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- Oct 30, 2006
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hi everyone...sorry if the title sounds generic...i couldn't really think of a better one.
anyway, my boyfriend and i have been together for 5.5 years. we have a great relationship, get a long well, have similar interests and are just very comfortable being ourselves around each other. we've had some rocky times and even separated for a few months 3 years ago, but somehow got back together. everytime we get into something big, we always commit to work on our relationship and make things work. so i'm currently 27, almost 28 and he's 35. i know that i want to get married and have kids, hopefully in the next 2-3 years...he tells me he's not ready for that kind of commitment and doesn't know when he will ever be. he thinks he'll want to get married and have kids one day, but right now it just seems like such a big responsibility. he doesnt' want to lose the freedom of being able to go on trips with his friends or whatever...but the thing is, all of his friends are married with kids, so it's not even like he has single friends he always wants to hang out with.
So my question is...if i dont' see a clear future between us, is it time to call it quits and move on? it's hard to give up a 5 year relationship because we both always thought that we would end up together...but right now it does not seem that way. and he's starting to sense that he can't give me what i want.
what i also want to know is....why do you think he can't commit? is it because he is too comfortable and doesn't want to make changes or just that I'm not the one...but if i'm not the one, then why does he always try to make our relationship work? i just don't get it...i dont' get men. i just feel so lost...
sorry for the long post...just had to get that off my chest.
anyway, my boyfriend and i have been together for 5.5 years. we have a great relationship, get a long well, have similar interests and are just very comfortable being ourselves around each other. we've had some rocky times and even separated for a few months 3 years ago, but somehow got back together. everytime we get into something big, we always commit to work on our relationship and make things work. so i'm currently 27, almost 28 and he's 35. i know that i want to get married and have kids, hopefully in the next 2-3 years...he tells me he's not ready for that kind of commitment and doesn't know when he will ever be. he thinks he'll want to get married and have kids one day, but right now it just seems like such a big responsibility. he doesnt' want to lose the freedom of being able to go on trips with his friends or whatever...but the thing is, all of his friends are married with kids, so it's not even like he has single friends he always wants to hang out with.
So my question is...if i dont' see a clear future between us, is it time to call it quits and move on? it's hard to give up a 5 year relationship because we both always thought that we would end up together...but right now it does not seem that way. and he's starting to sense that he can't give me what i want.
what i also want to know is....why do you think he can't commit? is it because he is too comfortable and doesn't want to make changes or just that I'm not the one...but if i'm not the one, then why does he always try to make our relationship work? i just don't get it...i dont' get men. i just feel so lost...
sorry for the long post...just had to get that off my chest.