- Joined
- Jul 30, 2005
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I'm an anxious,antisocial smoker--meaning, I don't smoke just to be part of a group and relax and blend in;I smoke when I feel as if I absolutely HAVE to have a cigarette,or die--it gets that vile and extreme. Wanting/wishing to be invisible, I'll sit in the back yard and smoke all by myself, hunched over, ashamed, miserable to be back in this low state of despair.Fortunately my husband hates the smell of smoke and the act/repurcussions of smoking both enough that I actually smoke very rarely--I go thru maybe a pack and a half a year.And his anger at me for smoking isn't half what my own is, for it. No matter how little I may now smoke,any addiction can grow, and I've wanted to quit completely for years. I'll keep trying...