Tired of spanking!

[mintesa]

Originally Posted by NYAngel98 I don't think you should beat the kid... but I absolutely CANNOT STAND when I'm out somewhere - and some kid is running around causing havoc and the parents are 5 feet away and apparently just ignore him. They do a simple... "So-n-So... stop that". and then when the kid continues to do what they're doing... "so-n-so stop that" and this continues for what seems like forever - and apparently they just don't care. I don't know how some of these new methods of parenting work - and although I don't have kids... I see parents out there that have no problem letting their kids act like animals & disturb everyone around them while they just ignore it & pretend like they don't know what's going on. This happened while we were sitting outside a Chili's restaurant last weekend... a group of like 5 people (2 in their 20's I would say, a few areound 9-10, and a kid who must've been about 4) Well the 4 year old proceeded to run through & stomp on the bushes, take the beeper (that buzzes when your table is ready) and smash it the ground a million times, throw rocks at the building and cars parked right in front, and then scream at the top of his lungs... and I guess the 20 something year olds were his parents b/c all they said was "Michael. Stop that. Daddy says stop" and then returned to ignoring the kid while he continued to throw rocks. Drives me crazy!

Sorry... had to vent! lol they drive me crazy too.

 

[mintesa]

i was spanked a lot by my mom. a lot. probably 3 a week. the worst i remember was when i was fighting with my cousin. she just fights me coz she knows my mom will beat me for it. my mom was on the toilet and shouted my name. so i went into the toilet. she said to stand still there, and then she spanked me with the hard end of the belt(while she was on the toilet). it hurt like hell, i had blue little spots all over my legs.

i remember the last time she spanked me, when i was around 15, she spanked me with a clotheshanger.

i remember all the times she spanked me, i wont forgive any, and i wont spank my kids either.

i have babysitted my little sister and my friends babies a lot. i know they are irritating sometimes, but they just want attention and try to get your attention in every way.

really, what could those little 2 feet humans even do, that is so horrible, that they have to be spanked?

i know my mom got spanked a lot when she was little, she has a broken finger, and a huge scar on her back, where my grandmom spearsed her with an umbrella.

enough is enough. i would have been the same Anna now, without the spanking, only now, when i miss my mom since she lives so far away, i always remember the spanking too, it makes me hate her.

 

[Nessicle]

Originally Posted by mintesa i was spanked a lot by my mom. a lot. probably 3 a week. the worst i remember was when i was fighting with my cousin. she just fights me coz she knows my mom will beat me for it. my mom was on the toilet and shouted my name. so i went into the toilet. she said to stand still there, and then she spanked me with the hard end of the belt(while she was on the toilet). it hurt like hell, i had blue little spots all over my legs.i remember the last time she spanked me, when i was around 15, she spanked me with a clotheshanger.

i remember all the times she spanked me, i wont forgive any, and i wont spank my kids either.

i have babysitted my little sister and my friends babies a lot. i know they are irritating sometimes, but they just want attention and try to get your attention in every way.

really, what could those little 2 feet humans even do, that is so horrible, that they have to be spanked?

i know my mom got spanked a lot when she was little, she has a broken finger, and a huge scar on her back, where my grandmom spearsed her with an umbrella.

enough is enough. i would have been the same Anna now, without the spanking, only now, when i miss my mom since she lives so far away, i always remember the spanking too, it makes me hate her.

ouch! That's awful! Your poor mom! I think in terms of abuse and stuff that a lot of people abuse others because they were abused. I only partly believe this though as you know what is wrong. I was sexually abused as a young child but I know it was wrong and I would never do anything like that to any child, it makes me feel sick to the stomach. I believe that with smacking/spanking you must be in control because if you lose control then that's when it gets scary. If I did have to resort to a smacking of my child then I wouldn't make a habit of it.

 

[mintesa]

Originally Posted by smallpuppy Im totally against it!!!

You won't believe this but I am 21 years old and I still get ocasionally spanked by my mom when she loses control. I am originally from venezuela(but have been in the states for 8 years) and it is ok for you to spank your kids there..it's not like in the states where you can call the police..etc..I came out ok..I am very studious..respect people however I have a very low self esteem eventhough people always tell me I'm beautiful..etc..and I still have the emotional scars when my mom spanked me..if you are a parent PLEASE don't do it!! YOu are showing your kid to be violent and to lose control..after all you want to teach them self control!!! It also teaches your kids to be totally terrified of you and when they grow up they will never tell you what they are doing!! ANd if they do they will lie to you to try to avoid being spanked!! I know this because I do it still!!! If my mother wasn't the way she is I would tell her everything without the fear of being spanked!! Please you want a relationship with your kid!!! same here, totally agree. i never told my mom anything, nothing. not even that i bought a new shirt, or a new pencil. or that i have a new friend in school.

 

[LittleMissV]

Originally Posted by No7fan /img/forum/go_quote.gif Mother used a leather belt once

Ouch that would hurt!!

 

[dioraddict_xo]

Spanking a child isnt right... i dont believe in it and i agree with how the facts claims it devalues a child and how it promotes a hitting model. I am currently taking a course in Social work and we are taught different forms of child abuse.. Although some may see it as a form of discipline, its viewed in todays society as child abuse, & i just wish laws against spanking wouldve passed years ago... I hope you guys dont mind that i print this topic out.. just mainly for the diversity of many views and the information from Tony... I wouldnt mind writing my essay on this.

 

[Indigowaters]

Originally Posted by FeistyFemme /img/forum/go_quote.gif Obviously spanking is very controversial.
I don't see it as violence at all - I was spanked as a child, and I don't resent my mother (who was the only one who spanked me). Trust me, if I got a spanking, I'm sure I deserved it. She didn't spank me for just any little thing. I never was left with bruises, broken bones, welts, or anything else.

Believe me, I have turned out just fine. I don't advocate abuse by any means, but to me, spanking is not abuse.

I'll have to cosign onto this. My mom did a wonderful job of raising me, but if I got out of line and was doing something I really had no business doing, of course I would get spanked. Spanked not abused. Two totally different things. And I believe the post with the biblical references were taken out of context where it said "spare the rod spoil the child". It was saying that your child will not die if you correct them with the rod. With that said, I've turned out to be a highly-moral human being. I've never once been arrested or committed any acts of violence. I don't even like horror movies or action movies with too much blood. My mom didn't spank me every time I moved. That's abuse. But when a child gets beyond the point of talking and being rational and all other avenues have been tried, I think spanking can be used as a last resort.

 

[speerrituall1]

Originally Posted by Indigowaters /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'll have to cosign onto this. My mom did a wonderful job of raising me, but if I got out of line and was doing something I really had no business doing, of course I would get spanked. Spanked not abused. Two totally different things. And I believe the post with the biblical references were taken out of context where it said "spare the rod spoil the child". It was saying that your child will not die if you correct them with the rod. With that said, I've turned out to be a highly-moral human being. I've never once been arrested or committed any acts of violence. I don't even like horror movies or action movies with too much blood. My mom didn't spank me every time I moved. That's abuse. But when a child gets beyond the point of talking and being rational and all other avenues have been tried, I think spanking can be used as a last resort.

 

[rlise]

spanking is ok in my eyes. i mean if you spank your kid more then actually talk to your child well then you are giong to have issues w/ that kid being more phsyically violent. but when a good butt whopping is in order i give it , my son is 3 and he hurts his lil brother on a daily basis ON PURPOSE, now most of the time he gets a time-out or gets sent to his room for a few. but when i gotten tired of repeating myself and tanner is bruised all over, then chase gets his rear end tore up!

also i believe it GREATLY depends upon the childs personality , there are kids that are rather intelligent and can understand you and have calm attitudes. however like my 3yr who is loud, crazy, doesnt want to hear anything, etcc... my kid needs a good butt whopping to put him back in check, but like the other types of kids prolly dont require them. its all about temperment IMO. shot in my city , pretty much every young kid i see in public is usually getting his hide tore up because he/she is acting like a fool and is old enough to behave properly.

its my right as parent to make sure my kids have manners, just like the first couple of replies to this post stated, some people let there kids ruin others time at a resturant or wherever. i will be damned if i allow my kid to a0 behave like that B) have people talking about my kids!

ok im done! LMAO

 

[han]

Originally Posted by NYAngel98 /img/forum/go_quote.gif I don't think you should beat the kid... but I absolutely CANNOT STAND when I'm out somewhere - and some kid is running around causing havoc and the parents are 5 feet away and apparently just ignore him. They do a simple... "So-n-So... stop that". and then when the kid continues to do what they're doing... "so-n-so stop that" and this continues for what seems like forever - and apparently they just don't care. I don't know how some of these new methods of parenting work - and although I don't have kids... I see parents out there that have no problem letting their kids act like animals & disturb everyone around them while they just ignore it & pretend like they don't know what's going on. This happened while we were sitting outside a Chili's restaurant last weekend... a group of like 5 people (2 in their 20's I would say, a few areound 9-10, and a kid who must've been about 4) Well the 4 year old proceeded to run through & stomp on the bushes, take the beeper (that buzzes when your table is ready) and smash it the ground a million times, throw rocks at the building and cars parked right in front, and then scream at the top of his lungs... and I guess the 20 something year olds were his parents b/c all they said was "Michael. Stop that. Daddy says stop" and then returned to ignoring the kid while he continued to throw rocks. Drives me crazy!

Sorry... had to vent! lol i know that drives you crazy when parents look the other way, but what drives me crazy and piss me off is when out in public and the child acts up then the parent starts yelling,curseing im gonna beat your ass and starts hitting the child that is now worst than befor because there screaming , im like wow! the parent knows better but is acting worst than the child.. and spanking is not ok in my house

 

[Indigowaters]

Originally Posted by han /img/forum/go_quote.gif i know that drives you crazy when parents look the other way, but what drives me crazy and piss me off is when out in public and the child acts up then the parent starts yelling,curseing im gonna beat your ass and starts hitting the child that is now worst than befor because there screaming , im like wow! the parent knows better but is acting worst than the child.. and spanking is not ok in my house I have to agree with both sides. I hate when a parent doesn't have their child in order but I hate when a mother is trying to knock her child's back in. I almost want to shake her myself. I got little taps on my hand that didn't even sting to communicate when something was not tolerable as a child. As I grew bigger I got spankings for very serious stuff (and I could probably count how many on one hand). But I hate it when parents just do nothing and let their kids run all around knocking stuff over and misbehaving. Those are the worst parents to me. Then they act as if no one can say anything to their child even when they are doing things to other people! I say if you don't want to raise them and teach them how to act, why have them?

 

[han]

Originally Posted by Indigowaters /img/forum/go_quote.gif I have to agree with both sides. I hate when a parent doesn't have their child in order but I hate when a mother is trying to knock her child's back in. I almost want to shake her myself. I got little taps on my hand that didn't even sting to communicate when something was not tolerable as a child. As I grew bigger I got spankings for very serious stuff (and I could probably count how many on one hand). But I hate it when parents just do nothing and let their kids run all around knocking stuff over and misbehaving. Those are the worst parents to me. Then they act as if no one can say anything to their child even when they are doing things to other people! I say if you don't want to raise them and teach them how to act, why have them? hi there indigowater i have no doubt in my mind that your mother did a great job raiseing you.. what ever she did i give her credit

 

[Indigowaters]

Originally Posted by han /img/forum/go_quote.gif hi there indigowater i have no doubt in my mind that your mother did a great job raiseing you.. what ever she did i give her credit

Thanks!

 

[Little_Lisa]

Originally Posted by Indigowaters /img/forum/go_quote.gif I have to agree with both sides. I hate when a parent doesn't have their child in order but I hate when a mother is trying to knock her child's back in. I almost want to shake her myself. I got little taps on my hand that didn't even sting to communicate when something was not tolerable as a child. As I grew bigger I got spankings for very serious stuff (and I could probably count how many on one hand). But I hate it when parents just do nothing and let their kids run all around knocking stuff over and misbehaving. Those are the worst parents to me. Then they act as if no one can say anything to their child even when they are doing things to other people! I say if you don't want to raise them and teach them how to act, why have them? Amen!

 

[Saja]

Originally Posted by han /img/forum/go_quote.gif i know that drives you crazy when parents look the other way, but what drives me crazy and piss me off is when out in public and the child acts up then the parent starts yelling,curseing im gonna beat your ass and starts hitting the child that is now worst than befor because there screaming , im like wow! the parent knows better but is acting worst than the child.. and spanking is not ok in my house I agree. That bothers me to...there was a woman yellling at her teenage daughter in the store i work last night. It was just pathetic. When a child is acting up though, thats when its time for mommy ( or daddy) to take child and leave. Either leave for good , or at least take child to the car till they calm down.

 

[Aquilah]

Luckily, I've never had my kids do anything worthwhile of spanking... Even if so, I'm not sure I could do it! Having grown up in a home where spankings seemed to be given out for almost any behavior really did it in for me!

 

[Intrigue]

Without spanking I believe kids become spoiled. I'm not saying to constantly spank them, but I don't think it hurts. Sometimes it's the only way they'll learn. I know I was that way. lol

 

[Tabitha]

My thoughts on making the decision to spank should be left up to the parents and I don't think a person should be condemned for it as long as it's not abusive. While I'm all for trying timeouts and other methods of discipline, sometimes it just does not work whereas a spanking will definitely get a child's attention. Example: Your child keeps running out in the street do you say to them (a) if you do that again I'm going to put you in timeout or ( B) if you do that again and I'm going to beat your ass! Which one do you think is going to grab their attention?! LOL! (Just trying to add a little humor.)

Seriously though, I don't see how a spanking inhibits a child in any form unless it's abusive. When I was growing up we walked the line in comparison to children today and if we misbehaved at school the teachers had no problems taking us behind the cubby holes and paddling our behinds. Was it embarrassing? Yes, I'd say so, but I'm sure it made some of the kids think about what was acceptable behaviour and what wasn't. Did the threat of a paddling cause fear? Again, yes I'm sure it did, but if made a person think and make wiser decisions how could it be detrimental?

In my homelife, my dad was the disciplinarian. We didn't get whippings very often, but when we did we knew it because we were whipped with a belt. He'd always warn us beforehand and if we chose not to listen then we got punished for it. Did the whippings make him a bad person? No, I don't think so since all 3 of us turned out to be decent people in my opinion.

The thing I find interesting though is the decline of society (in my opinion) over the generations. Society in general has supposedly become more enlightened saying we don't do this to our kids and we can't do that, but yet the kids seem to keep getting worse. Afterall, when I was a teen (in the 80's) you didn't hear of stuff like mass school shootings and the like and I thought my generation was a rowdy group at the time. Also, I don't remember any debates back then about spanking/corporal punishment. Maybe spanking is old school and I should be above it, but sometimes I wonder if the lack of it isn't part of the problem.

 

[Shelley]

I don't have children but if I ever do I will never spank. I was spanked as a young child but that progressed to worse as I became older. When I was around 7, maybe younger, I remember my mom using words as weapons, emotional abuse to intimidate me and that lasted throught the teenage years. Sometimes she would slap or pinch me as I got older. Did it make a difference, no! In fact I became more terrified of her as a parent and anyone who raised a hand scared me. This is off topic in relation to the subject, but after surviving a recent and very violent relationship, I now really hate any form of physical discipline.

 

[StereoXGirl]

Great articles, Tony!

Honestly, I was spanked regularly as a child (when I was misbehaving, that is) and I turned out fine.

I think there is a big difference between spanking a child as punishment for misbehavior and spanking/beating/abusing a child out of anger.