Ex-girlfriend's Photos.....

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my boyfriend likes to keep old stuff - such as his old projects, old cards his ex's gave him as well as photos.

last time i accidently found a cd containing recording of their sex sessions and other sexual stuff i won't go into detail...

although i told him i found the cd, (and not to mention he has a file for this on his computer) .....is this normal? ( i am looking at u Tony)

i know i shouldn't be jealous, because it's in the past..but still -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> should i take it as nothing?

 
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Originally Posted by spazbaby I'd flip out! Boys... yeah..cause i get so subconcious about it and all..i keep wondering, if he ever goes back and watches it or if he is imagining her instead of me when we are having sex -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />||
 
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I hate all of that stress...I'm so glad I'm single right now or this would have made me check his computer!

 

Liz

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i don't mind if they have old stuff. i have stuff from my old bfs.

 
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Hi Shuga!

Ok, want my thoughts? Well. Let me tell you about me...I like long walks on the sunset lit beach with a glass of wine.....oh wait, you wanted to know about my some of my EXs things huh? LOL
Ok, yep I have pics of my ex's, old cards, notes, etc. But I can tell you that I don't have sex CDs or tapes of them. If I did, I could see that Reija might be mad about CDs and tapes. But for my old notes etc, she is super confident with herself and would never be mad if I had those things. In coclusion, sex CDS are out but PICS/note are in.

HTH





Originally Posted by sugersoul

my boyfriend likes to keep old stuff - such as his old projects, old cards his ex's gave him as well as photos.
last time i accidently found a cd containing recording of their sex sessions and other sexual stuff i won't go into detail...

although i told him i found the cd, (and not to mention he has a file for this on his computer) .....is this normal? ( i am looking at u Tony)

i know i shouldn't be jealous, because it's in the past..but still -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20"> should i take it as nothing?





 
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Originally Posted by Tony(admin) Hi Shuga!
Ok, want my thoughts? Well. Let me tell you about me...I like long walks on the sunset lit beach with a glass of wine.....oh wait, you wanted to know about my some of my EXs things huh? LOL
Ok, yep I have pics of my ex's, old cards, notes, etc. But I can tell you that I don't have sex CDs or tapes of them. If I did, I could see that Reija might be mad about CDs and tapes. But for my old notes etc, she is super confident with herself and would never be mad if I had those things. In coclusion, sex CDS are out but PICS/note are in.

HTH

I agree; I still have pictures of me and my ex and cards and stuff in my scrapbook just because he was a major part of my life for a while and I don't want to just erase him from my memories, and I wouldn't mind if hubby had done the same (however I was actually his first gf so I don't know what he would do
). And even then I did get rid of some stuff, like saved emails from my ex, etc. .... but sex stuff .... woah, that just seems too weird to me, that would definitely warrant a long discussion! I can understand keeping pictures, but I don't understand why he would feel the need to keep that cd ...
 
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Originally Posted by Tony(admin) Hi Shuga!
Ok, want my thoughts? Well. Let me tell you about me...I like long walks on the sunset lit beach with a glass of wine.....oh wait, you wanted to know about my some of my EXs things huh? LOL
Ok, yep I have pics of my ex's, old cards, notes, etc. But I can tell you that I don't have sex CDs or tapes of them. If I did, I could see that Reija might be mad about CDs and tapes. But for my old notes etc, she is super confident with herself and would never be mad if I had those things. In coclusion, sex CDS are out but PICS/note are in.

HTH

AHA!!! See I knew you got that "this is my ex sound clip" Online!

And I would be a little pissed too... I have pics & letters.. but the guy turned out to be a total a$$hole, so the items are there... but mentally - the feelings are LONG gone.
Honestly, in the beginning of my relationship - there were a few things that didn't sit right with me... maybe I was being a little too paranoid - but at that time I was thinking the same things you were when I came across things on my bf's computer... now those pics are gone & (hopefully) from what I see now - there is nothing I should worry about, so now that those feelings have passed,I don't care as much... but I would still be uncomfortable with anything more than a picture or two.

 
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Originally Posted by NYAngel98 AHA!!! See I knew you got that "this is my ex sound clip" Online!

And I would be a little pissed too... I have pics & letters.. but the guy turned out to be a total a$$hole, so the items are there... but mentally - the feelings are LONG gone.
Honestly, in the beginning of my relationship - there were a few things that didn't sit right with me... maybe I was being a little too paranoid - but at that time I was thinking the same things you were when I came across things on my bf's computer... now those pics are gone & (hopefully) from what I see now - there is nothing I should worry about, so now that those feelings have passed,I don't care as much... but I would still be uncomfortable with anything more than a picture or two.

yeah i didnt know i would be a parnoid gf cause i never was until i now - cause it's my first long term relationship. i've already thrown away everything from my short term ones, because like u said, they turned out to be a$$holes.
but did u tell ur bf to delete them, or he voluntarily did it?

 
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Originally Posted by Tony(admin) Hi Shuga!
Ok, want my thoughts? Well. Let me tell you about me...I like long walks on the sunset lit beach with a glass of wine.....oh wait, you wanted to know about my some of my EXs things huh? LOL
Ok, yep I have pics of my ex's, old cards, notes, etc. But I can tell you that I don't have sex CDs or tapes of them. If I did, I could see that Reija might be mad about CDs and tapes. But for my old notes etc, she is super confident with herself and would never be mad if I had those things. In coclusion, sex CDS are out but PICS/note are in.

HTH

thanks tony, i really needed a man's input
hehe i wish we had a forum which are moditored by a few men, and women here can ask relationship questions, that would be quite interesting!
 
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hm...honestly I´d probably freak out if I had a b/f and found that kinda stuff from his ex.

maybe he...just forgot to delete it?

and does he know you know about this?

 
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To be honest i dont have anything that reminds me of my past relationships (2 long-term 'ish to be exact!). Any yes i'd freak out if my boyfriend had something like that of him & his ex. What did he say when you told him you found it? What the outcome of the conversation?

 
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Yeah earlier I posted I would be upset. Pictures don't bother me or anything, I have some of those. The sex stuff would upset me. Let us know what happens.

 
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Originally Posted by Laura To be honest i dont have anything that reminds me of my past relationships (2 long-term 'ish to be exact!). Any yes i'd freak out if my boyfriend had something like that of him & his ex. What did he say when you told him you found it? What the outcome of the conversation? he knows that i know, cause we had conversation about it, and he would tell me "its all in the past" or "i am with you now" ...
however that was 2 months ago.

two weeks ago i kinda harassed him about it, i don't know why (i think it was my fault, i was PMS'ing so bad) and i asked him if i could see his ex's pictures (which is on the same cd as the sex ones) cause i wanted to know what color contacts she had (stupid excuse), i had wanted to get color contacts, and so-called considered to have the same ones as his ex.

he reached into his school bag, and retrieved it!

i freaked out, because it made me wonder, why the hell is THAT cd doing in his bag u know??

and so i asked him why.

he got angry that i was assuming too much and that esculated into an argument -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

i really don't wanna bring it up again,

but it's still in his bag! i saw it peak out last night!!

what can i do??

 
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ok I really don´t know what to say now. so he had this cd in his bag for a while?-but it´s his EX. unless he wanted to show it somebody else (which would be weird though) or give it back to her there is really no real reason for carrying it around all day.

and I know how it is when you ask guys too many questions about other girls. instead of telling you the truth they get all mad. which makes you feel even worse, although, trust me girl, you have the RIGHT to know why he still keeps this stuff. don´t let him make you feel like you´re some psycho jealous girlfriend, it´s natural for you to feel weird about this and it´s so understandable that you get suspicious

 
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Originally Posted by Arielle ok I really don´t know what to say now. so he had this cd in his bag for a while?-but it´s his EX. unless he wanted to show it somebody else (which would be weird though) or give it back to her there is really no real reason for carrying it around all day.
and I know how it is when you ask guys too many questions about other girls. instead of telling you the truth they get all mad. which makes you feel even worse, although, trust me girl, you have the RIGHT to know why he still keeps this stuff. don´t let him make you feel like you´re some psycho jealous girlfriend, it´s natural for you to feel weird about this and it´s so understandable that you get suspicious

thanks girl!! it's terrific to get another woman's 2 cents!
i don't know if he shows it to anyone, but i do know that his ex is all the way in the East coast, we are in the west coast so he doesnt have any contact w/ her.

i guess the reason why i am so paranoid is cause they ended things only cause she said she doesnt do long distant relationships (he came to california to complete his Ph.D). they didnt end in bad terms, they just ended it for the sake of ending it, since he is so far away.

*sign*i guess it's best is sit back, and time will tell ?

 
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Maybe you could volunteer to mail the cd to the ex-girl. If he has it in his bag he might be showing it to friends and such, and that might upset the ex. I would be more worried about the poor woman's privacy than the fact that he has the cd. For me personally it doesn't bother me if my boyfriend looks at adult videos or whatever, and because she's an ex I would consider the cd to be just another dirty movie. The ex might not want to be that sort of movie star. What I would do is forget that he ever had this cd of her, and just mail it back to the girl.

 
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I'd ask him to throw it away. I wouldn't waste my money mailing it to his ex. Also why does he have it in his school bag? If he is showing it to people that is totally disrespectful to her (the ex) and to you his current girlfriend). There are things (especially sex ) that should remain private between people that are in a relationship. I don't know how long you have been dating but I'd certainly rethink your relationship before it went on any further. I do understand holding on to pictures and stuff like that but never something so intimate. I hope you don't think my advice is too harsh but you are young and I wouldn't want you to potentially waste your precious young years on a guy who doesnt fully respect your feelings! And believe me I am talking from experience. I was with one guy from the age of 18-25. Believe me I had blinders on in that relationship. My friends tell me it wasn't a waste but a learning experience. Yeah right! 7 years is a long time to finally learn that I wasn't being treated and respected like I should be. If something trouble you like that cd and you tell him that he should do anything in his power to make you feel comfortable even if that means throwing it out. Again I'm not being mean just telling my opinion because I went through something similiar. I know how hard and frustrating it is when you love someone but know that something isn't right! Good Luck!

Originally Posted by suzukigrrl Maybe you could volunteer to mail the cd to the ex-girl. If he has it in his bag he might be showing it to friends and such, and that might upset the ex. I would be more worried about the poor woman's privacy than the fact that he has the cd. For me personally it doesn't bother me if my boyfriend looks at adult videos or whatever, and because she's an ex I would consider the cd to be just another dirty movie. The ex might not want to be that sort of movie star. What I would do is forget that he ever had this cd of her, and just mail it back to the girl.
 
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OMG Shug - it's in his BAG!!?!?!
WTF!? I'd definitely say something... that's just rude! I would be pissed. I asked him to get rid of the things on the pc... and he deleted them. (as far as I know
lol - that was an old pc, which is now at his house, and maybe gets turned on once a year lol) But Jennie made some good points... I'd ask whether he wants to be with YOU or be living in cyberworld with the memories of Miss Ex. It sucks to feel like you are (I've been there - several times) but you gotta lay it all out, or else it will constantly eat at you until you just blow up one day - & he'll think you're nuts


 

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