Would you be upset if your s/o didnt want to sleep with you?

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Maybe he's losing out on some sleep and that's making him irritable and maybe that's why he doesn't want to share the bed? I personally don't like sharing a bed with anyone but I could deal with it over time.

 
I got the perfect solution!

Get a bigger bed and individual blankets (or 2 bigger blankets which is what I like)!

Easy! (unless you do snore :p /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />)

I know what you mean... I love sleeping (not the sex sleeping) with my bf ... but he has this thing where he likes a part of me on him (like he will literally wake up in the middle of the night and see me not on him, grab my leg or arm and put it over him) - cute? Maybe but im tiny compared to him (5'2 vs 6'2) so when he is on his side and my leg is over him, it gets quite uncomfortable. Besides, my comfortable position is straddling pillows in a fetal position while I am sleeping. AND, he only wants a limb on him, anything else is too hot. Which side of the bed matters to me too because I only like to lie on a certain side, etc etc.

So yeah... the bed, being such a sacred personal space, you all need to work out how your sleeping style meshes with each other and what not and again... get a bigger bed and bigger blankets - OH and more pillows!

 
my husband and i had the same problem, but when i had my last son who will be 3 next week he used to sleep with us in our bed, and my 3 year old is a crazy sleeper so my husband started sleeping on the floor next to us, then my husband strated snoring and i would coplain, so he started sleeping on the couch, and that went on for about 2 1/2 years because just recently my 2 year old started sleeping with his brother in his own room, and NOW my husband and i sleep together, but i guess it was just the situation cause we have a great marriage and normal sex life non the less. but i would look into your overall relationship, cause if you were to get married i would find you guys sleeping separatley a HUGE problem.

 
I have a suggestion make sure u have 2 blankets (one each ) and if he still dont want to sleep in same bed then u got some thinking to do

 
When me n my bf started living together I would take the blanket all the time and he would wake up in the middle of the night cold. We took care of the problem and we each have our own blanket. Its better now. He's tried to take my blanket a couple times tho. Just give it some time. Dont put to much thought into it.

 
I myself loved sleeping in the same bed with my husband when we were dating. Now that we have been married for 2 1/2 years it's rough. We also have a 3 year old that sleeps with us so 3 in a bed is hard. I rather sleep by myself to be honest. I don't think you really have an issue here. I like my space and I have always been a bed hog but my husband is worse.

 
You might not like this post but so be warned:

If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey

 
Originally Posted by Carolyn /img/forum/go_quote.gif You might not like this post but so be warned:If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey

Oh I forgot about that. He might just bee too horny to sleep next to you but maybe doesn´t wanna push things, you know?
 
Okay, I'm going to post my 2¢ here. I'm not sure how you'll take it, but this is just how I see it. I'm not sure of the specifics of your entire relationships (i.e. how many times you saw each other while dating LD), so this is me coming with what I've learned on the posts I've read, and I'm sure I haven't read them all.

1) It could be as Carolyn said and he's really horny but you're not having sex. If you're not having sex, is it because you want to wait, he wants to wait, or you just haven't? If it's because either of you want to wait, then maybe Carolyn's right in you two not sleeping together as many nights a week as you have been. It'll mean a lot less cold showers for you both.

2) You've been in Canada for about a month or so now, and you say you've spent almost every day together, and you've been sleeping over almost every night. Does it seem like he's waiting on you to fall asleep before he gets out of the bed? Is he trying to have space in other ways outside of sleeping? If so, it could be he does want some space and hasn't figured out how to tell you. If he doesn't seem as affectionate, then maybe he needs more space outside of you staying the night.

3) It could very well be you're hogging the bed/blankets, or he could be hogging them and thinks it's you. I know John tells me I'm hogging the bed, yet I can count on all of my fingers and toes the number of times I've had to move him throughout the week. So, if it's an issue there, then again, maybe sleep over less throughout the week. John used to say he hated sharing the bed because he couldn't sleep all over the bed like he was used to, but he admitted to me while we spent 2 months apart (him here in NY before we moved up), that it's lonely for him when I'm NOT in the bed. So, even men don't know what they mean sometimes LOL!

I suggest talking to him and getting an open and honest answer from him. Try your best to put on the "okay, that's fine, maybe next time" attitude when he suggests you not staying over. The last thing you want is to guilt-trip him into letting you stay and it causes feelings of resentment. Cause if he possibly already wants more space, then that's definitely not going to help the matter.

Possibly, as much as you don't want to I'm sure, ask your roommates about having a "Roomie's Night," where you cook dinner, do dishes and watch a movie together. If they're for this, suggest it as two of you cook and the other two clean, and then you all watch the movie. The next weekend, you rotate. This will give you a girl's night, him a night alone, and it'll possibly help you bond with your roommates.

SO sorry this is so long! I don't know if I put my thoughts out there as I meant to, and I think I have more stored in my brain that I didn't get out here. I hope I didn't offend you or upset you, but those are things I'd think about. Like I said, I'm not too positive as to the whole relationship and how it's worked, so I'm a definite outsider looking in. I wish you the best, and hopefully I had something I said that helps
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I actually just went through premarital counseling last night with my fiance and pastor, and we went over a similar situation.I am very physically affectionate(hugs, kisses, i love you's, and nighttime cuddling), but jamie is not. We were told that there are different"love languages". i speak the physical language, while jamie speaks the service one. he shows his love by doing things for me(putting gas in my car, paying bills, helping around the house, etc...). the problem is, when you speak two different languages, it is hard to understand the way the other expresses love. We have decided to try and speak each other's languages more. I will do more "services" for him, while he tries to be more physical. last night, I finally got cuddled! You really need to communicate with your bf and let him know how much you need this time with him. I wouldn't go one more night feeling the way you do. It's not fair for you to cry yourself to sleep. if you can't come to a compromise that will satisfy you both, there may be bigger problems that you are unaware of. good luck to you and happy spooning!

 
ITA with everyone - and don't forget to ask about the snoring thing , LOL

 
Originally Posted by Carolyn /img/forum/go_quote.gif You might not like this post but so be warned:If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey

good point! but if i remember right in previous threads she mention that they make out and do the oral thing, just not intercourse.. so imo even though they dont go all the way hes still getting some release so he shouldnt be going too crazy laying next to her, i really agree with what ricci said, i would def wonder
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BTW, I ran the story past John... He said we're being typical women reading too much into it LOL! He said it's simply a matter of your man not being used to sharing a bed. Nothing more than that. So, I dunno! He's normally pretty good on reading situations like this, so I can take his advice to heart.

 
Originally Posted by Aquilah /img/forum/go_quote.gif BTW, I ran the story past John... He said we're being typical women reading too much into it LOL! I agree with that. Too bad we can´t help reading too much into everything lol.
 
Originally Posted by Andi /img/forum/go_quote.gif I agree with that. Too bad we can´t help reading too much into everything lol. So very true! I tend to trust his opinion with things like this because I've seen him call it and watch it happen. Lord knows how someone who sits in front of a TV and PS3 when he's not at work can be so intuitive LOL!
 
Originally Posted by Carolyn /img/forum/go_quote.gif You might not like this post but so be warned:If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey

I doubt it..he gets other forms of sex all the time..every day..and i would totally have sex with him if he wanted to, we just havent gotten to that point yet. id do him in a second..haha

Originally Posted by mrom /img/forum/go_quote.gif I actually just went through premarital counseling last night with my fiance and pastor, and we went over a similar situation.I am very physically affectionate(hugs, kisses, i love you's, and nighttime cuddling), but jamie is not. We were told that there are different"love languages". i speak the physical language, while jamie speaks the service one. he shows his love by doing things for me(putting gas in my car, paying bills, helping around the house, etc...). the problem is, when you speak two different languages, it is hard to understand the way the other expresses love. We have decided to try and speak each other's languages more. I will do more "services" for him, while he tries to be more physical. last night, I finally got cuddled! You really need to communicate with your bf and let him know how much you need this time with him. I wouldn't go one more night feeling the way you do. It's not fair for you to cry yourself to sleep. if you can't come to a compromise that will satisfy you both, there may be bigger problems that you are unaware of. good luck to you and happy spooning! i think we speak different languages, he is the same as your bf and im the same as you. thanks for your post!
aquilah thanks for all yours too..very helpful.

i really, really appreciate everyone being so nice and helpful, i've read and respect all your posts.

btw i dont snore haha..

Originally Posted by Aquilah /img/forum/go_quote.gif So very true! I tend to trust his opinion with things like this because I've seen him call it and watch it happen. Lord knows how someone who sits in front of a TV and PS3 when he's not at work can be so intuitive LOL! Aquilah your hubby is a smarty. Honestly even though you all are giving me great scenarios, I truly think that it is just that..he isnt used to it.
And I have to get used to that myself!

Originally Posted by empericalbeauty /img/forum/go_quote.gif Call him out. Randomly too. Be in the middle of a conversation and just switch it up. thats what I do to Chris. He doesnt expect it so he blurts out the reason behind him being strange. Or just talk to him about it. I agree with whoever said that there is an underlying reason behind it. No one will say because you hog the blanket they wont sleep with you anymore. Maybe you fart in your sleep (Lol..sorry, just kidding) and he doesn't know how to deal with it. But seriously. I would advise you to talk to him about it and let him know it hurts your feelings. I am a blanket Hog and shit like that has never gone down. But people are different.
Oh oh..Lol..Just to lighten the mood let me tell you a story. So I walk out of the shower (in Chris's place) and I hear him talking to his friends. about like 3 or 5 of them. He hears me coming and gets a smirk on his face. He is about to do it. He announces to them "Oh..Grace farts in her sleep". I dont! I really dont! but because I said something about him teasingly to them..He got me back.

Hope that made you smile or laugh.
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Lol, thank you very much..you all have been so helpful..
 
i kinda know what you're going through.

i'm in a LCD and i've had so many urges to just lay in bed with him and fall asleep more than anything else. every time we're together and spend the night together, we cuddle til it's time to fall asleep. then, we part. i turn my back and he turns his and we're on our own. howeverrrrrr, when i wake up in the middle of the night and his back is towards me, i know this sounds crazy, but i get so sad, like he doesn't care i'm there. i don't know why i think that since i'm the first one to roll away! lol

i really think it's the LCD thing. we go (or in your case, went) through a lot of things and we're easily worried and sensitive to things like this.

good luck and i hope everything works out fine in the end
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hey jennifer thank you for your post you made me feel less crazy. i definately agree about being more sensitive..im sensitive to everything now that we are together! things on the net were so diff. im getting used to his actual behavior which is to playfully mock me all the time, but i know he does it in love, and sometimes ifeel like crying cause i wanna be like enough! cuddle me now..hahaa. on the net there wasnt much of that but more him being so super nice and complimenting me all the time.

i totally get upset waking up and not seeing him there..id prefer seeing his back than nothing though lol

 
king sized bed. evil one and i love the thought of wakeing up next to each other.love to lay by each other. we NEED a king size bed because i sleep sideways and he likes to sleep ON me. maybe thats it maybe you sleep ON him and thats why...

 

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