2 Words

[looooch]

After i licked the envelope, it became really smelly

 

[Squirrel27]

pants

cow

 

[looooch]

I looked like a big cow in those gigantic polka dotted pants.

garbage

children

 

[Squirrel27]

Those weird children keep jumping in the garbage cans.

snow

hammer

 

[looooch]

when i am bored, i always love to smash snow with a hammer

blood

golfing

 

[Squirrel27]

My period started while I was golfing and there was blood everywhere.

honey

drugs

 

[chickylittle]

My honey said that he used to do drugs.

pantyhose

lawyer

 

[Squirrel27]

Some guy ripped my expensive pantyhose, so I hired a lawyer and sued him.

goat

university

 

[looooch]

My ideal university would be a campus full of goats.

yawn

dirt

 

[SqueeKee]

I told my husband not to yawn, but he did, so I threw dirt in his mouth. :icon_lol:

bottle

lumberjack

 

[Squirrel27]

The creepy lumberjack was staring at me, so I threw a bottle of water at him.

lipstick

vampire

 

[looooch]

The unintelligent vampire mistook my red lipstick for blood.

baboon

burrito

 

[Squirrel27]

The lady, who was eating a burrito looked like a baboon.

purse

glue

 

[looooch]

That lady is so stingy it's like she has her purse glued shut

cotton balls

needles

 

[Squirrel27]

I used cotton balls to clean my used needles.

thong

truck

 

[looooch]

When i went to the auto shop, i asked for a thong for my truck instead of a bra

coffee

storm

 

[Squirrel27]

I was drinking coffee outside when a snow storm started.

investment

tampon

 

[looooch]

When my broker made a bad decision with my investment, i shoved a bunch of tampons in his mouth

hammer

pig

 

[Squirrel27]

My pig attacked me, so I hit him with a hammer.

rose

paper clip

 

[looooch]

I ran out of paper clips, so i used a rose thorn to hold them together

cheerleaders

annoying