A Midsummer Night's Dream (Summer 2014 Secret Santa) Discussion

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So question for you guys.  

Hubby and I are talking about finding out the sex of the baby and then......not telling anyone.

We have a couple of relatives who are VERY excited (which is sweet) but are also making lots of plans for our baby that we aren't necessarily on board with.  Many of these plans are gender specific.  (If it's a girl, one relative has already promised her hand in marriage to a three year old boy.  I think she's serious)  There are even a few relatives who have set up play dates....for my unborn child!  

We kind of want to spend the next few months whispering "You can be whoever and whatever you want to be" at the baby.  We don't mind cute girl/boy clothes but don't want people making life choices for the baby before it's born.  

We love our families and don't want to offend anyone but it can be overwhelming.

Am I being crazy?  Any advice?

 
@@LadyK -- definitely not crazy at all. i went to an all girls high school and whenever a teacher was expecting, they kept names and gender under wraps (i think this started many years ago and then just kinda stuck among the staff). I think it was a brilliant idea and I would love to do the same when the time comes for me. One teacher was particularly strict about not telling the gender or name ideas for his son. The reason was that there are so many plans (like what you're going through) that people try to make, or so many assumptions (that she'll be a pretty girl or that he'll be a strong boy) that people will automatically push onto your baby.

The most striking argument for keeping it underwraps definitely had to do with names also. Names have so much significance! And the teachers at my school never told names because names have so many connections and judgement that come with it even before the lil baby is popped out - like Oh I would HATE the name Emerson because I had an ex-boyfriend with that name or Kate is SUCH a pretty name because of xyz - its unnecessary stuff to hear!

I do believe that my mom and my boyfriend's mom would think I was "robbing them of the experience" but I mean...they can wait. And its not like I really want an all pink nursery or an all blue wardrobe for my (pretend) baby anyway.

 
@@LadyK Absolutely understandable! I ave only a few people who I would tell because they would not plan meetings with the unborn child or arrange a marriabe lol. And I know they can keep their mouth shut. When my brother and his wife were expecting their first child last year, they told everyone the gender but the name was a secret until the child was born, which I found to be a great idea. Before birth everyone seems to want to give you advise of why the name you picked is not a great choice and why their idea is beter. I am sure there is a lot of gender related stuff as well. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable! And a bunch of gender neutral gifts are not bad eitehr, especially if you are planning for more children later on!

 
@@LadyK - I would say do whatever makes you feel comfortable, there's nothing wrong with gender neutral gifts either. Those are usually the best colors. One thing I absolutely hate is the "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" stereotype. In fact, that's probably driven me to my general dislike of anything pink (other than nail polish), and I'm probably not the only one who this has happened to.

 
Im super happy! i will be making my way to the reveal thread. Be prepared for lots of kitty photo bombs she seemed to think everything was for her. So sad this is over but very much looking foward to secret santa.

 

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