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I need to get this out from my chest.
My father-in-law lives with us ever since we got married because he's old and because my husband has promised to her beloved mother to take care of his father. I thought it was OK, and I had no problem about living with his father since I never knew how is it like to have a father in my whole life.
I never thought it was hard for me to deal with this, it took me two years to adjust my life with his father. It was TOUGH and unpleasant, but I love my husband so much so I accept everything and try to be patient. It worked on the third years; I finally managed to get used to with my father in-law ANNOYING and NOSEY character.
But, unfortunately, right after the moment I thought I'd have a happy life, my sister-in-law came to this house without even talks or discusses this thing first with us, she just suddenly decided to get divorced with his drunk-pathetic husband and live with us without any PLAN for her future life.
At first, I thought we need to help her because she's in a HARD situation and I feel sorry for her daughter which I really like her a lot. She didn't even tell us for how long she'd live with us. I thought maybe like one or two years until she can find a proper job.
Her life is getting SO MUCH better after she divorced, she doesn't even have to COOK, or CLEAN the house, all she's done is just went to her part time work which is only 3 times a week (as I can recall) and came home at 8 PM everyday when the dinners is served. How many times she cooked in a month? ONE time. How many times she Vacuum Clean the house? 6 months ONE time. Who wash her father dirty clothes etc everyday? ME!
She never even wash his father dirty dishes/cups; she only wash her own dirty dish/cups. While; on the other hand, I always wash her kid's and her dirty dish/glass or cups. But, she never did the same to us/me!
I'm strong, and I keep going I tried to ignore it and try to be patient again with her. But, one day she came home and proudly announced that she finally got a FULL TIME job and told her father that she needs a CAR since she got a new job and there were no public transportations she can use.
It's none of my business, and I had no problem with that as long as she's not asking my husband's money. And you know what? She SMASHED the car to other people's house on her first day of her new job. Her father again who's paying for the damaged, and for everything she had done.
Last month she nearly got a woman killed and almost lost her car license because of that, her father again who paid everything.
Today I just heard that my father in-law is going to get another new car for her since the old car is small needs more $$ for the maintenances.
For a second there, I thought it was none of my business. But, hey she already got a job and she NEVER PAID anything in her life ever since she lives with us (mind you this house is OUR house, her father has another 2 houses one in Osaka and the other one right beside our house). Why she is still HERE? It almost 3 years now.
Why don't get she a new apartment instead of a NEW CAR and let me live my life!
You know, this is not FAIR. My mother divorced twice in her life, and it was I who had to "pay" for everything! I never know how is it like to live with REAL parents ever since I was a baby, I never know how does it feels to have your father buy things for you. I never even know how does it feels to eat breakfast/dinner with the family! AND I never know how does it feels to have a "HOME". And when I finally I thought I have a "HOME," someone came took my happiness away from me.
I remember I always have to "work" or do something so I won't feel bad about staying in other people's house. I got raped when I was 7 and 8 years old and had sexually abused my step father in my junior high years.
I didn't even know that I have a mother not until I turned 8 years old. I thought I was all alone with my grandma and had no one else to hold on to, I had to forced myself to be strong in my innocent ages. I didn't live like other regular kids did. My childhood is the worst thing I ever had in my life.
And now, right in front of my face. I see someone who's in the same positions with my mother, divorced and jobless. But, she got everything she wants so EASILY! She didn't have to pay for meal she has everyday, she didn't have to send away her daughter so she can find a job and provide her life. NO, she didn't! I took care of her daughter while she's away looking for a job.
Maybe none of you could understand my feelings, but every time I looked back and compared their life with my life before, I feel so sad and feel as though this is not fair. Why me...
I do not blame God nor anyone for whatever ever happened in my life; I KNOW that am NOT the only one who suffered and had unhappy childhood in this world, but still everything seems so unfair to me at this moment.
I feel suffocated and hard to breath right now. I used to just smile when I feel sad, but I couldn't take it anymore. It's too hard for me to keep this inside and pretend that I am happy; I don't know whether am happy or not right now, but at least I still can buy anything I want, but I guess money couldn't make me happy enough.
My life will never going to be easy, I will always have be ready for next "task of life". I am sorry for the shock and long post; I just need to get this out from my chest.
Thank you for reading.
PS. Please no personal PM regarding this thread.
My father-in-law lives with us ever since we got married because he's old and because my husband has promised to her beloved mother to take care of his father. I thought it was OK, and I had no problem about living with his father since I never knew how is it like to have a father in my whole life.
I never thought it was hard for me to deal with this, it took me two years to adjust my life with his father. It was TOUGH and unpleasant, but I love my husband so much so I accept everything and try to be patient. It worked on the third years; I finally managed to get used to with my father in-law ANNOYING and NOSEY character.
But, unfortunately, right after the moment I thought I'd have a happy life, my sister-in-law came to this house without even talks or discusses this thing first with us, she just suddenly decided to get divorced with his drunk-pathetic husband and live with us without any PLAN for her future life.
At first, I thought we need to help her because she's in a HARD situation and I feel sorry for her daughter which I really like her a lot. She didn't even tell us for how long she'd live with us. I thought maybe like one or two years until she can find a proper job.
Her life is getting SO MUCH better after she divorced, she doesn't even have to COOK, or CLEAN the house, all she's done is just went to her part time work which is only 3 times a week (as I can recall) and came home at 8 PM everyday when the dinners is served. How many times she cooked in a month? ONE time. How many times she Vacuum Clean the house? 6 months ONE time. Who wash her father dirty clothes etc everyday? ME!
She never even wash his father dirty dishes/cups; she only wash her own dirty dish/cups. While; on the other hand, I always wash her kid's and her dirty dish/glass or cups. But, she never did the same to us/me!
I'm strong, and I keep going I tried to ignore it and try to be patient again with her. But, one day she came home and proudly announced that she finally got a FULL TIME job and told her father that she needs a CAR since she got a new job and there were no public transportations she can use.
It's none of my business, and I had no problem with that as long as she's not asking my husband's money. And you know what? She SMASHED the car to other people's house on her first day of her new job. Her father again who's paying for the damaged, and for everything she had done.
Last month she nearly got a woman killed and almost lost her car license because of that, her father again who paid everything.
Today I just heard that my father in-law is going to get another new car for her since the old car is small needs more $$ for the maintenances.
For a second there, I thought it was none of my business. But, hey she already got a job and she NEVER PAID anything in her life ever since she lives with us (mind you this house is OUR house, her father has another 2 houses one in Osaka and the other one right beside our house). Why she is still HERE? It almost 3 years now.
Why don't get she a new apartment instead of a NEW CAR and let me live my life!
You know, this is not FAIR. My mother divorced twice in her life, and it was I who had to "pay" for everything! I never know how is it like to live with REAL parents ever since I was a baby, I never know how does it feels to have your father buy things for you. I never even know how does it feels to eat breakfast/dinner with the family! AND I never know how does it feels to have a "HOME". And when I finally I thought I have a "HOME," someone came took my happiness away from me.
I remember I always have to "work" or do something so I won't feel bad about staying in other people's house. I got raped when I was 7 and 8 years old and had sexually abused my step father in my junior high years.
I didn't even know that I have a mother not until I turned 8 years old. I thought I was all alone with my grandma and had no one else to hold on to, I had to forced myself to be strong in my innocent ages. I didn't live like other regular kids did. My childhood is the worst thing I ever had in my life.
And now, right in front of my face. I see someone who's in the same positions with my mother, divorced and jobless. But, she got everything she wants so EASILY! She didn't have to pay for meal she has everyday, she didn't have to send away her daughter so she can find a job and provide her life. NO, she didn't! I took care of her daughter while she's away looking for a job.
Maybe none of you could understand my feelings, but every time I looked back and compared their life with my life before, I feel so sad and feel as though this is not fair. Why me...
I do not blame God nor anyone for whatever ever happened in my life; I KNOW that am NOT the only one who suffered and had unhappy childhood in this world, but still everything seems so unfair to me at this moment.
I feel suffocated and hard to breath right now. I used to just smile when I feel sad, but I couldn't take it anymore. It's too hard for me to keep this inside and pretend that I am happy; I don't know whether am happy or not right now, but at least I still can buy anything I want, but I guess money couldn't make me happy enough.
My life will never going to be easy, I will always have be ready for next "task of life". I am sorry for the shock and long post; I just need to get this out from my chest.
Thank you for reading.
PS. Please no personal PM regarding this thread.