Would you be upset if your s/o didnt want to sleep with you?

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Literally.

I spent the last 5 years of my life crying because I couldnt be with my boyfriend. At night time would be the time I was the saddest over it. I would often cry myself to sleep over it, I HATED sleeping alone..

Now that my boyfriend and I live near eachother and im over there almost every day, sleeping over quite often..we get that chance. The first week or so I slept there every day..and I LOVED waking up in the middle of the night seeing him next to me. It was very comforting and I have been looking forward to that for years. The past week or two though, he has said that I hog the bed/blankets..and he always goes on the couch now. Even when we went to his parents last weekend and they were out of town, he said it was too hot in his room and went in the basement to sleep. I was alone again
I know these are the real reasons but it makes me sad that he doesnt care about sleeping with me? On the internet (and yes I've realized on the internet it's way different than what really happens) we always talked about how we couldnt wait to sleep in the same bed. Now he could care less.

He knows it upsets me and last night he was going to take me home (he doesnt even want me there at all at night it seems) but I was sad so he said I could stay..I was sad about not sleeping with him in weeks..so I figured he would sleep with me right? No..he went on the couch (it's a pull out bed) which defeated the whole purpose of me staying anyway..I was really sad and cried myself to sleep.

I know it all seems so trivial but it just makes me sad..I am a sensitive person to a lot of things and I had my heart set on getting to sleep with the man i've loved for years instead of by myself. Every time I sleep alone now it reminds me of those feelings I felt before we could be together and I feel that same lonliness even though he is in the other room.

He knows how I feel, yet let me go to bed alone anyway..I guess I hog it THAT much. :/

How would you feel in this situation, am I the only one who gives a crap if they get to sleep with their s/o??

sorry so long!

 
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I would be upset too. When I met my now husband and we started sleeping at each other's places, he said I was a blanket hog. Well, we you go for 20 years having a bed to yourself, of course you're used to pulling the blankets on you and not having to worry if you're taking them from someone else. One solution we tried was we each had our own blankets. It probably looked silly, but we both were warm and covered, and not having to worry about whether we were taking the blankets from each other.

I'm concerned, though, that although you've told him how sad this makes you, he's still not staying with you at night. Maybe he has other issues going on and hasn't opened up about them yet?

 
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How it the relationship otherwise? Has he been acting odd since you came to town other than the sleeping situtation? Some people just like to sleep alone. I love to sleep next to my dh even though he steals all the covers and has his feet or legs all over me in the middle of the night. I cried myself to sleep every night when I was in the hospital. It was so hard to be away from him and the kids especially at night. So I know how you feel.

I would say as long as the relationship is still good then I would be ok with it. But it would still suck.

Originally Posted by velvet_tears /img/forum/go_quote.gif I would be upset too. When I met my now husband and we started sleeping at each other's places, he said I was a blanket hog. Well, we you go for 20 years having a bed to yourself, of course you're used to pulling the blankets on you and not having to worry if you're taking them from someone else. One solution we tried was we each had our own blankets. It probably looked silly, but we both were warm and covered, and not having to worry about whether we were taking the blankets from each other.
I'm concerned, though, that although you've told him how sad this makes you, he's still not staying with you at night. Maybe he has other issues going on and hasn't opened up about them yet?

Same here, we use an extra large blanket or two sets of them if need be, but we always sleep in the same bed.

 
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I figured people would think there was something wrong, i'd think there was too if I read that..and didnt know better. He is still in love with me more than ever, he gets upset that it makes me upset but I guess he just really doesnt want to sleep with me? I told him i'd get my own blanket.. He definately doesnt act distant and I could tell if he was having an issue other than that. But nope, just this.

The thing you said Bexy "I love to sleep with my dh even though he steals all the covers" Makes me so sad..because I know I would still love to sleep with my bf even if he was a hog.. It makes me so sad because I wish he felt this way too.

 
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Maybe hes overwhelmed. It seems like you were with him 24/7 and maybe he needs some space? Idk thats how i feel.

 
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Maybe..it was always him who was too clingy though. I don't invite myself over anymore either, I wait for him to ask me..and if it doesnt happen then it doesnt happen. He is not the type to be overwhelmed with me I don't think.

 

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One thing is to stay near your s/o, say that you want to sleep with that person and yadda yadda. Another is to actually sleep with that person.

Like that - i like taking naps side by side with bf, but i'm unsure if i'd like to sleep a whole night with him - he snores (i know because we slept on the same bedroom when we were travelling and then he was on the bed next to me and snored all night - everytime i woke up i had to move his face around so he'd stop)

Ask him if you snore - that may be the issue

 
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Id be leary ,are you still having sex? does he treat u the same (loving ect)

Could he be into men? I only ask these cuz I never heard of a man who refuses sex not in my relationships

Im so sad for you I wish I could help more

 
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Lol im not talking about sex


We havent even had real sex yet

 
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ohh man well if the problems are happening before sex then I dunno a bad signal?

Originally Posted by MindySue /img/forum/go_quote.gif Lol im not talking about sex

We havent even had real sex yet

 
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Im talking about actual sleeping

not that big of an issue to be a bad signal but im sad none the less

 
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its not a big issue? how much does he not sleep with you?

Originally Posted by MindySue /img/forum/go_quote.gif Im talking about actual sleeping
not that big of an issue to be a bad signal but im sad none the less

 
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Yeah it says it all in the first post, we slept in the same bed for 2 weeks an then the next 2 weeks he didnt want to because i was a bed hog.

 
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OkIll be frank IMHO I think its a big issue when a guy doesnt not want to sleep with you cuz your a blanket hog.. thye may be a deeper issue laying somewhere .. but thats inho

try offering 2 blankets (one each)and sleepin same bed then see what he has to say about that


 
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I agree with Ricci i think there is more to this. I think you guys should really talk about it, i think its a little strange that he doesnt want you sleeping next to him for 2 weeks straight. Maybe someone can it explain better than me. lol

 
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Yeah I can understand why people think it's a bigger issue..but it really isnt. My bf is very attentive to me and hasnt been acting strange at all..he apologizes for it and cuddles with me right until we go to bed..it's just something he doesnt like I guess

I know there is 100% no way that it's a bigger issue than this, to hopefully hault further posts that something else is going on.

 
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I really dont think there's a bigger picture to this.....umm....he's a man plain and simple (no offense to men) and umm.... he's a man, lol. You get married, the bed issues will get worse, lol or even if you guys start living together after a while, it will get worse. All things have good days and bad days.....I wont get into me and my husband sleeping together, it aint always sunshine, lol


 
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I hate sleeping with someone. Cant stand it. Maybe he really does just want to sleep alone. The man that I see now understands that about me and he has decided that he is ok with that and I totally and truly adore him. I know it must be sad when you are the one who wants to be in the bed with him but as a person who likes to sleep alone, that may be all it is. If you are truly sure that the relationship is fine otherwise, try to take it for what it is and decide if that is going to be ok with you.

 
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Call him out. Randomly too. Be in the middle of a conversation and just switch it up. thats what I do to Chris. He doesnt expect it so he blurts out the reason behind him being strange. Or just talk to him about it. I agree with whoever said that there is an underlying reason behind it. No one will say because you hog the blanket they wont sleep with you anymore. Maybe you fart in your sleep (Lol..sorry, just kidding) and he doesn't know how to deal with it. But seriously. I would advise you to talk to him about it and let him know it hurts your feelings. I am a blanket Hog and shit like that has never gone down. But people are different.

Oh oh..Lol..Just to lighten the mood let me tell you a story. So I walk out of the shower (in Chris's place) and I hear him talking to his friends. about like 3 or 5 of them. He hears me coming and gets a smirk on his face. He is about to do it. He announces to them "Oh..Grace farts in her sleep". I dont! I really dont! but because I said something about him teasingly to them..He got me back.

Hope that made you smile or laugh.


 
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Aw sorry to hear that, Mindy. I´d be very upset too!!! Of course the first thought would be that there´s an underlying problem. But none of us know your bf or the relationship you guys have, so if you say there´s nothing more to it than I believe you 100%

Personally I LOVE to cuddle before I go to sleep, but when I´m really READY to fall asleep I always move away from my fiancé, to my side of the bed. I just can´t stand not being able to move freely cause I move around in my sleep a lot.

That´s why it took like 1 or 2 months for me to get used to having him in my bed almost every night or every other night when he was still in Vienna. At first I hated sharing, but then I got used to it and now I hate sleeping alone lol

People have weird sleeping habits, maybe your bf is like me and has to get used to this first. He´ll have to force himself to sleep in bed with you until he gets used to it.

 

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