December 2013 - No/Low Buy Thread

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Ladies- I went to target and didn't even browse the makeup section! Granted I was on a tight schedule and didn't have time but the old me would have made time! So far the only makeup I bought this month was the occ mini lip tar-which I've wanted since it came out. And I used the sephora promo soooo it doesn't really count right? ;) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Also- I'm pretty sure I'm going to cancel ipsy. There's little value in it for me and I think I would rather save the 10$ a month for something I actually want. Instead of trying to make what random stuff they send me "work"

 
Quote: Originally Posted by Sheeeeeelby /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  I'm DYING to go to Walgreens/CVS and check out whats in their beauty clearance. But I'm going to resist. Instead I'm going to go browse around other places to (hopefully) finish my Christmas shopping. I played around with my stash of lippies and swatched them all on my hand last night. That was fun. I realized I need to not be impulsive and buy lippies that clearly won't look good on me! 

I'm also really tempted to order lots and lots of nail polish. Damn those indie brands and their limited editions. Sigh. Maybe after Christmas and if I get some money. 

I'm thinking about giving Ipsy and BB one more month then cancelling them both or just cancel Ipsy. I'm acquiring too much makeup! It saddens me to cancel - well that and fear of missing something good but I think I need to do it. 

I've also started on a 2014 goals and to-do list. I almost never do a new years resolution thing but this year is going to be a big change hopefully. 

If it helps, I went into both Walgreens and CVS, and was SO disappointed in their beauty clearance.  It was all stuff I didn't want.  I probably should not have even tempted myself while on a low buy, but I was in there killing time, and you know how it goes.  Anyway, I was happy they had such uninteresting items, because that made it easier to stick to the low buy.

 
So for this month, I've bought: - A NARS lip gloss - A couple wet n wild eye shadows to be dc'd in 2014 - NARS sheer glow and light reflecting powder loose I was doing good until the nars sheer glow/lrp, but I needed a no spf foundation and they will get used. I have a package from november coming and my vib sale items to open on christmas so hopefully I can hang on until the new year and sometime after! One week until Christmas. Here we go!

 
Quote:Originally Posted by tulosai /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Yeah I cancelled Ipsy 6 months ish ago now and I have no regrets.  The best bag for me was the one with the agran oil and after that it went downhill for me.  It was a LOT of makeup and polish, and only a small amount of it worked for me, and it all just got to be toooo much.  I do think it's a great value if you like the stuff they send you, but if you don't usually and/or if you do like it but already have lots of makeup and rarely use what you get, it's no longer a good deal. I actually think the smaller samples in BB are an advantage to me- I can most always use them up within a month and get excited for my next box (though I'm not crying or anything on the occasions when they send me a full sized item haha).


Same - I cancelled back in September and I was so afraid I would "love" the next bags that came out -- so far, I've not been jealous of anything in those bags. If I want one of those items, I can take my $10 and go buy it. For me, I was tired of getting the same brands over and over again. I was accumulating makeup that I would never use. Just wasn't worth it to me... so for the last three months, I haven't invested $10 in Ipsy and I don't regret it, at all!
 
Somebody stop me! I am SUPER stressed out with wedding planning stuff because my fiancée is dragging his damn feet and apparently thinks a guest list is all or nothing. I've been asking him for one for MONTHS, no joke, and our wedding is March 8th, 2014. I NEED invites to go out by January 2nd and he has given me NOTHING, no names, no list, no rough count, nothing. Now it seems he's waiting on his sister to send him a spreadsheet with family names & addresses and he apparently "can't do anything" until he gets that from her. ARGH...I wrote my guest list out BY HAND on a piece of paper TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS ago. That's all I'm asking him to do at this point so we can order enough invites this weekend so they can be printed and we get them in time. I am about ready to tell him I'm only ordering enough for the people on my guest list and he's on his own!!! So any who, I am so stressed out I have polishes in my cart at various places and I am so tempted to place an order. I know it won't fix anything or get me his guest list. Please stop me!!!!

 
Quote: Originally Posted by Pollysmom /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Somebody stop me! I am SUPER stressed out with wedding planning stuff because my fiancée is dragging his damn feet and apparently thinks a guest list is all or nothing. I've been asking him for one for MONTHS, no joke, and our wedding is March 8th, 2014. I NEED invites to go out by January 2nd and he has given me NOTHING, no names, no list, no rough count, nothing. Now it seems he's waiting on his sister to send him a spreadsheet with family names & addresses and he apparently "can't do anything" until he gets that from her. ARGH...I wrote my guest list out BY HAND on a piece of paper TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS ago. That's all I'm asking him to do at this point so we can order enough invites this weekend so they can be printed and we get them in time. I am about ready to tell him I'm only ordering enough for the people on my guest list and he's on his own!!!

So any who, I am so stressed out I have polishes in my cart at various places and I am so tempted to place an order. I know it won't fix anything or get me his guest list. Please stop me!!!!
The more you spend on polishes now, the less you'll be able to spend on looking perfect on your big day!  Take all the money that you're about to spend on those polishes and put it aside into a "beauty" fund for your wedding day - for hair, makeup, etc.  

Also, as far as the list for invites goes, some men are great at this, some are... well, useless.  When my hubby and I started wedding planning, I called a meeting with HIS female relatives (mom, grandma, aunt, etc) and asked THEM to provide me with addresses, asked about any family wedding traditions from their side that they wanted incorporated (I held veto power on these, of course, lol.  Thankfully it wasn't anything more than wanting two of the little kids in the family as ringbearer/flowergirl)  and let them feel like they were a part of everything, which I've heard over and over that they really appreciated.

So get his sister or his mom's contact info, call them directly, and CALMLY ask for their help.  In fact, if the mom is at all organized, she probably has a whole list of addresses from sending Christmas cards by her side!  Let her know how many people you're inviting from your side, and what number you'd like as a total amount, so she can help you prioritize - She can also give you an idea of who you invite what will probably not be able to make it due to travel or work conflicts, but would 1) be insulted to not get an invite or B) will probably sent a gift anyway.  It's a win-win - you'll have the info you need, his family will feel included, and your fiance will probably feel happier that he doesn't have to make the decision of whether his second cousin's step-brother needs an invite.

Best of luck!  We are here for you!

ETA - Also, I know you just got some fabulous polishes from your Nail Santa!  Go give yourself a mani with one of your pretty new polishes!!!
icon_cheesygrin.gif


 
Quote: Originally Posted by Pollysmom /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Somebody stop me! I am SUPER stressed out with wedding planning stuff because my fiancée is dragging his damn feet and apparently thinks a guest list is all or nothing. I've been asking him for one for MONTHS, no joke, and our wedding is March 8th, 2014. I NEED invites to go out by January 2nd and he has given me NOTHING, no names, no list, no rough count, nothing. Now it seems he's waiting on his sister to send him a spreadsheet with family names & addresses and he apparently "can't do anything" until he gets that from her. ARGH...I wrote my guest list out BY HAND on a piece of paper TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS ago. That's all I'm asking him to do at this point so we can order enough invites this weekend so they can be printed and we get them in time. I am about ready to tell him I'm only ordering enough for the people on my guest list and he's on his own!!!

So any who, I am so stressed out I have polishes in my cart at various places and I am so tempted to place an order. I know it won't fix anything or get me his guest list. Please stop me!!!!

Unfotunately, buying polishes won't solve your communication problem and while they might make you feel better for a few minutes the current problem will still be there waiting to be resolved. The only way to remove the stress is to get the information you need. Can you call the sister? I sympathize with you and I'm sorry this is causing stress.

My husband was useless regarding wedding planning - I went straight to the source - his mother! Honestly though, I was rather ambivalent during the whole wedding planning. At the time I was finishing my master's degree, working full time, and heavily involved in a couple of community organizations and I think my sister did more of my wedding planning than I did.

 
Quote: Originally Posted by Pollysmom /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Somebody stop me! I am SUPER stressed out with wedding planning stuff because my fiancée is dragging his damn feet and apparently thinks a guest list is all or nothing. I've been asking him for one for MONTHS, no joke, and our wedding is March 8th, 2014. I NEED invites to go out by January 2nd and he has given me NOTHING, no names, no list, no rough count, nothing. Now it seems he's waiting on his sister to send him a spreadsheet with family names & addresses and he apparently "can't do anything" until he gets that from her. ARGH...I wrote my guest list out BY HAND on a piece of paper TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS ago. That's all I'm asking him to do at this point so we can order enough invites this weekend so they can be printed and we get them in time. I am about ready to tell him I'm only ordering enough for the people on my guest list and he's on his own!!!

So any who, I am so stressed out I have polishes in my cart at various places and I am so tempted to place an order. I know it won't fix anything or get me his guest list. Please stop me!!!!
I'd say, Put together a nice big order for yourself. Then go to your fiancée and tell him that he's is going to buy that for you if he doesn't get cracking right away. Maybe that will motivate him, and if it doesn't you get a nice present.

I'd probably call his sister and go over the invites together, and maybe your fiancée doesn't know where to start. Anyway, best of luck!

 
Quote: Originally Posted by magicalmom /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  The more you spend on polishes now, the less you'll be able to spend on looking perfect on your big day!  Take all the money that you're about to spend on those polishes and put it aside into a "beauty" fund for your wedding day - for hair, makeup, etc.

Also, as far as the list for invites goes, some men are great at this, some are... well, useless.  When my hubby and I started wedding planning, I called a meeting with HIS female relatives (mom, grandma, aunt, etc) and asked THEM to provide me with addresses, asked about any family wedding traditions from their side that they wanted incorporated (I held veto power on these, of course, lol.  Thankfully it wasn't anything more than wanting two of the little kids in the family as ringbearer/flowergirl)  and let them feel like they were a part of everything, which I've heard over and over that they really appreciated.

So get his sister or his mom's contact info, call them directly, and CALMLY ask for their help.  In fact, if the mom is at all organized, she probably has a whole list of addresses from sending Christmas cards by her side!  Let her know how many people you're inviting from your side, and what number you'd like as a total amount, so she can help you prioritize - She can also give you an idea of who you invite what will probably not be able to make it due to travel or work conflicts, but would 1) be insulted to not get an invite or B) will probably sent a gift anyway.  It's a win-win - you'll have the info you need, his family will feel included, and your fiance will probably feel happier that he doesn't have to make the decision of whether his second cousin's step-brother needs an invite.

Best of luck!  We are here for you!

ETA - Also, I know you just got some fabulous polishes from your Nail Santa!  Go give yourself a mani with one of your pretty new polishes!!!
icon_cheesygrin.gif



Quote: Originally Posted by page5 /img/forum/go_quote.gif
 
Unfotunately, buying polishes won't solve your communication problem and while they might make you feel better for a few minutes the current problem will still be there waiting to be resolved. The only way to remove the stress is to get the information you need. Can you call the sister? I sympathize with you and I'm sorry this is causing stress.

My husband was useless regarding wedding planning - I went straight to the source - his mother! Honestly though, I was rather ambivalent during the whole wedding planning. At the time I was finishing my master's degree, working full time, and heavily involved in a couple of community organizations and I think my sister did more of my wedding planning than I did.


Quote: Originally Posted by Misame /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  I'd say, Put together a nice big order for yourself. Then go to your fiancée and tell him that he's is going to buy that for you if he doesn't get cracking right away. Maybe that will motivate him, and if it doesn't you get a nice present.

I'd probably call his sister and go over the invites together, and maybe your fiancée doesn't know where to start. Anyway, best of luck!

Thanks ladies!!  I probably won't buy anything but it just gets worse.  I asked his mom, his mom told me to ask his sister, and his sister isn't answering or sending the list that she promised to send.  My matron of honor (my best friend) sent emails saying she would orgaize the shower and bachlorette party and isn't getting any more from them than I am.  His one sister told her flat out isn't helping with or going to the bachlorette party, and that was after BOTH of his sisters suggested we go see Blue Man Group, so my friend got prices and dates and everything, and she got back no response from one, and the snippy response from the other one.

I am just to the point to tell my friend to plan for my friends and family and if his family wants to do anything or be included, they will just have to do it on their own or not at all, I just don't care anymore.  He's been married before, I haven't, so I'm not sure if they feel like they've done all this once before and don't feel the need to do it again or what.  And every time I bring it up to my fiancee, he just says "relax, it will get done."  Mine will, I'm not so sure about his anymore.

 
Quote: Originally Posted by Pollysmom /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  Thanks ladies!!  I probably won't buy anything but it just gets worse.  I asked his mom, his mom told me to ask his sister, and his sister isn't answering or sending the list that she promised to send.  My matron of honor (my best friend) sent emails saying she would orgaize the shower and bachlorette party and isn't getting any more from them than I am.  His one sister told her flat out isn't helping with or going to the bachlorette party, and that was after BOTH of his sisters suggested we go see Blue Man Group, so my friend got prices and dates and everything, and she got back no response from one, and the snippy response from the other one.

I am just to the point to tell my friend to plan for my friends and family and if his family wants to do anything or be included, they will just have to do it on their own or not at all, I just don't care anymore.  He's been married before, I haven't, so I'm not sure if they feel like they've done all this once before and don't feel the need to do it again or what.  And every time I bring it up to my fiancee, he just says "relax, it will get done."  Mine will, I'm not so sure about his anymore.
I'm so sorry that his family is being like that! It's truly telling of their personalities if that's how they're treating their brother's soon-to-be wife. Just do you, get everything you want planned for you, and it's their fault if they're not included at this point.

 
Ugh, I guess sort of like Pollysmom, I feel SO depressed the past few days, and it is leading me to want to make a purchase, even though I know it will not make me feel better for more than a few hours.  I don't really have any major event even setting me off though... just general BLAH-ness which I feel like might get 'better' if I buy some nail polish. 

 
Quote: Originally Posted by Olga Ok /img/forum/go_quote.gif

I agree too. Did the groom want the wedding in the first place?
Yeah this is sort of a good question. To be honest (and as respectfully as possible, Pollysmom!) I think it is often a BIIIIT of a disaster if one person has been married before and the other hasn't in terms of the wedding itself (NOT the marriage) especially if the person who has been married before is the man.  It's just rough, especially if the man wasn't into planning the wedding the first time around and now is being asked to do it again.

I'd actually recommend sitting down with your fiance generally and saying something like 'I realize planning this is obviously a higher priority to me than it is to you.  I accept and understand that. The fact is, though, the wedding is only 3 months away, and we need to solidify a few things.  These are the things I ABSOLUTELY need from you, and these are the DROP DEAD dates that I need them by.  If you can't do this for me, it will really hurt me, because you are ignoring something that is very important to me."

The caps are meant to show emphasis, not to imply you should shout :p /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Try to keep the list of things you absolutely need from him as short as possible, and remind him about a week before each of his deadlines.  The rest just take over planning yourself.  I know that's annoying and there are cons to needing to plan yourself, but there are also pros, like dream wedding of your dreams!

 
Quote: Originally Posted by tulosai /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  Ugh, I guess sort of like Pollysmom, I feel SO depressed the past few days, and it is leading me to want to make a purchase, even though I know it will not make me feel better for more than a few hours.  I don't really have any major event even setting me off though... just general BLAH-ness which I feel like might get 'better' if I buy some nail polish. 
Stay strong! I mean... I'm not the best example. I allow myself to make small purchases... but I know from experience that shopping to make yourself feel better doesn't work. It may distract you temporarily, but soon the newness of the products will wear off, they'll get put into your collection, and you'll still feel sad. Makeup and nail polish just temporarily make the sadness seem less, but then it usually comes back. I recommend taking that money and instead spending it on an experience. A concert with a friend, even the zoo or something haha.

 
Quote: Originally Posted by lindzebra /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  Quote: Originally Posted by Pollysmom /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  Thanks ladies!!  I probably won't buy anything but it just gets worse.  I asked his mom, his mom told me to ask his sister, and his sister isn't answering or sending the list that she promised to send.  My matron of honor (my best friend) sent emails saying she would orgaize the shower and bachlorette party and isn't getting any more from them than I am.  His one sister told her flat out isn't helping with or going to the bachlorette party, and that was after BOTH of his sisters suggested we go see Blue Man Group, so my friend got prices and dates and everything, and she got back no response from one, and the snippy response from the other one.

I am just to the point to tell my friend to plan for my friends and family and if his family wants to do anything or be included, they will just have to do it on their own or not at all, I just don't care anymore.  He's been married before, I haven't, so I'm not sure if they feel like they've done all this once before and don't feel the need to do it again or what.  And every time I bring it up to my fiancee, he just says "relax, it will get done."  Mine will, I'm not so sure about his anymore.
I'm so sorry that his family is being like that! It's truly telling of their personalities if that's how they're treating their brother's soon-to-be wife. Just do you, get everything you want planned for you, and it's their fault if they're not included at this point.


Good Lord.  Well in THAT case - have your friend plan events for YOU (they're YOUR parties, after all!!), invite the sisters, and let them figure out their issues.  As for the invites, order them, address your own, drop an equal-sized stack in front of your fiancee, and say "It's on you!  You said 'It'll get done', and at this point, you'll be the one doing it!"  

Still, don't order the polishes.  At this point I'd recommend saving the money for a night out with your girlfriends 
icon_cheesygrin.gif


(sorry if I sound rude.  Sometimes I forget that not all in-laws are shiny happy people, and I get highly annoyed at people who are unnecessarily rude to someone who will be JOINING THEIR FAMILY.  I've already vowed that I'm going to be the best mother-in-law ever to my son's future spouses!)

 
Quote:Originally Posted by tulosai /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Yeah this is sort of a good question. To be honest (and as respectfully as possible, Pollysmom!) I think it is often a BIIIIT of a disaster if one person has been married before and the other hasn't in terms of the wedding itself (NOT the marriage) especially if the person who has been married before is the man.  It's just rough, especially if the man wasn't into planning the wedding the first time around and now is being asked to do it again.

 

I'd actually recommend sitting down with your fiance generally and saying something like 'I realize planning this is obviously a higher priority to me than it is to you.  I accept and understand that. The fact is, though, the wedding is only 3 months away, and we need to solidify a few things.  These are the things I ABSOLUTELY need from you, and these are the DROP DEAD dates that I need them by.  If you can't do this for me, it will really hurt me, because you are ignoring something that is very important to me."

 

The caps are meant to show emphasis, not to imply you should shout :p /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 

Try to keep the list of things you absolutely need from him as short as possible, and remind him about a week before each of his deadlines.  The rest just take over planning yourself.  I know that's annoying and there are cons to needing to plan yourself, but there are also pros, like dream wedding of your dreams!


I'm planning a wedding with a man who's been married before. It can get a little tricky, but right when we got engaged, we talked and he wants a wedding (probably moreso) than I do. I'm just not really into all the "look at meeeee!!", I'd prefer to go off somewhere just the two of us. But my grandma and my mom would love to see me have a wedding, so I'm really doing it for them! haha. We sat down and talked about do's and don'ts of a "he's done this before" wedding -- He's asking a "repeat" groomsman. His brother, who would've been his Best Man, passed away three years ago. The repeat groomsman is the closest thing he has to a brother, now. So, I suggested we offer to pay for whatever we require him to wear, just as a way of showing him it's important to us for him to be there. His mom and I also sat down and agreed that their "guest list" would probably be drastically smaller than mine because she (nor i) feel comfortable inviting people or asking for gifts from people who bought something for him last time (even though it was nearly 8 years ago). So, this is mostly for me and my family. We've asked for no financial input from his family, and will expect very little from them. And that's simply because they've done it before.
 
Thank you all, ladies!!  I still have not purchased anything, so go me!!  :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Let me answer a few questions that I saw come up:

Yes, the groom wants the wedding.  His first marriage was really bad towards the end, and he & I are more on "the same page" than he & his first wife were, we have similar values, ideas, and in general we get along really well.  I think he's just more laid back than I am on things and doesn't tend to think of deadlines as hard & fast.  I should also point out that he is, in a sense, in the wedding industry.  He's a DJ and has DJ'd more weddings that I've been to in my life.  So he's seen every side of the wedding from start to finish and I think he honestly believes that this is no big deal and that everything will get done.  He's also a real estate agent, so he's got a lot on his plate at any given time and when he's working a deal, it can consume him until he gets the best result for his client.  So I think he believes that he can "do it tomorrow" and then tomorrow comes and another thing comes up, and then what I've asked him to do gets put off again, or forgotten.  Then when I bring it up again, he remembers he forgot, or that I asked about it before, and he gets defensive and I feel like a b*tchy nag.

His family has been really nice & gracious up to this point.  I am honestly baffled by his sister's response to my friend, I don't know where that is coming from.  My friend said his sister ended her text about the bachlorette party with a "LOL" but my friend was like what the hell does that mean?  So at this point, she doesn't know if she's getting help or not.  One of my other bridesmaids (a coworker of mine) just had surgery yesterday, so she's out of it today, but said she will contact the matron of honor in a day or two and get the ball rolling.  So I do have people I can count on.

I did just see that his sister did in fact send the address list very late this morning, but that was all she sent, and a note that says these are all I have.  I didn't even pull up the list, because I honestly don't know half the people and I wouldn't know who on the list to invite.  At this point, I think I'm going to talk to my friend about a shower date, bachlorette party date, and set the dates, then text his family with the dates and tell them when invites are going out and be done with it.  If they want to help narrow down the list they gave me, so be it, if they don't, my list of people will get invites and I'll just leave it at that.

 
Quote:Originally Posted by Pollysmom /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Thank you all, ladies!!  I still have not purchased anything, so go me!!  :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Let me answer a few questions that I saw come up:

If they want to help narrow down the list they gave me, so be it, if they don't, my list of people will get invites and I'll just leave it at that.


What's that they always say? The day is about YOU anyway. I look at it like this... i fyou ask, and ask, and ask, and ask, and ask one last time, and no one is willing to give you the information you are asking for, what more can you do? I say make your list, invite your people, and if they get you a list, good, and if they don't, well, i guess that's on them. What I've done for my "second wedding" mister is just make a list of two or three things I need done and I give it to him. I'm like hey, in the next two or three weeks can you call the pastor and make me a 'tentative' guest list. So far, that's managed to work out pretty good. Hope I didn't just jinx myself. haha I feel for you... wedding planning stresses me the EFF out. I'd prefer the beach. lol
 
Update: My friend forwarded me the email his sister sent, and after reading it a few times, I realized that she misunderstood it. In my friends defense, the way his sister worded it was very vague, but I called my friend and asked her if she thought his sister was trying to say to leave ME out of the planning, not that SHE wanted out of the planning. My friend thought for a minute and said it could be now that I mentioned it. So crisis averted there. I didn't buy any polish, instead I took the advice given here by [@]magicalmom[/@] (I think) and painted my nails instead, using one of the wonderful gifts given to me by my for nails SS [@]alterkate[/@]. So another crisis averted.💅 At this time, it's been 19 days since I bought any polish. Yeah!!!

 
Anytime!  I'm so glad that the Polish Crisis was averted, as well as the Party Planning Crisis!

Wedding planning is seriously one crisis after another, because everyone's trying to be nice and consider everyone's feelings, and somehow SOMEONE'S always end up getting hurt.  But then it will be over and you get to turn you attention to having a wonderful marriage!! Best of luck, we're always here if you need to be talked down from the polish ledge 
wink.gif


 

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