don't ever want children and don't want a marriage (long term exclusive committed relationship is great, but no legal marriage).  Those are my inflexibles, I want someone who is the same on those, and I'm still figuring out the rest.

 

[Maris Crane]

My family isn't religious on either side and basically follows the golden rule of treating like you'd like to be treated.  I'd also say that spouting off religious stuff is a major turn off.  It's creepy and I know more religious spouting people who have screwed me or others over than I'd like to, so eww it is.

I personally am not religious, don't ever want children and don't want a marriage (long term exclusive committed relationship is great, but no legal marriage).  Those are my inflexibles, I want someone who is the same on those, and I'm still figuring out the rest.

This sounds like me, though I can definately see marriage - civil - if I find the one. I want any potential children to feel that everyone is equal, treat everyone with equal dignity and respect, and to realize that they are strong individuals. I do not believe a child or person, for that matter, needs faith or a belief in God to be a 'whole' person. And given the way some mainstream faiths run themselves, I'm rather uninterested in raising any children in that environment. Barring children, religious people do bother me after awhile. I have no interest in theology, or debating if the earth is reall only 6000 years old and if evolution is real. I am generalizing based on the absolute worst of stereotypes, but I have no real belief in God, though I am open to the possibility, and... not to toot my own horn, but I think I turned out okay.

 

[Darla]

I don't think there is anything wrong with people being religious or more generally spiritual.  I just have a huge problem when people try to impose their beliefs on others and think that only they can be correct. 

 

[Darla]

for those that don't have a clue here is a guide



I think there's actually a series of these out:   How to spot a Playa......   How to spot a Dirtbag .........

 

[AndreaRenee]

Low confidence, no motivation, dependence, arrogance, selfishness, carelessness, laziness, bad hygiene, passive, passive-aggressive, pretty boys, liars.

I could go on and on.

My ex was careless, lazy, had bad hygiene, was passive-aggressive, selfish, had no motivation and a liar.

My boyfriend is the sweetest, most honest, most caring guy ever, but he has no motivation or confidence, is passive and kind of weak mentally.

I'm trying to help him out but I wish I didn't have to! Girlfriend/mother role sucks. =(

 

[Dragonfly]

Darla, I'd like to see the playa and dirt bag boys, if you can find them.

 

[CHaNGiNGFaCESx]

Ha, didn't know loving the Lord and being a Christian was such a turn off for people.  I hope my love for Jesus turns men off so much they leave me alone and never talk to me again because I would never compromise my beliefs to date someone.  Jesus who died for my sins vs. some guy who just wants to get in my pants.. hmm.. I'll take Jesus!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

PS- where are you finding these "religious" men?  I'd love to find a guy who loves the Lord and shares my faith, but I never have any luck, and then any guy who does love the Lord is either like really crazy or just nerdy, from my past experiences in dating.  I know the Lord will eventually place the right man in my path, but sometimes I feel like it will be impossible to find a man I'm attracted to that is also a Christian.

 

[Andi]

Originally Posted by CHaNGiNGFaCESx /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Ha, didn't know loving the Lord and being a Christian was such a turn off for people.  I hope my love for Jesus turns men off so much they leave me alone and never talk to me again because I would never compromise my beliefs to date someone.  Jesus who died for my sins vs. some guy who just wants to get in my pants.. hmm.. I'll take Jesus!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

PS- where are you finding these "religious" men?  I'd love to find a guy who loves the Lord and shares my faith, but I never have any luck, and then any guy who does love the Lord is either like really crazy or just nerdy, from my past experiences in dating.  I know the Lord will eventually place the right man in my path, but sometimes I feel like it will be impossible to find a man I'm attracted to that is also a Christian.

well for me it´s a turn-off because it would be a conflict of interests to date someone religious - I´m a passionate atheist. I think most people want to have as many common grounds as possible with their partner, because vastly different opinions on touchy subjects such as as religion, politics, morals etc can lead to countless arguments.

I know in my country it would be hard to find religious men, because we have tons of what I call "Sunday-Catholics" (meaning they´re only "religious" when they go to sunday´s church service, the rest of the time they seem to be only spiritual and don´t really follow their religion´s rules).

But don´t they have singles mixers at many churches in the US? I think that would be a good way to find men who share your beliefs, but of course they have to be a match on other levels as well. And I believe I read about an online dating service for Christians once?

 

[llehsal]

Luv it Darla!

 

[Darla]

Originally Posted by llehsal /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Luv it Darla!

Thanks and this is just too easy.   Here is a good photo of a dirtbag



(seriously it came up when i googled the term)

 

[llehsal]

LMAO!!!!

 

[bamboogirls]

Originally Posted by CHaNGiNGFaCESx /img/forum/go_quote.gif



Did I hit a cord or something?  Why are you riding my ass about what I said about my personal likes and dislikes, and I said a million after that, and there are other people on here who said their dislikes, but you chose mine to be catty with and say your sarcastic comment?  I guess you wear flipflops/sandals.  Sorry!

I don't really think her comments make for riding your ass. I truly think that she was trying to conversate while pointing out that her opinion varies whereas all i am seeing from you is things about sandals. I get it though. I used to hate men wearing sandals, now, I am married to a man who hates wearing shoes because he sweats and it STINKS if he wears closed shoes for more than 20 min. But he also has nice feet. But yeah, I don't think she was trying to be a witch here. I think she was trying to joke and then to apologize for offending you. there were only two comments, one that didnt warrant a response and then a response to your response. Just saying, i hope i do not come of mean. I do not intend to. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 

[bamboogirls]

I think I am one of those girls who doesn't have specific turn offs. I've dated so many vastly different people that I can't say that any one thing is 100% a deal breaker and my husband, quite frankly is not the man I would go for if I saw him out and about. And before this confuses you to grandly, I met my husband on myspace, he was promoting a party to me and my mom told me not to speak to him because he was 8-9 yrs older than me and had a pot leaf on his page. So i spoke to him and when i saw him in person, I was SOOOOOOO blown away by ....by everything...his smell, his face, his body, his clothes, his voice, his presence....literally EVERYTHING, that I couldn't even look at him. I looked at his friend and talked to his friend the entire time. In my defense, I was looking to hook up with someone easy because I had just had a baby conceived out of assualt and was recovering from anorexia so I really wasn't expecting a GOD to show up on my door step and smile at me like I was the hottest thing that hit the earth since fire.  He wear flip flops most the time, he has gross habits, is too smart for his own damned good, kind of lazy and a little arrogant about said intelligence but he is unbelieveably talented and although he tries to say he is a dark, bad person, he is the most genuinely compassionate person I have ever met and he doesn't let anything or anyone stop him from being that way. Needless to say, I love him, more everyday. Did I mention he effin gorgeous? lol      I guess a turn off for me would be blonde hair, blue eyes, overly muscled, short, hairy and yet guys with no hair, drinks and parties a lot, womanizing, no intelligence, humor or talent. If you are too serious about any one thing, i think you suck the fun out of living. You suck life out of life and yet I think the same holds true for the other way around. I don't like people who truly can't spell, not people who have typos or use bad grammar in chat rooms. I don't like mean people or close minded people. And I don't date jesus fanatics. I have several severly christian friends and that is ok, i love them, but i hate when they preach to me or everything they do revolves around jesus. and violent people. i believe nothing warrants violence, no matter your reasoning, but thats JMO. But like i said, i can't say any of these things 100%. If you can do better than my husband then you can pretty much gaurantee you have got me for life and after 4 yrs,  i havent found a soul that comes close to doing for me what he does.  We just bond in a way that transcend explanation or normal categories of life (by this i mean, religions and morals and such....) Its like we truly are 2 halves of the same whole and in the end, that is really what does it for me. Not all the tedious little standards.

 

[imonabhaute]

Originally Posted by CHaNGiNGFaCESx /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Ha, didn't know loving the Lord and being a Christian was such a turn off for people.  I hope my love for Jesus turns men off so much they leave me alone and never talk to me again because I would never compromise my beliefs to date someone.  Jesus who died for my sins vs. some guy who just wants to get in my pants.. hmm.. I'll take Jesus!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

PS- where are you finding these "religious" men?  I'd love to find a guy who loves the Lord and shares my faith, but I never have any luck, and then any guy who does love the Lord is either like really crazy or just nerdy, from my past experiences in dating.  I know the Lord will eventually place the right man in my path, but sometimes I feel like it will be impossible to find a man I'm attracted to that is also a Christian.

I don't know if I was one of the people you were talking about, Andi, Maris, whoever.  I have had very damaging things done to me by people who would say they are doing it for religious reasons(so they believed/stated).  A lot of atheists and agnostics have very valid reasons why they believe what they do; I'm atheist because if I simplify things, I just don't buy "it".  I find religious exuberance a turn off because of my negative associations with people I've interacted personally.  That's just me.

I thought that this thread is not about what you find acceptable behavior for people, but rather it was about what got you hot and what so does not.

 

[Maris Crane]

.

 

I thought that this thread is not about what you find acceptable behavior for people, but rather it was about what got you hot and what so does not.

This. I don't know if it's the religious factor that's getting people's backs up, but I have yet to have anyone ask me to justify why I don't find myself (generally) attracted to blonde men, non-smokers, serial monogamists or very slender men. I'm not interested in theology (generally speaking), I don't plan on raising my kids in any faith. Why would is it any wonder I'm turned off by religious men? IMO, a lack of attraction to evangelical types (quickest way to kill any interest...) is no different to a lack of attraction to blonds. Anywho, I probably should quantify it, while agnostic and casual atheists* are my preference: Yom Kippur Jews, Easter/Cradle/C&E Catholics, Cradle Lutherans/Anglicans/Presbyterians/Orthodox Christians, and whatever the Buddhist or Confucianist (sp?) equivalents are: fine. Pentecostal/Evangelical/Born Again Christians that throw Purity Balls? No way in hell. (Pardon the pun.) *I do not want to debate whether God exists with my beloved. While there are lots of Christian crazies out there, radical atheists are just as bad and if not as much of a turn-off.

 

[CHaNGiNGFaCESx]

Originally Posted by Andi /img/forum/go_quote.gif




well for me it´s a turn-off because it would be a conflict of interests to date someone religious - I´m a passionate atheist. I think most people want to have as many common grounds as possible with their partner, because vastly different opinions on touchy subjects such as as religion, politics, morals etc can lead to countless arguments.

I know in my country it would be hard to find religious men, because we have tons of what I call "Sunday-Catholics" (meaning they´re only "religious" when they go to sunday´s church service, the rest of the time they seem to be only spiritual and don´t really follow their religion´s rules).

But don´t they have singles mixers at many churches in the US? I think that would be a good way to find men who share your beliefs, but of course they have to be a match on other levels as well. And I believe I read about an online dating service for Christians once?
 

Well, I'm not one for going on dating websites anymore.  I'm way too busy to be bothered with it and I went on them before and found nut bag losers on there, so really turned me off, the ones who say they are Christian ended up being the craziest.  One time I ended up meeting this really good looking Christian guy who even had the "look" of what I like, which is tall/dark & handsome, hahaha.. I say that jokingly about the tall/dark & handsome, but I do like a man taller than me and preferably at least taller then me in heels so I could be able to wear heels and not look stupid.. also I like men of italian, greek or spanish descent.. so there goes the dark... and of course handsome.. but i realize the better looking, the bigger the jerk... hahaha... BUT ANYWAYS I met the guy who had all those qualities, plus he even went to my church, lived local, liked the same music, I mean everything... but then I slowly started to realize why such a great catch was single?  He was the king of head games and weirdness...  plus when I was on dating websites, I would get messaged EVERYDAY from older men like in their 50's thinking they are young and good looking and would say "wellll i know im a little past your age range but i figured i would message anyway"  umm what part of of 29-34 did you NOT get?  basically, i would get a lot of responses but from people i wasnt into and then God forbid you dont respond you either get hate mail saying "what?? u think you too good for me you cant respond?"  or "you arent that pretty anyway so i dont even care if respond at this point, you missed your chance"  .. like, really?  shut up!  I got to the point where I would actually get ANNOYED when I would sign on when I saw I had messages because I knew it would be some bullshit or some guy from africa sending me a chain letter of marriage proposal he has sent to 100 other girls or some weirdo from turkey with another chain letter poem about my beauty that he has sent to 100 other girls.. hahahahha... i used to try to just keep it "just in case" cuz i thought oh wow what if my soul mate or something was on there?  well.. God knows my tolerance and my annoyance level so if my soul mate is even such a thing, he prob aint gonna find me thru a website at this point.. 

and as far as singlers mixers?  been there, done that.. just not my scene either... nothing seems to be my scene except my house with my mom and puppy, haha