Annoyed with classmate, what do I do?
- Thread starter MindySue
- Start date
Help Support Makeuptalk.com forums:
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2005
- Messages
- 7,153
- Reaction score
- 3
Of course you'll feel comfortable with the BF right now - but don't let him be the only highlight to your day. Trust, having friends + your BF is taking best of both worlds and purposely alienating yourself from getting to meet others will take that oppurtunity away from you.
I too get shy and uncomfortable around people I don't know and I hate to party (well, I just get uncomfortable when it's time to dance. ha) but when I started college, I realized my class became less fun and more boring without someone to be buddy-buddy with there and chat it up. So what I did, after a week or so - I weeded who seemed chilled and not annoying. The annoying ones seem to pop up within the week, funnily. And talk started with..."this class is/seems..." and then keep it going. I met really cool people by just being friendly and myself and trust me, I'm a super shy person but college has instilled within me the confidence to make new friends. And people will open up, remember - everyone new will feel the same way aswell...
The roommates, well - just because they drink doesnt mean you have to exclude yourself from them. My best friends are all partiers but they know I'm not into it, so they know not to invite me. Haha. Just let it be known it's not your scene and not because you're better than that but because you dont like it. Dont be a hermit and knock something down until you try it! Plus, you got a lock in your room... right? If you don't like it... stay on MUT. Haha.
I too get shy and uncomfortable around people I don't know and I hate to party (well, I just get uncomfortable when it's time to dance. ha) but when I started college, I realized my class became less fun and more boring without someone to be buddy-buddy with there and chat it up. So what I did, after a week or so - I weeded who seemed chilled and not annoying. The annoying ones seem to pop up within the week, funnily. And talk started with..."this class is/seems..." and then keep it going. I met really cool people by just being friendly and myself and trust me, I'm a super shy person but college has instilled within me the confidence to make new friends. And people will open up, remember - everyone new will feel the same way aswell...
The roommates, well - just because they drink doesnt mean you have to exclude yourself from them. My best friends are all partiers but they know I'm not into it, so they know not to invite me. Haha. Just let it be known it's not your scene and not because you're better than that but because you dont like it. Dont be a hermit and knock something down until you try it! Plus, you got a lock in your room... right? If you don't like it... stay on MUT. Haha.
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2007
- Messages
- 911
- Reaction score
- 0
lmao your classmate is a narcissist
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2006
- Messages
- 4,409
- Reaction score
- 1
I had a roommate like that once. A real lush. I don't like to hang out with people who drink recreationally on a consistent basis like that, it doesn't mesh with me. Alot of times, it is them who are under the impression that this is what college students do on their time off, and that would be an incorrect assumption because most serious students rarely drink during the school week.
Something you could do with your roommates that don't have to involve drinking is:
Dining together in the cafeteria
Attending University functions like fairs and celebrations
Attending hockey games and tailgating parties
Going out for evening walks (sounds cheesy, but you'd be surprised at how many students you will see out and about doing it.)
Going out to see a movie (provided you can find a film that suits all of your tastes)
I'm sure you know better than I what you can do over there to build a good rapport with your roommates. Good luck with everything, and enjoy your term/semester/quarter!
Something you could do with your roommates that don't have to involve drinking is:
Dining together in the cafeteria
Attending University functions like fairs and celebrations
Attending hockey games and tailgating parties
Going out for evening walks (sounds cheesy, but you'd be surprised at how many students you will see out and about doing it.)
Going out to see a movie (provided you can find a film that suits all of your tastes)
I'm sure you know better than I what you can do over there to build a good rapport with your roommates. Good luck with everything, and enjoy your term/semester/quarter!
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2006
- Messages
- 1,560
- Reaction score
- 0
Ok I am a really shy girl when it comes to meeting new people. I don't know what to tell you about the roomies because I have never lived in a dorm, but I find it easier to meet people in class...because I always have an opinion about my teachers, assignment, or questions about how to do something.
But I agree about sitting as far away from that girl as possible and just talking to other people around you in class. That way when you leave class you have new peeps to talk with maybe eve a little new group.
As far as telling to her face that you don't want to hang anymore...I don't know how you can tell her...it's hard enough for me hurting other people's feelings so directly.
But I agree about sitting as far away from that girl as possible and just talking to other people around you in class. That way when you leave class you have new peeps to talk with maybe eve a little new group.
As far as telling to her face that you don't want to hang anymore...I don't know how you can tell her...it's hard enough for me hurting other people's feelings so directly.
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2005
- Messages
- 5,626
- Reaction score
- 2
Aww Minders you are too nice. I used to be like that too, until I got sick of being a doormat and realized my feelings are just as important as everyone else. I think right now you need to keep your options open. Shoot.. people I was friends with as a Freshman were not even people I liked by the next year!
Tell the Girl to "Kick Rocks". Seems like she's secure enough to make snide comments to you, she should be tough enough to take a rejection. You really should try to be cool with your roomates, you have to live with them. I used to NEVER party, but I would participate anyway and ended up having fun laughing at all the stupid drunks.Sometimes when you seperate yourself you come as a "Snobby" or "Too Good" for people. We know you aren't like that, but they don't.
Also....I know you are soo happy to see your BF, but make friends of your own as well. You don't want to seem too needy or dependant on him. You also don't want him (or yourself) to feel suffocated. PLus guys think it's hot when you seem unavailable. It makes them want you more.
I know you'll make friends soon and have a fab time...it will just take a little while. Love You Minders!!
Tell the Girl to "Kick Rocks". Seems like she's secure enough to make snide comments to you, she should be tough enough to take a rejection. You really should try to be cool with your roomates, you have to live with them. I used to NEVER party, but I would participate anyway and ended up having fun laughing at all the stupid drunks.Sometimes when you seperate yourself you come as a "Snobby" or "Too Good" for people. We know you aren't like that, but they don't.
Also....I know you are soo happy to see your BF, but make friends of your own as well. You don't want to seem too needy or dependant on him. You also don't want him (or yourself) to feel suffocated. PLus guys think it's hot when you seem unavailable. It makes them want you more.
I know you'll make friends soon and have a fab time...it will just take a little while. Love You Minders!!
- Joined
- May 24, 2006
- Messages
- 7,538
- Reaction score
- 38
Mindy, you can always go out with your friends and not drink.
I haven't consumed alcohol in close to 20 years - except for the once in a blue moon glass of wine. I still go out socially.
As soon as you see them acting stupid, leave.
Make sure you do some activities like the fanshawe movie theatre. Used to be in a lecture theatre.
Also, tour over to UWO - your activity card should allow you to use their facilities. UWO has a large pool and great exercise facilities. And a theatre.
I haven't consumed alcohol in close to 20 years - except for the once in a blue moon glass of wine. I still go out socially.
As soon as you see them acting stupid, leave.
Make sure you do some activities like the fanshawe movie theatre. Used to be in a lecture theatre.
Also, tour over to UWO - your activity card should allow you to use their facilities. UWO has a large pool and great exercise facilities. And a theatre.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2006
- Messages
- 7,507
- Reaction score
- 10
Mindy,
Maybe there are some activities, clubs on campus you can join and that way you will meet new friends with similar interests.
I think someone suggested asking your roomies to do other activities that don't involve drinking. Going to a movie, out for dinner, walks, maybe have a girls night in, giving each other manicures etc. Or like Carolyn suggested you can go out with them and not drink. Your roomies may end up being great friends.
You just started school, everything is new and fresh. In no time you will meet new people and make friends.
Maybe there are some activities, clubs on campus you can join and that way you will meet new friends with similar interests.
I think someone suggested asking your roomies to do other activities that don't involve drinking. Going to a movie, out for dinner, walks, maybe have a girls night in, giving each other manicures etc. Or like Carolyn suggested you can go out with them and not drink. Your roomies may end up being great friends.
You just started school, everything is new and fresh. In no time you will meet new people and make friends.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2007
- Messages
- 7,231
- Reaction score
- 0
They go out to get DRUNK off their asses, not just to drink and have a good time. They come back and talk about how one started crying, the other started screaming and the other was puking. That doesnt sound like a fun outing to me. Then all they do is talk about alcohol when they ARENT drinking. It gets pretty damn annoying. "Last night was so fun you got so drunk and fell down hahahaahHAHAHAHAhahahaha". End laughing 10 minutes later. OY!
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2007
- Messages
- 17,858
- Reaction score
- 10
maybe they're exaggerating it? Hows it going now? have you barred off the loser?
I think mander's advice is really good - you do have to be careful not to come off as too snobby.. we dont think you are but you might come off that way!
In Australia, the legal drinking age is 18, so I've been drinking legally for 4 years and illegally for another 2, so I can't believe how lame your roomies sound, but I'm WAY past the 'omg getting drunk is sooooo cool cos now it's legal!' age.. In australia, it's 16 and 17 year olds that act like that, and people at uni or in college aren't as drinking obsessed (I'm sure some are, but not all)
it doesnt really sound like you can hang with them but do let us know how you're going! and try to meet new people! good luck!!
I think mander's advice is really good - you do have to be careful not to come off as too snobby.. we dont think you are but you might come off that way!
In Australia, the legal drinking age is 18, so I've been drinking legally for 4 years and illegally for another 2, so I can't believe how lame your roomies sound, but I'm WAY past the 'omg getting drunk is sooooo cool cos now it's legal!' age.. In australia, it's 16 and 17 year olds that act like that, and people at uni or in college aren't as drinking obsessed (I'm sure some are, but not all)
it doesnt really sound like you can hang with them but do let us know how you're going! and try to meet new people! good luck!!
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2007
- Messages
- 7,231
- Reaction score
- 0
It's sooooooooooo drinking obsessed here in canada, I cant believe it. They always talk about how old 21 is for the states and say they pity them, oh come on get OVER IT. It's friken alcohol. You'll live to 21 without it even though nobody ever waits that long anyway. Get this, my RA (resident advisor) told me to get drunk, it's college, everyone gets drunk. After I said I don't drink. He's supposed to be advising, not telling a minor to go out and get hammered?
I am proud of myself! I went over to two girls I thought were cool and melow like me, havent really talked much yet, and we formed a group for a project. Away from that girl! I still sat close to her because there were no more seats available when I got in, but still, I moved away asap and I think she's getting the hint, she is starting to give me evil looks and stuff..but ohwell
I am proud of myself! I went over to two girls I thought were cool and melow like me, havent really talked much yet, and we formed a group for a project. Away from that girl! I still sat close to her because there were no more seats available when I got in, but still, I moved away asap and I think she's getting the hint, she is starting to give me evil looks and stuff..but ohwell
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2007
- Messages
- 7,173
- Reaction score
- 37
Takes me back to my freshman yr. I had the same problem. All of us in the same program had all the same classes AND LIVED IN SIMILAR DORMS!!!!!!
My problem was my roommate. Both of us were not into the whole Sorority thing, so we were gonna do the athlete thing. But I soon realized that she was gettin too clingy. It was like she wanted to be clones. So I dropped crew (which I loved
) And joined a bunch of other activities. That way I met new people who I could hang out with whenever. Soon I got pretty busy outside of class cuz I was doing something for one of my activities and couldn't hang out with her much. She eventually joined some other stuff and met other people too.
So apart from sharing a wall and bumping into each other everyday in the dorm, we were cool. Say hi, how u doin, and goin off to SEPARATE activities. I changed my seat in class (made this one dude upset, but oh well...)
Hope I've helped a bit...
Good luck!
My problem was my roommate. Both of us were not into the whole Sorority thing, so we were gonna do the athlete thing. But I soon realized that she was gettin too clingy. It was like she wanted to be clones. So I dropped crew (which I loved
So apart from sharing a wall and bumping into each other everyday in the dorm, we were cool. Say hi, how u doin, and goin off to SEPARATE activities. I changed my seat in class (made this one dude upset, but oh well...)
Hope I've helped a bit...
Good luck!
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2007
- Messages
- 69
- Reaction score
- 0
Originally Posted by MindySue /img/forum/go_quote.gif It's sooooooooooo drinking obsessed here in canada, I cant believe it. They always talk about how old 21 is for the states and say they pity them, oh come on get OVER IT. It's friken alcohol. You'll live to 21 without it even though nobody ever waits that long anyway. Get this, my RA (resident advisor) told me to get drunk, it's college, everyone gets drunk. After I said I don't drink. He's supposed to be advising, not telling a minor to go out and get hammered? Get used to it, I don't drink either and people look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them. No matter who I tell they are always trying to get me to drink, well apart from my close friends they gave up a long time ago. Glad to hear I'm not the only one.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2007
- Messages
- 7,231
- Reaction score
- 0
Originally Posted by Claire_CD /img/forum/go_quote.gif Get used to it, I don't drink either and people look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them. No matter who I tell they are always trying to get me to drink, well apart from my close friends they gave up a long time ago. Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Yea I should.
Today I made even more friends! Didn't sit with that girl at all, we talk minimal now..just about the project we are doing together. I feel like I 'belong' more now.
Today I made even more friends! Didn't sit with that girl at all, we talk minimal now..just about the project we are doing together. I feel like I 'belong' more now.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2007
- Messages
- 17,858
- Reaction score
- 10
sounds like its working out a bit better now... tI know exactly what you mean about the drinking thing!
I just dont mention to anyone that I dont drink. Like if I make less of a deal about it, then no notices when I'm not - like if I get a mineral water with a squeeze of lime, no one knows that it doesnt have alcohol in it. And after a while I find that everyone else is too drunk to notice that I'm sober, LOL
I just dont mention to anyone that I dont drink. Like if I make less of a deal about it, then no notices when I'm not - like if I get a mineral water with a squeeze of lime, no one knows that it doesnt have alcohol in it. And after a while I find that everyone else is too drunk to notice that I'm sober, LOL
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2006
- Messages
- 4,084
- Reaction score
- 0
Originally Posted by MindySue /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yea I should.
Today I made even more friends! Didn't sit with that girl at all, we talk minimal now..just about the project we are doing together. I feel like I 'belong' more now.
I'm glad thing are working out good for u honey! just be your-self and u will make even more new friends in no time
Today I made even more friends! Didn't sit with that girl at all, we talk minimal now..just about the project we are doing together. I feel like I 'belong' more now.
I'm glad thing are working out good for u honey! just be your-self and u will make even more new friends in no time
